I'll be watching the entire season of "24" this year because KATEE SACKHOFF is going to be on every episode.

And that is good enough reason for me. Please let her be the Bad Girl, and not Kiefer's love interest.

It starts tonight. Don't miss it.

This show wouldn't be so horrendous if the girls on it weren't so pathetic.
Yeah, I said it.
You can be fat and pretty, you can be sad that no one understands you're pretty and fat.
But to go on a TV show and let your feelings be exploited like this, all for a 15 in 16 chance that you're going to be rejected AGAIN and in front of a national TV audience, well that's pathetic.

The show claims it's just the "real woman's" alternative to The Bachelor - but it's NOT. It doesn't just take size 14 women and put them on a dating show. It takes really big women with some really big emotional issues and then puts them on display and FOCUSes on these issues. It's NOT a show about "Real Size Women Finding Love" it's a show about "Super Fat Losers Who Cry a Lot Because They're Super Fat and No One Loves Them".

This bachelor they have for it, he seems to be a nice enough guy, but he's also pretty confident in himself. These women have NO confidence. How is a real love match going to come out of any of this? Well it's not likely. Because he's not THAT nice. He seems pretty condescending to me, like he's doing these girls a favor by showing them what going to prom is like.

And he IS because that's what this stupid show is ABOUT. Doing fat women a favor.

Horrendous.

Pretty on the Outside is one of my favorite websites, especially when Gilmore draws pictures of the Real Housewives of Whatever-City-This-Week. This week he shared a little animated behind the scenes video of the RH of New Jersey (My FAVORITE series, EVAH). It won't make any sense if you haven't watched the show, but if you have, you're going to laugh your ASS off.

I have loved Television Without Pity for years and years and years. They sold themselves to a network a couple years ago, and good for them, but while the quantity went up after that, the quality has kind of gone down.

However, they still have some excellent writers, and I'll read just about anything their writer Jacob puts out. So he wrote this little piece during his recap of Nurse Jackie (a show and character with which I am so in love there are no words) and I just wanted to save it here to remember, because as usual Jacob really is speaking truth here:

(I am sort of in love with Fitch Cooper MD, I will tell you that right now, I sort of wish that he were real. Because nobody who puts that many airquotes around their entire life is remotely like the person they're handing you. So it stands to reason that while douchebaggery is part of Fitch Cooper's makeup, the opposite truth about Fitch Cooper is actually what's important, and clearly he is a fraud in some deeply personal way. Same as Nurse Jackie's pretty much been acting like a junkie and sort of a bitch this entire time, and has no intention of stopping, and is still obviously awesome. I submit to you that complicated people often show you a not-so-great side at first, but that perseverance also is a great virtue when it comes to people and their sides.)

It's this kind of writing, and truth, that makes me love Jacob. Anyway, isn't that a pretty beautiful and true paragraph?

WAHHHHH I don't want ANY of the dancers to get cut tonight!
They are all so good this year!!!

I'm actually so happy because the first show last year was pretty horrendous. There were only three couples from the beginning that had any chance. This year there are maybe three dancers I don't care much about seeing - but even those dancers I've barely seen anything of!

Even Bufy was pretty into it yesterday and voted five times for her favorite. It's going to be a good year. (And very sad on every Thursday!)

Harper's Island - the TV Show

I don't know why I keep watching this stupid, STUPID show, but I do.
I just wish the killer would get a move on and get to killing a little quicker because it seems to me there are still WAY too many people on the island.

Anyone else watching this crap show? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
;)

Okay... I just don't GET it. I haven't seen grown people screaming like this since I (happily) left my last company. And it's been a couple years now, so I'm just not USED to this.

But what I don't get is how they are going to do a show next year? I mean... they HATE each other, and mostly for perfectly legitimate reasons. How are they going to sit down and pretend they like each other next year? Besides the fact that I would have taken Ramona and Kelly out behind the studio parking lot and smacked the crap out of them both, so "ka-doos" (TM Ramona) to them all for restraining themselves, but I would never ever be able to just sit in a room and pretend to be civil with any of them after today (if I was them). I'll say this, the Countess went up about a million points in my eyes after this, and I've always loved Jill and Bethenny (BETHENNY MY LOVE BETHENNY) but Ramona is WHACKO and Kelly is BIZARRO. And Alix, well, she smartly kept quiet and so also seemed so much better compared to Ramona and Kelly.

And so we're done. GAWD, finally. Of course I can't wait for next season because this is my favorite ensemble of Real Housewives - and I would watch Bethenny on anything.

But have you SEEN the Real Housewives of New Jersey??? Bravo must be crapping all over themselves with excitement over that bunch.

Real Housewives of New York

I just don't have anything to say about this reunion on TV right now. I mean, I am gloriously enjoying the deliciousness of it, but the yelling and non-stop screaming, OHMYGOD, and the fingers in each others' faces and the accusations and the INSULTS and then Kelly sounding like she's just coked out the last cells of her brain...

I LOVE it but it's giving me a massive headache and also... I would have just slapped Ramona in the face so many times this hour. GOOD GRIEF. NO WORDS.

And also LOVE.

Watching Judge Mathis (well, not really watching, just have it on in the background) and I don't know if he's been drinking but Judge Mathis is slurring his words a little today.

You go Judge Mathis. I'd drink too if I had to spend all day listening to all those crazies.

Television Shows

Haven't talked about TV in awhile yet, so let's waste more time for a minute, shall we?

Southland: I couldn't get through the first episode so I deleted after 15 minutes. The second episode I was drawn in by the baby in traffic storyline so I watched the whole thing and I actually did like it. I think it just might be a pretty good show.

Harpers Island: I was looking forward to this for a long time due to all the previews they've been showing. So again, first episode hit and I was SORELY disappointed. Way too many characters, all the blondes look the same, all the brunettes look the same (like I can't even tell who are the mothers and who are the kids!), way too many family relations that I could get straight and didn't really CARE to get straight. BUT I decided to watch one more episode, and after that I can say, well, it's not exactly a great show, but I'm really enjoying it. I'm not really sure how I feel about having a horror film on prime time TV, I mean... there's been some horrific killings on the show, light for movies, but kind of harsh for prime time. But overall, I like it.

College Life (MTV): I am just totally in love with this show, and the kids who are filming it. MTV finally got something right, and they really chose some good kids to star. I just adore it.

That's it. Off to my shower now. < / procrastination >

Did anyone else watch this tonight?
And am I crazy or was this show insanely dumb and confused?
It was all over the place in the opening minutes, I HATE when shows start out in the middle and make it seem like you've already missed episodes. I don't get the point of this show, I don't quite understand where these teams came from, and I was bored within five minutes. For all the talking up of this show beforehand, it didn't remotely live up to expectations. Marco Pierre White supposedly made Gordon Ramsay cry; I definitely had tears of boredom.

Am I wrong or was this the most badly directed and poorly executed reality show to hit Prime Time in a very long time? Or was I the only one suckered into watching it?

Haha, Allison is DEFFO pregnant in this episode.

My television happiness today:

Real Housewives of the OC: I hate most all those women. Jeana is sometimes tolerable, but otherwise I can only stand Gretchen and for some reason I'm the only person in the world who likes her. So I'm always a little happy when the season is over so I don't have to watch those women any more (because I have invisible people who force me to). Probably this season especially because they were SO hateful, so much more than usual - Vicki and Tamra I'm looking right at you two. I'll give Vicki this little piece of slack though: if Buffy ever came to me and said she joined the army, I'd be hysterically crying. So I give it to Vicki for having some self control, but otherwise I could not stand to be around her for one minute in person.

Real Housewives of New York: I love Bethany enough to watch her all by herself, but she is especially Awesome acting as the greek chorus for this show. I remember back on Martha Stewart's show when she took such control over that whacko guy on her team (if you saw the show you know who I'm talking about) and have loved her ever since. And this season promises to be even better, what with ALL the women already tired of pretending to like each other. Finished with the phoniness, they're all ready to call each other out on it. I LOVE it.

Biggest Loser: I still love the show, not much else to say about it. And Buffy and I made me an honorary contestant this year: I'm going to lose 70 pounds by August 8. We made a huge chart for the wall, I have to mark my weight down every day and put down what exercise I did. I have not participated very well yet, but I'll get this job done. Also, Buffy is a slave driver - she is a little Jillian Michaels in training. But as far as the show goes, why is Allison getting bigger every show? She already had the baby, right? She's not pregnant AGAIN, is she? Or does she just want to get a shot as a contestant? Or maybe I'm just mistaken and she didn't have the baby. I'm very confused.

And that ends your television recap of the day.

Bonnie Hunt does Kim Zolciak from "Real Housewives/Atlanta".

HI-larious.

So, you'll never hear me admit this again, I hope, but I'm watching Bret Michael's stupid new show and WHO would have ever believed they could find so many slutty, brainless women? As many episodes of Rock of Love and Charm School I have watched (Rock on, Sharon Osbourne), I cannot believe they found this many women who are even dumber and sluttier than the previous women.

Again I ask - how do you get through life like that? I can't even imagine living their lives.

And Bret - is he not EXHAUSTED dealing with all the drama with these women? I'm exhausted just watching the show.

That's it. You'll never hear again that I wasted a minute on this show. Because I won't admit it, haha.

oh, whatEVER.

Good Grief, is this show set in 1985?? That's the last time I saw orchards and any wide open space in San Jose. The cherry orchards by Evergreen College had houses built over them years ago. I believe the Mirassou Winery up the street closed up shop even before that.
~~~side track story: I went to school with some of the Mirassou kids, not the brightest bulbs in the pack, and I think even if someone from the family reads this they'll have to agree... I notice their website does not list the guy I went to school with under "family tradition". I worried about the winery's future even back in junior high.
At any rate, that was NOT San Jose you saw on that show. And "Maple Valley Hospital"??? Does not exist and is a ridiculous name for a SJ hospital. We don't grow maples here. If you're going to make up a hospital name call it "Prune Valley" or "Apricot Valley" or even, (ooh, here's an original idea), "SILICON VALLEY" hospital. Because the only thing we grow here now is computer chips. Even the aerial view was of some farm town and NOT the city that GROWS YOUR COMPUTERS and YOUR GOOGLE PHONES and your iPODS and ALL YOUR VIDEO GAMES.

I found this all very strange. I would not have expected them to actually film here, but couldn't you find scenery or sets that actually looked like San Jose? Would they film an episode in Okalahoma City and call it Miami or New York? San Jose does not have farms. We have farms in nearby towns, we USED to have farms, we no longer have farms. We have a lot of McMansions and a lot of matching empty High-Tech Buildings.

We don't have vineyards.

Eleventh Hour = Stupid.
Cynthia = Proud of her City.

Tina Fey on SNL Thursday... !!!

Wasn't she awesome? Again?

I have a feeling 30 Rock is going to explode in the ratings next week.

Eleventh Hour - TV show

I just watched the preview for tonight's episode of Eleventh Hour, a show I have never seen but will watch tonight. Because the preview states the episode is about a food-poisoned man in "San Jose, California" and then they proceed to show scenes taking place somewhere no where near San Jose. I didn't really even recognize the hills as being anywhere near here. I mean... is San Jose really known for vineyards? In the middle of nowhere? So we're going to watch it and see if the characters actually travel to other places. If they don't, if they really are going to claim they're in San Jose... Well, they are big fat liars.

(Spike just saw it and said "Why are they even setting something in San Jose anyway? It's probably about some crazy computer geek person. That's the only thing that makes sense." So, kudos, producers of Eleventh Hour - you're going to have at least two new viewers tonight.)

At least it looks like a good show! Anyone else seen this show?

Did you all see Palin on SNL last night?
I did, and I didn't think she was funny or that good (except for her rocking out to her rap, that piece was pretty funny).

I would never choose my political candidate by who's the funniest, but other political figures have come on the show to poke fun at themselves and have come off as really funny and then at least someone you can relate too. Sarah Palin was stiff and without much humor, and made herself seem like she *wanted* to be a part of things, hang with the cool kids, but is really waaaaaay too uncool to blend in.

I don't know where I'm going with this. It really has nothing to do with my political views, and an SNL skit should never be something anyone bases their decisions on. I guess it just bothered me that she couldn't loosen up and have fun... Maybe that's it. In such a serious business as the candidates are in, I would hope they could step back and laugh at themselves or the predicaments they are in, even if they caused them. That makes them real people. It's not funny to just BE on SNL, it's only funny if we can laugh WITH you, and I didn't get the feeling that Palin knew how to laugh out loud.

Also, Alec Baldwin was terrible, heh.

What do you all think? Was she funny or not? Did it make you like her more, or did she disturb you more?

My vote is funny on the rap skit, but she didn't have anything to do in it, so that doesn't count. The rest was just kind of disturbing to me because it didn't seem like she got the humor. But I want to know what you think.

Or maybe I was just mad that Tina Fey had less air time last night, heh.

I almost feel jealous that the entire country now has eyes and ultra-love for the woman I declared dibs on almost ten years ago before anyone was paying her any attention! But that's okay, I'll share her with you all just through the election. Then she's back to All Mine!!!

*Sighhhhh...* Isn't she the best? I TOLD you all she was awesome!!!!!

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Back to dreaming about my Expresso Bike that I will NOT buy....

.... !!!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

GAWD I miss Big Brother already. I miss my Showtime Big Brother show to keep me company while I study. I don't WANNA study now.

That show is so not worth missing. But it kind of grows on you.

The one I wanted to win won, though I was happy with either of them winning. It was nice to see two guys who probably really will have a lifelong friendship end the game together, and they were just really nice people - no matter what was going on, no matter how much alcohol was consumed (and never really much by either of them) they always remained nice people. I will truly miss having them in my living room every evening on Showtime, though I'm sure Buffy will be happy to have something else on TV between 9pm and midnight. During the summer Showtime showed lots of fun and good times (and hate and evil vileness), but by the time school started most of the evil people were gone and there were just really nice people left. It's funny how they start feeling like family when you're used to hearing their voices in the background every single evening. To avoid sounding like a television obsessed Big Brother groupie, let me clarify that once school started, everything was quiet in the BB house, so Showtime was a good show to have on in the background while I read and wrote and studied.

So, Good Job Dan and Memphis. You both deserve much happiness.

If only all the Big Brother seasons would be as great as this one. The best part of the finale? Knowing that now April, Ollie, Michelle and Jerry all get to go home and back to obscurity and reality, where they really should all four stay. For good.

I like to play tennis, I don't even mind watching tennis on television, but when it's time to watch Judge Judy or Big Brother I DON'T WANT TO SEE TENNIS ON MY TV!!!!!!!!

gah.

Thursday's live show:

Nice to see April is still a hateful bitch. I had kind of forgotten about her hatefulness and the DEPTHS of her disillusionment. WOOOWWWWWWW. I'm SO glad she's finally off the show.

And I will miss me some Renny something fierce. She was an inspiration to women of all ages, no matter how kooky she was. So full of sparkle and love and class. And Sparkle!

I hope Renny kicks ass all over the place when she gets to the jury house. Starting with April.

So at least last night it seemed like Keesha and Renny are on to some of old Jerry's real comments. Still, the worst they could come up with to say about him was calling him a pervert, in response to him bragging about the Korean hookers he's been with. Yeah, that's right, I'd be hella proud if my 75 year old grandpa was bragging about his Korean hookers, yuppirs.

Okay, I have a couple things to say about this season.
First, the producers did a great job of casting this year - instead of a house of sluts, whores and imbeciles, they gave us a house of relatively intelligent, good people. And then what happened, like what happened in the first season, was everyone went slowly insane and suffered altered personalities. It was always the psychological part that fascinated me about Big Brother and Survivor. But in the end, I don't think you will turn too viscious if you don't have it in you to begin with.

And so you have people like April, who is probably a bit of a bitch in real life, turn absolutely insane and paranoid and then very visciously bitchy. If you only watch the show and not the internet feeds, you probably don't realize how big of a bitch she was, but she was so self-disillusioned and obviously insecure that you kind of forgive her for it - I'm sure she's nice outside of the house. Maybe.

But I don't have much tolerance for Jerry. And it pisses me off that CBS is showing him as the loveable grandfather, maybe a little dopey, and maybe a little crazy with his "Judas" remark, but mostly a sad old man who just misses his family.

He's not. He's the most viscious, disgusting, vile-filled houseguest of them all. And I just need to say this in case anyone has ANY intentions of voting him America's Favorite, because if you heard him on the feeds you would just vote him OUT. The saddest part is knowing Keesha is going to hear the things he said about her later - "golddigging cunt", "used up, saggy ass", "never going to fuck her way to the top" , etc. And then has the gall to give her hugs and call her "Baby" and give his sad old man act, "Just please talk to me", etc. That "sad old man" called Keesha a "golddigging cunt", Keesha, who can never quite bring herself to say anything bad about anyone, AND was the only one who befriended him and continued to talk to him as everyone else got tired of his bull and just ignored him.

I can't quite blame all this vileness on the house insanity, because he also had this to say about his son-in-law who is also his doctor:
"He sticks his finger up my ass, but he's married to my daughter, I tell him I don't know where that finger's been!"

It's been in your daughter. And you're thinking about that as he puts that same finger up your ass. That. Is Disgusting. And Gross. And I would be doing everything I could to get him out of the house and away from the cameras if I were his family. Maybe Ollie's right and his family won't be ashamed that Ollie was having doggie-style sex day and night on camera while he was in there, but at least he wasn't hurting anyone. Sad old Grandpa Jerry has something extremely viscious and uncalled for to say about everyone, and then walks around saying "I never got nasty in this game, I don't talk behind people's backs."

I'll tell Jerry like I tell my daughter: Just because no one in the house saw you do it, just because no one heard you, doesn't mean you didn't do it.

Do NOT vote to give Jerry any money.

Pischina watching a Mia Michaels routine hours before her period should start:

"Aww, the dancers are angels. That's so sweet.. wait, the angels are sad! Why are they sad? I don't want to see... *sniff* sad angels... what happened? What made the angels so.. *sniff* sad?? WHY ARE THERE SAD DANCING ANGELS ON MY TV SCREEN???? BAWWWWWLLLLL!!!!!!!"

Is anyone else watching Big Brother this season? I hope you are, because it is really good. They've made some changes and hopefully they keep panning out.

The cast this season is pretty great. Not everyone is really likeable, but the house isn't full of sluts, whores and morons. They seem to be, for the most part, educated, intelligent and interesting people. I couldn't live locked up in a house with them, but I couldn't name 12 people who I would want to be locked up with.

At any rate, as a viewer I find most of them to be really interesting, even the ones I don't like a whole lot.

Plus, the honey/feather competition? GENIUS. Best competition on Reality TV EVER except for when Survivor first started having competitors beat the crap out of each other. I couldn't stop laughing last night as they slogged their way through the honey, all covered with feathers. It was a combination of "I wish I could do that" and "I don't EVER want to do that!"

And lastly, the Big Brother After Dark on Showtime is already GREAT. Well, the clapping game last night was dumb, but when they started doing the spinning/ball game I was laughing out loud again and (almost) wanted to move into the house with them. Later in the evening I just had it on in the background as I played Sims2 and suddenly I heard all this screeching on screen, I turned around and April and Keesha were having a HUGE fight, the likes of which you don't usually see until much later in the season (Evil Dick/Jenn, James/Sheila). I could not believe what I was seeing, April brandishing a pool cue at Keesha who spent the rest of the night screaming "Fucking Barbie Bitch" (heeeeee). And also... Jerry is quite a creepy dude, and Michelle needn't encourage him with her baby talk. Baby talk from grown women is also a big creepy factor, but especially when directed at a creepy old man who likes to touch and kiss young women way too much.

Okay, that's my comments on Big Brother. There have only been two episodes on television, so there's still time for a quality nosedive, but I'm enjoying it so far and especially the After Dark Showtime episodes. I hope some of you are watching it too!

I love this show so much and am SO FREAKING EXCITED about it starting tonight. Even Mary's frightful screams are bringing tears to my eyes.

And the Summer Olympics!!! Coming Soon!!!! It will be Pischina Screams pretty soon!

Also, I totally aced my Modern English midterm. Totally!

I interrupt my essay writing to say that this season's Survivor is the BEST SURVIVOR SEASON EVER. I have never sat and laughed my ass off at Survivor for so many weeks IN A ROW. If you guys haven't been watching, you've missed some Good Good Stuff.

It's actually quite amazing that a bunch of women actually got their acts together and joined forces. IT'S ABOUT TIME. Oh my god I have tears running down my face from laughing so hard.

And now I go back to writing. I'm up to a whole 940 words. Heh.

I wasn't 100% into this show but I did follow along and I did like a couple of the models. I always thought Holly had a great look, and I thought the 2nd place girl was one of the best (sorry 2nd-place-Girl, never learned your name), and I loved Ben's dimples. And then the whole Bro-mance thing, which was honestly pretty hot, and then poor Perry and his dumb-ass girlfriend. I mean, the show kind of grew on me at the end.

And in the end, I was kind of surprised that Holly won, but she was pretty great. I honestly thought it was going to be between Ben and Perry, but I think all four of those guys should be able to make a living in the modeling world.

But Perry, dump that bitch. That girl is definitely trouble.

Make Me a Super Model (**SPOILER ALERT**)

I wasn't 100% into this show but I did follow along and I did like a couple of the models. I always thought Holly had a great look, and I thought the 2nd place girl was one of the best (sorry 2nd-place-Girl, never learned your name), and I loved Ben's dimples. And then the whole Bro-mance thing, which was honestly pretty hot, and then poor Perry and his dumb-ass girlfriend. I mean, the show kind of grew on me at the end.

And in the end, I was kind of surprised that Holly won, but she was pretty great. I honestly thought it was going to be between Ben and Perry, but I think all four of those guys should be able to make a living in the modeling world.

But Perry, dump that bitch. That girl is definitely trouble.

So I got sucked into Big Brother again, even though I could not stand the hamsters on this season at first. This time I don't have the live feeds and I'm not reading the recaps, but I am watching BB After Dark on Showtime so I have some idea of what's going on that they "forget" to mention on the broadcast - like Chelsia being a filthy whore bitch, and James screaming like a spoiled brat baby at Sheila until he lost his voice. (Also, I see Ryan picking his nose quite clearly in the background this very minute, haha)

Overall, I hated the hamsters. But I guess they got rid of all the really bad ones, because those remaining are starting to grow on me. I probably like Adam the best, and Ryan reminds me of so many nice guys I know. They're pretty likeable, and though they love to play tricks on everyone in the house, they love to laugh and everyone laughs with them. The whole house is having fun - at least for now. The two that crack me up the most are Sheila and Natalie. I don't care for Sheila that much but I'm starting to love Natalie. First of all, somehow she's a lot smarter than she acts, so much so that it wouldn't surprise me to find out she's just a plant. Not like a foliage plant, haha, but a planted pretending-to-be-stupid hamster plant. Heh.

But the two of them together, Sheila and Natalina, they are CrAzY-ToWn. It's hilarious listening to their late night drunken talks about God and the other houseguests.

Or maybe I've just lost my mind somewhere along the line because I totally love Daisy from Rock of Love too.

And now I must leave you because Jody Foster just walked onto the Jay Leno show. And she is much more important.

Autism: The Musical was one of the documentaries at Cinequest that I was not able to see, but I had heard it had been bought by HBO. Sure enough, yesterday afternoon I was just scanning through channels and there it was! So I watched some of it (it was already half over) and really fell in love.

I had thought this was going to be another heartwarming story of autistic kids putting on a musical, and that's all well and good but I really had no interest in watching it during Cinequest - it's predictable, you know? I was sure it was going to be about, you know, severely autistic kids who overcome their difficulties to put on a show... Blah blah blah, and an end with teary eyes because of what they accomplished.

But what I saw yesterday was pretty amazing. Many of these kids were highly functioning, and seemed highly intelligent too. (Since I didn't get to see the whole thing yet, I don't know the full story of these kids) The little boy Wyatt for instance was one of the most precocious, intelligence and caring kids I've ever seen on TV or met in real life - I wanted that kid to live on my street so I could be his friend and he would never have to retreat into his "own world" that he disliked so much. Beautiful Henry is actually the son of Stephen Stills from Crosby Stills and Nash. These kids were smart, coherent, amazing and talented. For me, it wasn't about "what the autistic kids can do" but more about actually learning SO MUCH about autism - for instance that so many of these kids were so smart and I never would have known they had autism. And heck, I could have watched a movie solely about Wyatt, autism or no.

I checked the listings and it's playing several times today and tomorrow. If you get HBO you should find some way to watch it or tape it. I'm serious. I taped it this morning so I can watch the whole thing. I'm telling you all, as my faithful readers, you won't be disappointed - this was a pretty fantastic documentary.

And why the hell is there a commercial for Hooters on my TV right now??? There aren't any Hooters around here.

"Bitch is the new black!!"

I love you Tina Fey!!!
I will have to keep my recording of tonight's SNL forever!

Pretty on the Outside is correct, Rock of Love is an all you can eat crazy buffet. I love this show... I just don't get where they find these women??? How do you even become a woman like this?? Where are their parents? (Heh.) I just don't get them, I don't know how you go through life being that stupid, and how being that trashy can give you any satisfaction in life, and just... what is the POINT of yourself?
But I still love watching them.

Charleen and me on Amazing Race

Charleen and I were discussing how we would never be able to do the race with anyone in our lives without fighting and wanting to kill someone. Charleen said not even she and I could do it without hating each other.
I disagreed.
"We'd be the team that was peeing our pants laughing so hard through the whole thing."
She agreed.
Of course, Charleen would have to do all the driving since I can get lost going home, but I would have to shift for her since she cannot drive a stick...
And there's no way in the world we would get past the first leg of the race...
But we would be the FUNNEST team to watch, for SURE.

Did anyone else watch the ending for Amazing Race tonight??
BEST ending in a LONG time! YAYYYY!!!!!
That made me really, really happy.
I think it would be hard for ANY couple to go through all that stress and I usually cut the fighting couples some slack (but not for everything) (Nate! and Jen!) but it is unbelievable how calmly those two got through the race. I just love them, and am SO very happy for them.
YAYYYY

Wow, it didn't take long after Mr. Whipple's death for Charmin to gather a bunch of old clips of him to paste together in a blatant attempt to capitalize on his image by tugging on our heartstrings and getting us to buy their stupid toilet paper.

I hope Mr. Whipple's family is being compensated for this new commercial, but somehow I doubt it.

South Park + Guitar Hero = AWESOME

That was Hilarious. But only if you've played Guitar Hero. Otherwise you just would not understand.

"Where did the dragon go??"

HEEEEEEEEE

YAYYYY!!!!

LOVE the new theme song, LOVE IT. Well played, Survivor!

LOVE the new hodge podge of Survivors.

Chicken and Lunch Lady - Love them. edit to say: Never mind. Liked Chicken until he went all wierdly anti-bossy.

Courtney - HATE. HATE HATE HATE.

Christian Radio lady - Whatever. I respected her decision to leave the ceremony - until she quoted the bible and then said "I'm not a religious person but I have a relationship with Jesus Christ." Lady, pick a side. I don't want to get into any arguments with people here, but WHATEVER. Are having a relationship with JC and being religious two different things? Just own your belief and I would have respected you more.

It never fails to surprise me that people actually show up, to SURVIVOR, with huge gold dangling earrings. Yeah, those will come in handy. Also - What was the point of bringing those huge suitcases??? SURVIVOR people, has ANYONE watched this show before????

Maybe Mr. Pro Poker Player could keep his shirt on until he starts losing some weight. I'm just saying. Yeah, I'm fat too, but I keep my shirt on. (Hear that Britney??) (and I've lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks, so BLAM!)

Monkeys!!!

ADORE the grave digger. I want to take him home and make him a nice hot dinner and be his friend, ya know?

Love Frosti - Frosti and Spike both do parkour, and parkour is awesome, plus - "FROSTI"??? Gotta love that.

Love the torch put-outter. Yayyy!

Overall, it seems like we have an awesome bunch of diverse, mostly likeable people. There are a few people we didn't see much of yet, but overall, I'm ready for this season!

Long live Survivor!!! Down with Big Brother (Donato haters - Unite!)!!!

When I wrote the post below I kind of felt bad, but I was not gleefully wishing failure on Britney (no, Really!). I don't believe she's evil, and I don't wish any evil upon her. I just wish she would frickin hit bottom already so she can get her act back together! I mean... shaving her head wasn't rock bottom? Obviously not, because she has not improved anything.

Like I've said before, I am just fascinated by this girl because I don't understand her. She has all that money, all that talent (not singing, but yes in dancing and promoting herself), but the girl can barely dress herself in the morning. I just don't get her. And I still don't. How could the Britney of four years ago have thought last night that she was prepared for that performance? How does someone go from being so promotion-smart and business-savvy when she was a child, to the mess she is today as an adult? That's what I don't get. How someone can go backwards.

Okay, it's too early for this. I'm getting some work done now.

I don't even know what to say about that performance on the VMAs. I will say this, I grudgingly admitted that I really sort of liked her new song when I first heard it. You know I can't stand this girl, so obviously I was expecting to hate it... but I couldn't quite. But I was really looking forward to seeing the disaster on the VMAs, all the while wondering if she would actually pull it out. I mean... MTV okayed it, to OPEN their show, so it must be okay, RIGHT?

Heh. Even Spike, who is usually oblivious to my frequent Britney rants, sat here staring at the TV saying, "Uh... what's wrong with her?" "Is she lip synching? Omigod, she doesn't even know the words!!!!" and on and on. I loved the performance - because it was so deliciously MORE awful than I ever could have imagined! Oh Britney, what would I do without you to entertain me??

(I thought Sara Silverman was funny on some things... but not on others. I'm not really liking her much right now)

Overall, I thought the VMAs sucked. Not one video clip in the whole show? Mostly just little bits of performances?

I did love Chris Brown and Rihanna though, the show should have opened with THAT performance, for SURE.

One person I really loved though, was Miss South Carolina - I have enjoyed laughing at her the last couple weeks, but when you go on television and make fun of yourself - in a very delicious, spot-on parody - I have to love you. Congrats Miss SC - that was awesome.

I am getting ready soon to write a real entry about the cruise, but I've been busy. I'll be getting to it soon though, promise. Also, I am behind on SEVERAL emails and I hope you forgive me.
:-D

TelevisionWithoutPity is recapping The Office!!!!

Or they already were and I was not aware of this.... but I simply cannot believe that.
And it's Miss Alli!!!

Otherwise known as the most disgusting show on television.

I've been following the feed recaps, but the minute the whole Jen/Dick blowup started I got the actual feeds and have been watching them a lot this week even though they make me want to barf. Dick and Eric are the most disgusting, vile creatures I have ever seen on TV before - more vile than Boogie.

And CBS? Is not much better. That whole Jen/Dick fight they showed tonight - totally out of order and totally LEAVING OUT stuff, like the real reason Jen got mad and started eating. Like how she was totally bawling and broke down by Dick, finally. Like how Dick is a piece of shit and Eric is a follow-alonger, and Danielle is a manipulative spoiled brat and Amber is just too incredibly stupid to hate much. Zach is actually a much better person than they show on TV, Jameka is Jameka, and I wish Jess would speak up more about what's going on - because there's only so long you can let this abusive shit go on before you are implicated by not standing up against it.

I give Jen a lot of credit. I never could have stood up against Dick for so long without punching him. She did her best and then she just couldn't do any more - but CBS didn't tell the truth. And they're keeping their precious "America's Player" under wraps because they don't want America to know he just as dispicable as Dick. The entire house treated Jen like a dog this week and she never did anything. This house has to be a psychologist's dream - but that doesn't make it right.

I hope Jessica gets out one of these pieces of crap next week. Only I shudder at the thought of Dustin and Jen locked in the sequester house with Dick.

Diet Mountain Dew + Ferret + Chainsaw = Frickin hilarious

I just saw the ad on TV. I'm not sure how I would feel if my kids were still little and they had seen it, but for non-kids to see... frickin hilarious.

I'm gonna have to get me some Diet Mt. Dew.

So there's some stupid commercial on TV, and I don't know what it's for because I missed it, but Buffy saw it, and she asked me if "that's the way it was" when I was young.

"The way what was?" I asked.

Buffy: "You said 'With it' ?"

Me: "With it?"

Buffy: "Yeah, you said Get with it, You have to Be With It."

Me: *thinking* No one says that anymore?? You don't say "with it???"

Me: Um, yeah.

Buffy: And "Jiggy"? You said "Jiggy with it"?

Me: Um, NO. That was Will Smith. Only.

So, uh, commercial for whatever it is, as soon as I find out what you're trying to sell, I'm not going to buy it. Thanks for making me feel old around my daughter. Again.
;-)

Buffy and I agreed that Big Brother was much better last night. But because I don't bother keeping a good eye on the feeds when there are so many people in the house, I don't know how much of the storylines were fabricated. But Nick went waaaaaay up in my opinion, Jen is too hilarious to get rid of, I still like Dick and Danielle, Buffy and I both think Dustin is the cutest...

And though I would absolutely hate Jessica in real life, she is Number One entertainment for me on this show.
"Bye Carol! See you at the high-school reunion in ten years."
I LOVE that girl's snarkiness.

P.S. Amber, God doesn't care about the Big Brother show, okay? Try praying a little quieter and not in a loud voice directly into your microphone. P.P.S. You're an idiot.

...is already getting old and according to the feeds, seems completely staged and scripted this year. Dumb. So stupid.

WHAAAAAAATT???????

I thought Neil and Anya were going home, I really did. I'm sad that Jesus went home, but not that upset. But I don't get the ouster of Jessie, at all.

If she had danced that cha-cha last night she never would have been in the bottom three. Or maybe so, because I was shocked the week she was in bottom three for her beautiful bird dance. But I don't get it tonight. She danced her ass off with Pasha, then danced pretty good on the dance-off. Lauren sucked on her dance-off but is usually fantastic otherwise, so I get that. But Anya never really impresses me THAT much, and after her dance-off tonight I thought it was a given that she was going home. I never would have guessed in a million years that Jessie was going home after that dance with Pasha.

And not even one snippet of explanation from the judges. Not one comment as to why. If I was her I would be very very angry about this for a long time. I hope she's not though. And I hope she stays healthy.

As for Cedric, I called it last night. I knew he'd make it, HAHAHAHA, that's what the judges get. I mean, holding the funeral before the death is not really proper, eh? Heh. I'll bet a million dollars though that Cedric never draws a Wade Robson dance out of that hat. Those judges will NEVER let that happen. They'll make sure he's gone by next week.

Speaking of choreographers:

Mia Michaels: I hate her kind of dance, but I have to say every dance I've seen her choreograph on this show has made me cry. And that's saying quite a lot.

Wade Robson: Um, what can you say about him? Saying he's a genius is like not even giving him enough credit. I mean, that's an obvious one.

Tice Diorio: The first time I heard Cat say his name, with her accent, I thought his name was "Tasty Oreo". Go ahead, say his name out loud in an English accent and you'll see what I mean. And I thought that was a pretty cool name for a choreographer. Tasty Oreo. Anyway, every time I see him now I think "Hey, there's the Tasty Oreo guy!" Heh.

Okay, that's it. Poor Jessie.

Hey Paula - did you really approve this???

Ummmm....

I just watched Hey Paula...
Did any of you?
What I really want to know is, Did Paula??? Did she really approve this?? After she watched herself?? Or did she really think this show that is designed around "Paula has insomnia and that's why she is acting drunk as a skunk" would really convince us that insomnia is the problem?

Goodness. I kind of feel sorry for her, because if she thought this was a good idea... you know, there goes Paris looking smarter now. And again, if you're looking stupid in comparison to Paris...

Oh Paula.

I found a MUCH better clip of the famous hip hop clogger from So You Think You Can Dance. This picture quality and sound quality is much much better. So if you didn't catch it on TV, watch it here (with sound!!!): Click here

I finally found a tape of this guy on YouTube.com. Unfortunately it's a film of the television screen so it's not terribly clear and the sound isn't that great. You miss half the adorability by not being able to see his facial expressions, and you can't hear the incredible tapping sounds. But enjoy it if you can - Click Here.
I totally disagree with Nigel's dislike of his booty-shaking - I still think he's adorable!!!
AND he did make it on to Vegas!

And I don't care what Nigel says, he's "booty shaking" is awesome. In the most adorable way. I wish his dance was on YouTube.

You've been Clogged!

I need to get that clogger guy on a taped loop or something because I just can't get enough of watching his adorable little dance.

Is anyone else watching this show? Buffy has pronounced it to be her "favorite show in the world". Anyway, did anyone else watch it tonight? The clogger??? Was he the most adorable thing in the ENTIRE WORLD???

He appears to be the lost-at-birth twin with Buffy's best friend Mark, and she is madly in love with the clogger. We have rewound and watched his dance At. Least. Thirty. Times. I told her we need to teach Mark the dance ("Choreography time!") so we don't have to rewind any more.

But I don't mind, because I love him too. Are we two the only ones? Wasn't he absolutely adorable and FABULOUS??

Also, Phoebe is resting in different spots all over the front of the house. She walks to them! Usually after she has peed wherever she was resting. I have towels all over the place. I'm going to have a hefty carpet cleaning bill when this is over. But she's walking!!! and drinking!!! (I still have to shove the food down her throat, heh)

So this weekend since I can't really pay attention to anything on TV I came across some show on one of those shopping networks (233 on DirectTV), it's called Live Jewelry Auction but really you just call in to save a spot and the show keeps lowering the price until the item is sold.

I'm keeping the phones away from myself because even though I'm not a jewelry person (at ALL) it's easy to get suckered into these things. But this show kind of cracks me up and it's easy to watch in between watching Phoebe.

The part that really cracks me up is that it's the same girl this morning that was there yesterday afternoon - only yesterday she had an english accent! She's wearing the exact same shirt as yesterday only it was white then and now it's red. But she has the same not-great french manicure.

Anyway, this show is what has kept me amused as I take care of my sick cat this weekend. Who knew people could get so excited over these things?? I try to imagine who is at home watching this and actually calling in. And hoping I won't be one of those people, haha.

Phoebe could care less about jewelry and is keeping an eye out the front door again.

YAYYYYYY
I love Apolo so much, and his tiny little adorable dance partner.

Yesterday Buffy and I were watching their first dance and when it was over I said, "Those two need to just go get married, don't you think?"

Buffy: Yep.

Me: And have lots of babies. They'd have the most beautiful babies.

Buffy: They'd have the shortest babies.

Well, Buffy always speaks the truth.

Season Finale - AWESOME!!!

I watched it twice.
:-D

I'm taking a break from my Archaeology Paper because I'm replaying last night's The Office episode while I write, and my hopes that I just misunderstood it last night are dashed.

What the hell was that?
Was that The Office in Bizarro Land?
Was it Topsy Turvy Day in the writer's room?
Were the censor's taking a nap?
Ryan is writing love emails to Karen?
Pam imagines Jim flashing her in front of Roy? ...?????
Michael wears a school girl dress for Jan during sex?
Jan is certifiably insane??
How is Michael not fired under any other imaginable circumstance?

It just... went on and on and on... it was crazy... As much as I love that show, I was totally lost with what was going on. Did anyone else see it?

Ya know, I would have been irritated if Sunjaya had won, but he was hardly the worst singer ever on American Idol. He was not so bad that he deserved all that media attention. But when I went to the grocery store the other day and Sunjaya was on the cover of a magazine (TV Guide?) there were little kids in line who were going crazy over his image. They LOVED him. The fact is, he needn't have cried last night. He'll be showing up on Nickelodean or Disney as soon as his AI contract is up. He'll probably end up one of AI's biggest (non-singing) stars.

Okay, I want John R. AND Clyde Drexler to win. Actually, I just want them both to come over for dinner and drinks, and you know those two would get along. And so goes my imaginary world where I actually invite people over and cook for them and the people I invite just happen to be from Cheers and the NBA.

Cliff!!!!

I am watching Dancing With the Stars for the first time ever (on tape of course because I certainly wasn't watching it last night) and I have to say I'm going to be rooting for John Ratzenberger the whole way. Hmmm, I may even have to actually vote.

I hate that AI has this rule where it has to be equal boys and girls... because I would rather listen to any of those girls than any of those boys. Some of those girls sucked (Haley) but none of those boys were close to them. I would HATE to see some of those girls go home to make room for any of those boys.

Don't worry, I have been studying my little heart out for Spanish while I listened - I was not distracted! ¡Yo no fui distraído en todo! ¡Prometo!

Also, I love the head shot that IMDB has up for Isaiah right now. Check it out. That can't be a coincidence.

*cough**bullshit**cough*

So Isaiah Washington is in "treatment" for saying the "f****t" word.
What happened to just saying "I'm a jerk and an idiot and shouldn't speak in public just like Katherine Heigl said because I seem to have no thought process between my brain and my mouth. And I'm very very sorry. Because I'm a jerk and an idiot."

Talk about not taking responsibility for your actions. I suppose it's some childhood trauma, some deep seated long repressed memory that caused his stupid multiple slips of the tongue. So he needs "treatment".

I suppose I should send Buffy to treatment every time she lets the S word slip in front of her friends, eh? Because it's some unconcious psychological issue that makes her say it, and has nothing to do with the fact that she never ever slips up in front of a teacher or her grandparents.

We have control of our language, People. Say it or don't say it, but take responsibility for it.

~~~ Also, I started school today and I'm happy but exhausted. I owe people emails. They aren't going to come today. Good night.

Gawd Donald, just shut the hell up already. Why am I watching this show? Oh yeah, because it's good up until Trump hits the screen and opens his mouth - and your little kids are jerks too.

How awesome would it have been if Michelle had just interrupted him, stood up and said "Shut the fuck UP already, I said I quit! I would NEVER work with a stupid jerk like you!"

It's the rest of the stupid guys there who are left who now look like idiots. Yeah, keep shivering in your tents, you are SO much better than she is. Right.

Just turned on CSI right now, and the opening scene set on the Strip of Las Vegas was a headache waiting to happen. Ugh. I really don't want to see that city again for a long long time.

I swear, we did have a good time... but 48 hours was QUITE enough for me.

Plus, truthfully? I cannot imagine a less romantic place. It's just... Not. At all.

Television revision

I made the previous post towards the beginning of American Idol last night. And while Paula did continue to appear coherent, clear eyed and awake (which compared to the previous night and her television interviews just helps prove she was definitely on something the other times)...
I take back what I said about Simon. Because Simon was NOT very nice. I mean, overall he gave nicer comments than he usually does, but when they all start picking on the appearance of people... calling one guy a "bushbaby"... I thought they were incredibly mean. And the fact that the show decided to focus on these unfortunate people - who possibly may have had other problems than their looks - and decided to NOT show several people who continued on in the contest... Shame on you, AI. Making fun of people who obviously can't sing is one thing - they came to the audition, and the feedback was overall pretty accurate - but making fun of peoples' appearance and disabilities - None of that was funny. Shame on you!

No Spoiler Zone!

Top Chef: First off, Gosh that was a scary situation with Cliff. To be woken up like that? I had the worst feeling in my gut as they were playing the tape. It was pretty horrible and they really didn't have any other choice than do what they did.

American Idol: Okay, I got sucked in this season. But seriously, how can anyone now deny that Paula is on *something*??? Today, in Seattle, she finally seems coherent... so far... but yesterday she was drunk, straight up. And all the current television interviews... I saw one on our local station and Dudes, something is WRONG with her. It's an insult to viewers and a harm to Paula to keep denying whatever this problem is. That TV show needs to get her some help.

On the other hand, I think Simon is much nicer this year.

Yeah, that's it. Haven't seen much TV this week. School starts next week and I don't wanna go. Wanna watch TV. *stamp*

DVDs: I bought the first two seasons of The Office which I had never seen before. I love that show with all my heart now and have seen each episode about 5 times. And I'm not even close to being tired of it yet.
Also: Jim... (John Krasinski)... is like the sexiest dude, Evah. Oh to be young and living in Los Angeles and able to go stalking...

Movies: Scott and I saw The Good Shepard last night... and were SO DISAPPOINTED. Omigod, that movie is THREE HOURS LONG. Only it seemed like a month long. We thought it was horrible. I'm not going to get into all the reasons why, there were SO MANY reasons why.

Television: Donald Trump makes me sick.

First of all, I'm pissed off that I opened up Yahoo to look at my email when the Survivor finale was barely half over...
And the Yahoo headline told me who the winner was. Thanks for the G--D-MN F***ING SPOILER Yahoo. Fuck.

And then... (spoiler alert!!)
*
*
*
*
*
*
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fucking Yul??? Did Ozzie not win every single challenge? I'm sorry, I'm not feeling the Yul love here. Ozzie deserved that win.

It's finals time and I've been writing writing writing and researching and... procrastinating a whole lot. But it's all over Wednesday (well, all but one paper, but all classes will be over).

But you know what finals time means...

Blogging to avoid writing papers!

So. The Biggest Loser TV show makes me cry, every time. How they lose so much weight in such a short period of time is beyond me - I didn't even know that was possible if you starved yourself. But it's inspiring.

I know you're all way behind in my life, but school (classes) ends December 7. My last paper is due December 15. On December 7, right after class, I drive straight to my gym and sign up for a personal trainer. I will work out every day until school starts January 23. Then I have weight training - in School! - twice a week. I aim to have lost at least ten pounds by then. Then I'll have 40 pounds more to lose by the end of the semester.

I can do it!

I saw a horrendous photo of myself today. I was in the background behind the kids - and I thought I was my mother-in-law. I actually laughed... and then choked my laugh right back down my throat because that was NOT my mother-in-law. GULP.
So, December 7 = Back in shape.

And oh yeah, in case you missed it... :-) ...Scott ordered my ring!

Okay, Dilana is still SO going to win this. (With possible competition from Magni and Lukas)

But I will give it to Zayra, she brought it this week. Scott came over last night and I told him "You gotta see this chick, she's crazy." And then she stands there and sings this beautiful song. Scott wanted to know when she was going to get crazy. Never mind, I told him. And today, again, she brought it and she rocked it. I think she just needs to sing her own stuff, she's not Supernova material, but she does have talent, so I will eat my previous words. Although, um Zayra? You brought all that doubt on yourself.

Bye Bye Jill

Bye Bye Josh. *sniff*

You know those two were standing there going "That bitch Zayra is still standing up there and Tommyhawk is cutting US TWO???"

And I guess I'm going to have to start voting if I want Ryan to stay. That was a close one!

*****

No one but me and Murphy is watching this show, is that right? hee

Rockstar: Supernova

I'm still watching and still loving and still lusting for Dave Navarro. Damn that filthy Jenna Jamison.

I want to remind you all that I called Dilana as winner on the very first show, so when she wins this you all owe me a latte. Murphy will owe me TWO. :-D

I think Josh is pretty good, but not for this band. I also think Lucas could do really really well in his own band.
Against my will, I think Toby does really really well sometimes - not always though, but I think he has a shot, probably Top 3.
I hated Magni's first performance and couldn't get past that through the next few he did, but he's done really well and I think he also has a shot.

I have a super hot Love Crush for Ryan Star that goes past the Lust Crush I have on Dave Navarro, so I call dibs on Ryan. I mean, Super Hot Love Crush. Man.

Zayra. Um. I have nothing more to say about her.

As for the rest of the girls, none of them have any shot at this and I zone out every time one of them comes up to sing (except for Jill, who is almost as much of a train wreck as Zayra, and I love to watch her lose her shit). Face it, Dilana has this in the bag, and only some super performances from Toby, Magni or Ryan will take it away from her.

Back to Dave and Ryan... someone give them my number please...
:-D

BORED.

You know it's bad when the highlight of your day is looking forward to Big Brother.

Design Star comes on HGTV after Big Brother, and that's a good show, and People's Court comes on right before Big Brother, but that leaves 2 hours of nothing until then.

Bored Bored Bored.

Don't wanna read, I'm too tired. But I love the Langston Hughes book. Don't wanna read though. Buffy's at her dad's house for a few hours, Spike is still at camp. Gosh he's been gone forever. Bored Bored Bored.

Actually, this is exactly why I started school in the first place. It would be better though if the breaks were only like one week long. Heh.

It's FINALLY cooled down here, I'm feeling better, and I have not one but TWO final essays due by Friday so you know what that means...

It's time to talk Television! (If you thought I would be typing up an essay, you don't read this blog much)

Before I talk Rockstar though, let me clarify that I do not listen to this kind of music. I have never ever owned a CD by Motley Crue or Guns & Roses, I hate Metallica, and I didn't know enough about Dave Navarro to even know that he played an instrument. But I still love the show.

What sells it for me IS Dave, Gilby, Tommy and Jason. I really love those guys, and I especially love Dave Navarro (Dave, call me, Honey). Yes, Tommy is an immature "douchebag" (per Murphy) but he reminds me of someone I used to love very much. And yes, my love was an immature douchebag too, but I loved him just the same. So anyway, I love those guys, and they love music and it shows. They can also speak in full sentences (well, Tommy has trouble sometimes, but he's HOT so he's excused) and complete, intelligent thoughts. Brooke Burke doesn't even bother me in the slightest.

That said, after clarifying that I don't listen to metal, hard rock, much classic rock, or much of anything with the word "rock" in it unless it's preceded by "pop", let me also say that I do know when people are singing off key. I do know when people are lame (Dana) or frickin DORKs (PHIL). And I do not understand why some of these guys think that arguing with their prospective employers is a good idea.

My favorite? Dilana by far. I think she is head and tails and piercings and razor blades above anyone else there and delivers a complete, professional performance every single time. Would I buy her album? No. But I think she's the best.

The worst?

WHAT THE HELL IS ZAYRA STILL DOING THERE??? I don't even know what to say after that blue plastic performance the other day. Did Supernova say they were looking for an epileptic? She can't get through one song without getting out of breath, she CAN'T SING, she definitely can't dance and she's CLUELESS.

Girl, if Supernova tell you you suck every week, and you end up in the bottom three every week, you CANNOT ARGUE THAT YOU WERE GOOD AND WE ARE ALL WRONG.

*****

Big Brother!

Okay, my biggest complaint is every time there is any All Star show the entire thing becomes only about the scheming. There is no time to get to know anyone, there is just scheming. And since I didn't see Season 5 or 6 I'm at a disadvantage because I don't know half the cast.

That said, Janelle is growing on me, but I still don't think she's as smart as she's given credit for. I think she is smart enough to use what she's got, and there's nothing wrong with that, but superintelligent she's not. Most beloved player? Whatever with a capital W.

James is a weenie and Kaysar is hot but not bright. Chicken George is no longer getting on my nerves and I'm glad he won Veto. I didn't know what to think about Jase, but he's becoming more clear and I hope he goes home this week.

I find Howie the most interesting. I have waivered between hating him and loving him. In real life I could like him from a distance but wouldn't be able to spend much time with him close up, heh.

Will / Boogie. Will is growing on me like a fungus, just like he did in Season 2. Boogie needs to go back to the swamp he crawled out of. And if you think he's cool or sweet or anything but scummy you haven't been watching the live feeds or reading the live feed recaps. He's disgusting.

My vote to win: Will. Yes. Again.

*****

And now maybe I'll write my essays.

I haven't had time to write here because I have a midterm essay due on Friday, but I gotta say that I fucking hate Zayra. And Chris had no chance of winning this, but ya gotta love him anyway. Zayra and Jill have got to go soon.
Especially Zayra, please, cuz I can't take much more of her singing.

Okay, this post is for Murphy.
:-D

I really love this show, it's so REFRESHING to see this show after the mind-numbing boringness of American Idol, which I refused to watch this season. Rockstar has some truly great singers - and some not so great, but nothing as bad as American Idol. I'm not even that big on this kind of music (I know, Blasphemy!) but I am truly enjoying the show. I love the guys from Guns & Roses and Metallica, and Tommy Lee is HOT, and he's always been HOT. I have never ever heard Dave Navarro speak before, and I was really impressed with him. I like him a lot.

My very very favorite singer is Dilana (?) so far, she is awesome.

As for the bottom three last night.... Duran Duran? After f-ing Tommy Lee TELLS you to BRING the ROCK? You bring Duran Duran? Idiot.

Janelle from Big Brother

Okay so I've been hearing a lot of reviews stating that Janelle HAD to be in the All-Star Big Brother because she's so cool, and so smart, and so conniving.

I didn't see that last night. I thought she was incredibly... ...GROSS. But I only saw a few minutes of her. So if anyone else saw her in her season, could you please explain her appeal? I mean, if she truly is smart, then hats off to her, I would love to see a smart, evil, conniving fake blonde on the show, that would be great. But that's not what I saw last night.

Anyone?

Also: I still want to see Allison and Will get together. I want to see Allison play Will. That would be SO great.

Oh How I love Allison! Please let her stay in the house!
And yes Allison, Yes, take Janelle by her fake hair and her fake boobs and drown her in the pool!
Ah yes, this is the quality entertainment I have been missing the last two years!

Big Brother

Okay, I missed Season 5 and 6 so I don't know who a lot of these people are...
The stupid blonde with the big boobs is... stupid.

Chicken George got on my last damn nerve the moment he opened his mouth.

Mike Boogie is a bigger dork than he was before.

And what happened to my beautiful, lovely, evil Dr. Will? His face has changed... he's WAXED HIS CHEST (*BARF*), he needs some SUN... and please oh please... put your shirt back on.

Marcellas... okay.

Danielle... whatever.

Erika I barely remember.

Allison I love. If she and Dr.Will got together this would be the best show ever.

You know Carter from Trading Spaces? I have noticed that he often flirts with the girls on the show, and all I have to say is if he was in my house pulling that shit with me he'd find himself naked on the floor in about two minutes. I'm just saying.

Okay, I really wouldn't say I'm addicted to TV, I'm more using it as a great escape from Reality. Too much going on and only ten days until that house must be ready for people to come see it. And a 750 word essay due Monday and a 6 page research report due 2 weeks later. I went to pay the painters yesterday and they really did do a great job on the house. Also, the house is a lot closer to being finished than I remembered from when we moved the furniture on Tuesday. So that is good. I just have such limited time left - the weekend of May 5 I'm out of town for a wedding, not exactly something I can reschedule. So this is the last weekend I have left... but I was supposed to see Scott, and I should cancel but I haven't seen him in a very very long time (2 months?), and a long distance relationship is one thing, but never seeing your boyfriend EVER is a whole different thing. We are going to dinner tonight. I will have to explain that with an essay to write and a house to prepare, I will have to cancel, AGAIN. Sighhhh... It's not that he'll get mad, he won't, it's more that I really miss him and could use some time with him, but again I still have to write that essay so I suppose this whole thing is pointless, I just have to cancel again. This won't go on forever, right? Eventually we can see each other again.

Okay, so I don't know where that paragraph came from, I totally came here to talk about TV shows. So here we go, here are my current favorites as of this week:

America's Next Top Model: This is so deliciously stupid and silly and high schoolish that it's possibly my favorite show of all time. At the moment. Buffy and I have been driving Spike UP THE WALL as we watch episode after episode that the DVR has recorded. We've now watched all episodes but Season 4. And I have to say, not only were the Season 5 girls the very prettiest of all, but Season 6 still is REALLY a bunch of fuglies in comparison. My favorite contestant was crazy drunk Lisa from Season 5. At first I was horrified by her but face it, her pictures ROCKED and I have no idea why she was cut (I was shocked, SHOCKED, when they sent her home), and she really was never maliciously mean. Just crazy. With a capital C, R, A, Z and Y. And drunk, yes. And I would have killed her if I had to live with her, but as television goes? Lovely. For the record, Buffy's favorite of all time is lesbian Kim from the same season.

Dr. 90120: Buffy and I so love Dr. Rey that we'd probably get plastic surgery just to meet him. Only not. I think he may be a little more of a dick in real life than they're showing, but maybe not, because the editors do a really good job of hiding it. But seriously, what kind of husband doesn't even notice that his wife has shrunk to 88 pounds until she TELLS him??? I think he's probably not a dick, just really self absorbed. But still, we love him. I could still do without the close up shots of surgery, but I really wanted to take a drive to his office in LA and take a picture when we were on vacation. We were close by, but Spike wasn't really having any of it and said he wanted no part of the stalking of Dr. Rey, so I gave him a break. Next time though, pictures galore.

Blow Out: I would never in a million years work for Jonathan as I would probably commit homocide on the job. The guy is so incredibly arrogant and full of himself, but again, great entertainment. And so I record every episode and love it. His salon is another storefront I wanted to photograph on our trip, but no big deal. I would give anything to come out of that salon with hair like he does, but I get the feeling they only do the hair of beautiful people, heh.

The Real Wives of the OC: I kind of really like this show even though I don't really like most of the wives. I cannot stand Vicki, in real life I would avoid that woman at all costs or probably intentionally do something to hurt her feelings. Is that awful? I can't stand fake people and she practically admits she's fake and also... WHAT'S WITH RUBBING HER LOTIONED BACK ALL OVER HER SON'S FRIENDS???? GROSS! GAG! BARF! I try to imagine doing that to one of Spike's friends and my mind won't even GO there. DISGUSTING and NOT a good mother! Her pathetic friend who works with her gets on my nerves too, though I really like her son (the one from juvenile hall) and her youngest daughter. She deserves what she got with her oldest daughter. I think my favorite wife is Jo, mostly because she's totally NOT fake. She is who she is, which is a 24 year old woman - if she wants to party all night, she has a right to, as she's not a 40 year old mother who's trying to pretend she's 24 and single. Her fiancee is a dick and I hope they stay apart forever. Jo deserves better and I have no doubt she'll be a good wife to a man who wants an actual wife, and not a "live in stay at home mom" which is what her stupid asshole fiancee said he wanted. I also love Jeana but they hardly ever show her. And the other one, with the skin cancer? People, if you have been diagnosed with so many melanomas, why would you wear NOTHING but tiny little tank tops and expose as much skin to the sun as possible? Any doctor will tell you that SPF 100 is not going to completely protect you. So while I only dislike her a little, I have no sympathy for the whining if she wants to show off her fake boobs more than she wants to avoid skin cancer.

Top Chef and Next Network Food Star (or whatever it's called): Love them both. Was so relieved to finally see that whacko Steven go home. I loved Nathan from Network Food, but I also loved that Guy won. I would totally watch his show. Also I would totally watch Nathan all day and night if I knew where he lived. There I go with the stalking again.

You see now why I need some time with Scott? Hee.

And that's about it folks.

Since I was in Aptos this weekend I wasn't able to yet O.D. on bad television, but here is the small recap of what I did see:

The Simple Life: I truly hated this show when it was first on, and it's one of the reasons I shut the damn television off. Because like a true TV Junkie, I could not stop watching it even though it raised my bloodpressure and made me want to throw heavy things at the screen. But I tried it again this weekend anyway, watching ONE episode of one of the newer seasons. And while Paris and Nicole weren't as maddenly irresponsible and immature as they were before, the sheer obvious set up of some scenes was. I mean, it can't be "reality TV" if a camera just happened to be waiting outside on the dark abandoned dirt road when they have to bring the truck to a screeching stop because there's a moth in the cab. I mean, this was an obviously set up shot, and if that was, then what of everything else? At least this long break away will allow me to avoid this show from now on.

The Real Wives of the OC: I wasn't really impressed. I'll watch it again, because it wasn't as horrible as some things I've already seen, but watching spoiled, whiny, not-great mothers try to find ways to entertain themselves while not really taking care of their kids and then doing the Wives & Mothers Go Wild thing on their "girls only" cruises and trips to Mexico... I'm sorry, that's just not my thing.

Hogan Knows Best: See The Simple Life, above. Set-up conflicts and scenes. Not my thing.

Tuckerville: I saw this accidentally while at Scott's house, and while Tanya Tucker doesn't interest me enough to watch it again, I did enjoy it. She was likeable, her kids weren't totally UNlikeable, and she reminded me of me as a mother - Although I only watched one episode, so please don't crucify me if she's actually a horrible mother, heh. But if you're into Tanya Tucker, again, I've seen worse shows.

America's Next Top Model (Season 2): WOOOO, I love my dvr that just records everything I like, especially past seasons of shows I never got to see. I got to come home from Aptos last night and watch the entire second season (except for the first couple episodes) which was all recorded and waiting for me. This is the season with Yoanna, and the one where all contestants were a thousand times prettier than anyone on this current season.

So NoTorious: Okay, I never liked Tori Spelling. I never even liked her on the half season of 90210 that I watched oh so long ago. Just, never. However, you have to a tiny bit love a girl who can make such fun of herself and her family. And while I don't think this was the best show ever, it was humorous, and I am all about being able to laugh at yourself. So Tori is a good egg in my book.

And then I had to go to bed. Siiiighhhh....

Short Television Weekend

Since I was in Aptos this weekend I wasn't able to yet O.D. on bad television, but here is the small recap of what I did see:

The Simple Life: I truly hated this show when it was first on, and it's one of the reasons I shut the damn television off. Because like a true TV Junkie, I could not stop watching it even though it raised my bloodpressure and made me want to throw heavy things at the screen. But I tried it again this weekend anyway, watching ONE episode of one of the newer seasons. And while Paris and Nicole weren't as maddenly irresponsible and immature as they were before, the sheer obvious set up of some scenes was. I mean, it can't be "reality TV" if a camera just happened to be waiting outside on the dark abandoned dirt road when they have to bring the truck to a screeching stop because there's a moth in the cab. I mean, this was an obviously set up shot, and if that was, then what of everything else? At least this long break away will allow me to avoid this show from now on.

The Real Wives of the OC: I wasn't really impressed. I'll watch it again, because it wasn't as horrible as some things I've already seen, but watching spoiled, whiny, not-great mothers try to find ways to entertain themselves while not really taking care of their kids and then doing the Wives & Mothers Go Wild thing on their "girls only" cruises and trips to Mexico... I'm sorry, that's just not my thing.

Hogan Knows Best: See The Simple Life, above. Set-up conflicts and scenes. Not my thing.

Tuckerville: I saw this accidentally while at Scott's house, and while Tanya Tucker doesn't interest me enough to watch it again, I did enjoy it. She was likeable, her kids weren't totally UNlikeable, and she reminded me of me as a mother - Although I only watched one episode, so please don't crucify me if she's actually a horrible mother, heh. But if you're into Tanya Tucker, again, I've seen worse shows.

America's Next Top Model (Season 2): WOOOO, I love my dvr that just records everything I like, especially past seasons of shows I never got to see. I got to come home from Aptos last night and watch the entire second season (except for the first couple episodes) which was all recorded and waiting for me. This is the season with Yoanna, and the one where all contestants were a thousand times prettier than anyone on this current season.

So NoTorious: Okay, I never liked Tori Spelling. I never even liked her on the half season of 90210 that I watched oh so long ago. Just, never. However, you have to a tiny bit love a girl who can make such fun of herself and her family. And while I don't think this was the best show ever, it was humorous, and I am all about being able to laugh at yourself. So Tori is a good egg in my book.

And then I had to go to bed. Siiiighhhh....

I will write an entry at another time, but I am really loving my television access - even more than the kids are actually, since they were really used to not having it and after the first day haven't really paid much attention to it.

I have specialized in the most non-quality TV programming possible. Hopefully I will O.D. on it soon, but in the meantime I am just fascinated with all the colorful images dancing on my screen.

The Surreal Life
~~~Tawny Kitaen, what happened to you??? Not that I ever liked you anyway, but... Yeeeesh.
~~~Steve Harwell, I always loved you, always was your #1 fan no matter what anyone said, and now you prove to be one of the only sane people in that house.
~~~Sherman Helmsley, I didn't realize you were still around. I'm glad you are. Kudos for taking this madness on.
~~~Alexis Arquette, I didn't know you existed, but you are hilarious. And better looking than Tawny.

Dr. 90210
~~~~~Except for the entirely too gross, too close closeups of the surgery, I am in love with this show and all its sad, pathetic patients.

Top Chef
~~~~~Food and drama. Better than monkeys.

America's Next Top Model
~~~~~If these are the most beautiful girls in America, then I need to apply for the next season.

American Idol
~~~~~AI, you are one of those shows that really lost its appeal as soon as I stopped watching it. You are a huge, gigantic waste of time. One episode watched, I won't watch any more this season.

My DVR is set to record so much trash in the next week and I cannot wait to watch it. So NoTorious, For Better or Worse, Hogan Knows Best... But also The L Word, Deadwood, Rescue Me...

And I get to watch a regular season of The Amazing Race for the first time EVER! And I can watch Survivor again!

Did ya'll know there's even a SOAP OPERA CHANNEL???

Oh my God.
Oh... My... GOD.

This "diet"... makes me lightheaded just reading it... I can't believe this guy thinks this is even fit to post for the public to see...

A diet... consisting of.... bagels... and water??? Interspersed with "lots of high calorie foods"...

I'm sure, if you're highly obese, that this amount of calories and carbs truly will make you lose weight... just as eating only cupcakes and frosting for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack will make you lose weight... BUT!

But... did this guy ever hear of a vegetable? a fruit? NUTRITION????

I have to stop, my head is spinning, and I just have a lot of trouble believing this guy is as absolutely insane as he comes off on TV - and yet, now he shows himself to be insane even on the internet...

Brent, among all the internet FREAKS out there, you stand out as insane.

Richard Hatch in JAIL, bwahahahahahha.....

Alanis, every time you come singing sweetly over my Launchcast at work my heart swells with love for you, but I still cannot forgive you for going to the Golden Globes looking like this. It's going to take me a long time to get over this, obviously.

Of course, I blame the man in your life.

Here is Jacob's mini-recap (at Television Without Pity) of last night's Apprentice.
If you didn't see the show last night, read the last two paragraphs.
It was so horrifying as to be almost the best show I've ever seen, but still, so absolutely INAPPROPRIATE that this morning I'm wondering if Mr. Trump had been drinking (a LOT) beforehand, or possibly high on... SOMETHING.

Anyway, I am like 50% horrified at the episode, and 50% wanting to shell out $50 for the dvd just for that one episode.

Totally the most absolutely inappropriate Apprentice EVER.
"Have you ever had sex?"
Excuse me???
In California, we have laws against asking that kind of question in a "job interview". I had assumed this was the case across the country.
I was embarrassed and appalled. I really was. Maybe that makes me officially an old lady. I don't care. I thought that was TERRIBLE.

Okay, now that Martha Stewart that we saw today?
Was a Martha I could live with.
Well, on my television screen.

By the way, television is still difficult to get used to. The first advertisement that came on I was all "What the -? What happened to... Oh don't tell me I have to wai- ???" and then me trying to hit the pause button everytime *I* wanted to take a break.

Jeez, television is just too hard I tell you.

And George and especially Carolyn.
And that is all I have to say.

Oh, and also: BYE BYE MELISSA!!!!!!

Oh, and also? I totally caved to the lure of Martha Stewart Apprentice and managed to hook up an antenna to the TV so I could get that channel, and you know what?

Marth Stewart is a big giant phony dork. And what's with the letter writing at the end? Good gracious. Like any real boss does that when they fire someone. And if my boss did send me a note? I would hope it was professionally typed and not scribbled in that scrabble that is her handwriting.

Also? Advertisements suck, and it sucks that I can't pause TV like I can a dvd. I have been spoiled without TV, folks.

But I did turn it off as soon as Martha was over, and I'll only have it on tonight during The Apprentice. TV pretty much sucks, really.

Good Night Little Buddy, you kept me company on many an after-school afternoon.

Old TV Shows

For all you poor Canadians who weren't able to watch Popular, it was a TV series back in 1999-2000. It followed the popular vs. non-popular students in an almost slapstick-y but serious way, kind of in the "Freaks and Geeks" vein. You can Netflix both seasons that aired. Some of the shows are all right, some are fantastic, and some are just hilarious.

Buffy loves the Mary Cherry character - just an annoying afterthought character in the beginning of the show, but she evolves into a hilarious character.

I love the Nicole Julian character, played by Melissa Etheridge's current girlfriend, Tammy Lynn Michaels. She plays one of the mean popular girls, but she does it in such a way that you just cannot hate her - or you just want to love her AND hate her. Personally, I just want to kiss her. Heh.

Anyway, Canadians and Americans who missed out - it's not a bad show. Netflix it if you never saw it, you may enjoy it.

I should have figured Lanie would know that Buffy was talking about the cast of Popular. Brooke McQueen, Sam McPerson, Harrison, Nicole, Mary Cherry - all from Popular. I give 100 points to Lanie for that.
Buffy LOVES the character of Mary Cherry - and I love Nicole. Love LOVE Nicole. A Lot. A LOT lot.

Heh.

I came across this email to John Stossel on the 20/20 website, and it makes a lot of sense. I would never have a breast augmentation done myself, but then again I think my boobs are fine. And because of this, I never could understand why anyone else would do it. However, this lady makes a good point:

"Hi, John, While I was watching your segment on 20/20 about young women having their breasts augmented, I noticed that your attitude (and that of many men) is negative -- you called it "materialistic and stupid" and asked one young lady, "Why do you want to do this? You look fine." While I was watching this segment, it occurred to me that if men's penises were on display as much as women's breasts are, you men would be getting augmented left and right. If every time you got dressed up in a tuxedo 1/2 of your penis was hanging out (as women's breasts do in evening gowns) or if every time you wore a swim suit part of your "package" was on display, or if women could take a quick glance (the way men can take a quick glance at a woman's chest) to judge the size of your manhood, we women would have to wait in line for breast augmentation while all of the men were getting augmented." Nancy Storrs, Lubbock, Texas

What do you all think, men and women, what's your view on this subject?

You see, it's deals like this that are going to make me go buy a Television set. And then I'll need cable too I suppose, right?

I'm going to erase that link from my memory. Right now.

Okay, OKAY. PEOPLE.

WHO ever leaves the house like this???

I mean, that's too many different layers of rags to even say "Oh I had nothing clean to wear..." because obviously she had too much of SOMETHING to wear.

This girl is very quickly losing it. That very last marble, 'tis almost rolled away.

I really hate that I love the Old Navy Super Skirt commercial... but I admit it, I am addicted.

And I totally want that chocolate brown skirt. Then I too could shake my bum all around. And I would, too.

And Angelina Jolie on NBC Today??? Why can't these things be on when I'm home? Why don't I have a VCR that works? heee.

****

Oh, and YEAH! I totally called it! Arrested Development!! BooYah!

Still watching "Hit Me Baby One More Time"

Okay, I think Arrested Development is my favorite overall.

Anyone else watching this? What's your favorite?

Oh wait, here's Tiffany again and she's reigned in her boobs. Good girl... but wait... is she pregnant?? or just... pudgy? Tiffany, Girl, you are no longer the 16 year old mall singer... Who picked out your clothes???

More "Reality"

Yeah I'm totally going to watch Who Wants to Be a Hilton too, even though I don't watch The Simple Life.

It's a good thing we don't get Fox, heh. My brain would be filled with rot before Summer Session begins.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

Tiffany: "Maybe if I hang my massive boobs in the face of the audience they won't realize I was just kind of a lame teenage mall singer way back before they were ever born..."

Me: "Who would have guessed Tiffany would sound the best of them all so far?"

But Dude, where's the HAIR??

Oh wait, Flock of Seagulls in a baseball cap???? NO WAY!!!
That's just WRONG.

Ooh, Really Lame Summer Reality Show Season!!

Currently watching Hit Me Baby One More Time, anyone else?

Also,

Did anyone see that ballroom dancing Survivor-not-even-close-wannabe show last night?

TOTALLY not what I thought it was going to be, not that I'd been planning to watch it because Dude, it just didn't seem taht interesting, but I never would have suspected it would be THAT lame. And that horrid man from the video shows, aaaaarrrgh!

Well, Spike said he likes the guy. Whatever.

I want the guy from Seinfeld to win. Not that I voted. Because I didn't. And not that I'll ever watch it again, heh.

Oh gosh Loverboy just started singing and I totally burst out laughing. Hilarious! I'm going to love this show! 80's MUSIC RULES!!!!

So...
I'm watching Extreme Home Makeover again, and I don't care, I'm still standing by my opinion that this is a show that does some good in this world. I really don't care about product placement in this show, and I really don't care if 90% of the people in the crowd are just camera-whores. I can even look past the FACT that many of the "designers" on this show are complete ignorami. (If I had a VCR I could totally do fantastic TWoP recaps of this show)
If it takes all that for the network to drum up blind support and a faithful audience so that the show stays on the air and deserving people can get houses, then so be it.
I'll give you this, I really don't know if every family has "deserved" a new house - more than other people do anyway. But for the most part, they do.
So anyway, that's it again.

Remember the pop culture T-shirts they sold on The Apprentice a couple weeks ago?

And when Tana and Alex were selling their "limited edition" "only 300 made" at $42.99 for men's shirts, and women's at $54.99... remember?

Well good thing YOU didn't pay $54.99 for that shirt because now they're at WalMart for $9.96 each.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Of course, you probably don't get Tana's bedazzled diamonds on them, so that probably makes up the price difference right there.

Good lord I want to blow up this picture and kiss it on the mouth.
If I lived in New York I would totally stalk that woman. My love for her knows no bounds. RAAAAWWWRRRRR!!!!!!

(Thanks Itsy!)

Did anyone else see the previews for tonight's Apprentice where they claimed, "It's not the task, it's not the reward, it's not who gets fired... it's WHAT happens AFTER the BoardRoom!" and then an audio clip of Kendra saying "OMIGOD".

So are you now telling me that after a week of those previews the THING that happens after the boardroom is that Chris breaks out in tears?

Oh come ON.

Poor guy.

I'm no fan of Chris, but he's a human being, he has anger/temper/rage issues, but he was never cruel to anyone else. That was kind of a low blow.

So I don't watch TV much since we turned cable off, and I haven't watched ER in years, but I did see it when Cynthia whats-her-name played the lady with the stroke (scariest episode ever, heh) and I've watched it a couple times since, but what struck me was this BEAUTIFUL girl playing Wendall on ER. So beautiful I looked her up on IMDb and what do I see? She's Madchen Amick! My second favorite actress from Twin Peaks, only 15 years older and somehow 50 times more beautiful.

I know, I know, enough with the "beautiful", but this girl entranced me when she was Shelly on Twin Peaks.

So anyway, then I chanced to see "Jake in Progress" and... there she was again, unfortunately only in a bit-part because I'd totally watch that show if she was permanent.

And now I turn on "Joey" because it's spring break and I don't have science tonight and who do you think is guest starring??? Madchen Amick.

She must have found a much better agent, and that's all the better for us because I love this girl. But how did she age 15 years and get more beautiful???

Well. I can honestly say I was not expecting any type of debate or ruckus caused by my comment on Extreme Home Makeover. Heh. And Hee.

That said, T-Man Sam you are very welcome here, and I always enjoy your comments. Always. Also, Everyone was correct in their own comments. Also, being 38 myself, I remember when Bob Barker was my hero and I think my age is what jades me to these emotional displays and I also hate product placement. More than most people.

But I still believe this show is different. Like Mocksie said, I don't care about product placement on this show and I don't care if the EHM people have fake tears - and I'm kind of doubting they do. I don't believe the families are being exploited because a) they wrote and asked for help themselves, and b) they get a much needed place to live out of the deal, and believe me, you can exploit me all you want if you're going to give my family a beautifully furnished house when I am living in a house that's flooded with sewage. (Not my house, this week's family, heh)

These families aren't just needy and on hard times, they NEED these houses. The fact that they don't need so much house (and inside goodies) doesn't matter because the show gets most of this stuff for free. It's donated. And when a company donates so much stuff they deserve to be recognized for it. So that's fine with me.

And yeah, Ty's hot. Ever so hot.

And yes I love the Queer Eye shows and all the makeover shows (excluding The Swan and any surgery type makeover). I've always loved those kind of shows.

And yeah, our health insurance stuff sucks. But we're living with a president half of us didn't vote for. So whatever.

Okay, off to work. You guys continue to fill up my comments.
:-)

Does everyone else watch Extreme Home MakeOver? If you don't, well, I guess it doesn't matter whether you do or not, what matters is that the show exists.

This reality show is everything Married By America and... Gawd, I can't think of the names of some of the worst reality shows I've seen. But this show is everything they are not. Critics have cried that Reality TV is ruining television, and overall, they're right. Most of the shows are crap. Most of the shows have no purpose other than to make the executives money. Shows like Survivor and The Apprentice are at least mildly entertaining, usually, and if you want to watch The Bachelor and think these people are really going to live happily ever after then be my guest. But when was the last time you saw a television show that was just for helping people??

I just love this show more than words can say. I love Ty Pennington, of course, but most of the other people on the show seem pretty real too. At first I used to scoff at the workers' tears week after week, but ya know what? I think they're real. And if they're not? I don't care. Because that family will still get the house that they need.

That's all. I just wanted to say that. Because I don't care if this show makes TV executives billions of dollars. The fact is they are contributing something really good to this world. And I hope the show continues for many years.

Guess who I've been talking to on the phone at work????

STACEY STILLMAN!!!

She's buying a house and we did work there and I had to discuss work related stuff with her, all the while thinking "I KNOW this is that Stacey, I KNOW it! How many Stacey Stillmans are there in the Bay Area?" And our inspector confirmed it.

Wow! The Diary Survivor winner finally (sorta) meets a Real Survivor!

Awesome!!!

Okay, looks like they're actually firing who should really be fired this season?
GAWD what a dweeb he was.

And Carolyn - HOW I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

Okay, LOVED the Apprentice. I'm totally for one of the Street Smart people winning. And I loved everyone! I mean, everyone had their quirks, but it wasn't a group of 15 poeple that you knew were never ever going to set foot in Trump's office and then 3 people who were okay. These were almost all people who are capable intelligent human beings. Hurray!!! Plus... Danny!! Freak!! LOL!

Don't forget, Street Smarts vs Book Smarts The Apprentice starts tonight!!!! I have to quickly write another 1500 word essay before it starts. And I'll be rooting for the Street Smarts crowd. Surprising, since I'm in school? Well, I guess I always go for the underdog. Then again, let's watch tonight before making any decisions. Everyone who watches had better post about it!!!

Did I mention that on my poetry essay I got a 4.0??? That's right, an A+, a PERFECT Score!!! WHOOOOO! Thank you Margaret Atwood for writing that fantastic poem!

Also, how do you spell "rooting"? It seems to me that with that spelling I'd be searching for truffles or something. Hmmmmmm...

WHOA!

The next Apprentice season already starts January 20??

HURRAY!!!

And it sounds GREAT this time.

***** SPOILER ALERT *****

The Apprentice

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Jen was robbed. ROBBED I say. I know she wasn't liked by everyone, but I loved her from the point of the Stacy-Scapegoat fiasco on. Kelly? Kelly just sat back and let people walk all over him!!!!!!!

The Hair. My gosh. The Hair never really bothered me before.... but tonight it bugged me to no end. An orange comb-over on top of white hair??? Come ON Mr.Trump.

Amy - wrong fashion choice.

Troy - Still love ya!

I think that's about it. Still love Carolyn. Still love the show. Just hated the contestants this year.

Except for Jen.

Who was robbed.

Watching ER for the first time in years...

Has it become the reunion spot for teenage actors?

Was that the daughter from "Roseanne" I just saw in a doctors smock?

And that other guy... can't quite place him.

Good night.

The only unsatisfying part about who got fired last night is we will never get to see her totally bomb while being Project Manager.

But that is okay, I will be happy just knowing I don't have to watch her smug little face anymore.

Ya know what I miss about Survivor? Seeing them miserable. Starving. Cold. Yeah, it's horrible, but isn't that what Survivor used to be about? Seeing them suffer? Watching the rain wash the rice away? Watching their shelter burn down? Seeing the bones portrude?

That's what we need. More hungry people.

Oh, is it 8pm on Thursday? I forgot

Is anyone else watching Survivor this season? Because I've missed several parts and some entire episodes and haven't really CARED. I mean, Ami is hot, and Eliza is hot if she'd just shut up, and Brady... well they, *sniff*, voted off Brady... but otherwise... WHO CARES??? These are the most boring bunch of Survivors EVER.

However, at 9pm is the best show ever: The Apprentice

Stupid Maria is immune tonight... but maybe we can get rid of that GAWDAWFUL STACY this time!!

Okay, you know those two who went to the boardroom and did NOT get fired?

I cannot WAIT. Cannot WAIT until the day those two are fired.

And Mr.Trump. Recognize a bunch of catty jealous bitches when you see them already.

Carolyn - Disappointed in you tonight.

Heeee.
That was good.
Good job, Mr.Trump.
Love you, Carolyn!!!

I love it when people make themselves look like asses and then don't even realize it. This episode was Great.

I dunno if I agree with what happened tonight on The Apprentice. While Stacy J is a whacko, she was a whacko a couple weeks ago, she didn't do anything wrong this week. HOW far did Omarosa go last season???
And calling everyone in to vote on her craziness... awfully insensitive, especially with all those UNQUALIFIED people, ya know, I don't think any of them had "Psychiatrist" under their name.
And just the fact that... Donald Trump took a vote. Why couldn't he decide this for himself? Why doesn't he just ask them all in to vote every time? I mean, if he wants a vote, didn't they all vote out Stacy LAST week?
Here you had two very qualified-to-be-fired people sitting right there in front of him, and he let them pick on the one girl who was trying to stay out of the way and do a good job.

Now I'm wondering if they did it on purpose just so we'll watch it on Saturday to see what REALLY happened.

Sighhhh.... Trump, just let us enjoy the show please, I don't want to have to THINK while I watch my 2 hours a week of TV.

Okay, so someone tell me what was the point of that "tribal ritual" thingie where the females were completely excluded??? Point? Anyone? Bueller?

Ten more minutes until The Apprentice starts again!

I have been busy re-working my resume and getting it ready to send out to school districts, there are always non-teacher jobs available that can get me the experience I need. AND I've been doing my homework - Critical Thinking may be the class that kicks my ass, it's quite a load all by itself. Hopefully I can keep all four of my classes and do well also!

But for now, it's an hour break for THE APPRENTICE!!!

By the way, since we don't have cable now and don't get many channels without it, we never watch TV anymore - unless Survivor, The Apprentice or American Idol is on. So we are not stuck in front of the TV every night watching whatever is on. Therefore, I knew Reagan had died because the computer told me so, but I was not inundated with it all week long and I did not have to watch the funeral on TV.

And neither did any of you. Shut your TVs off for God's sake. You'll have a better life. Or "A" life, should I say.
:-)

WOOOOO Fantasia!!!! I was so happy she won, and I was so happy FOR her. She sang that last song, after she won, really really well. And I can't! Wait! to buy her CD!!!

I wouldn't be surprised to see Diana all over Nickelodean and the Disney Channel very very soon. She's going to do just fine.

During the pre-show, when Ryan went to talk to Paula, all I could think about was HOW did she get her boobs to be such perfect upright globes as that??? Real boobs don't look like that Paula, especially when you're 40!!!

I loved to hear Kelly sing again, and it reminded me how well she always did through her whole season, the only bad night she had was when she was losing her voice.

I was glad to see no trace of Justin Guarini anywhere.

Okay.
This is the first season where I really couldn't stand most of the Jury. I mean, you always have your Sue Hawk waiting to make an ass of his/herself, but an entire jury?
I'm not counting Rupert and Jenna in that assessment, but who would have thought that Shii-Ann would end up being the most sensible out of the bunch? "Those who live in glass houses..." So true, Tell 'em Shii-Ann!

And then we have an audience who's even stupider than those fools on the jury. When they started booing Jerri and then cut to commercial I sat there and thought "That was bullshit, I wouldn't even sit and take that if I was her." Commercials over, Jerri's gone. Good for her. I know she's had a hard time cast as the villain, but she's redeemed herself if you've seen her on other shows. I hope she finds peace.

The engagement: I think the last few weeks you could really see that they did care for each other. It got to be very sweet, because you could see that through the paranoia those two really *cared* for each other, I don't think it ever appeared to be a lust thing at all. I hope they make it together, or at least have several happy years together. Same thing for Jenna and Ethan.

Richard Hatch: Still love him.

So now we get to vote for who gets the extra million. I voted. I sat and looked at all the contestants and thought "Who deserves this? I mean, if *I* can't win this million dollars, and I think *I* deserve the million dollars (heh), then who does deserve it?"

I voted for Rob. I don't care if he does get to share Amber's money, I think he deserved the million himself, and I wouldn't care a bit if the two of them walked off with everything. The other jury members were too stupid to stop them when they had the chance (and they had MANY) so I think Rob and Amber deserve it all.

Holy Moly I almost forgot!
Tonight is the Survivor Finale!!!

If anyone besides me is watching it, heh.

Hurray! I can't wait!

(Oh, and those 4 pounds? Lost over 2 weeks, and I am pretty happy with that!)

Well, almost no one was up to singing Gloria Estefan, just as I expected. Even Fantasia couldn't pull it off - though LaToya sounded good, I did like George (he just picked a bad song), and I actually thought Diana was Wonderful.

I just giggled through John Stevens, and hid my face behind a book every time Scott glared at me for making him watch it, haha.

JS was rightfully voted out. But such a great guy, everyone seems to love him, it was a great GoodBye Tape they played, he did suffer through everything with class. Face it, he didn't ask to stay this long, and I don't think he wanted to be here, it was *obvious* he knew he didn't belong. Anyway, he seems like a really nice guy and I wish him well.

Plus his goodbye song was just about his best singing ever, heh.

Well there went my big Survivor hopeful.

As for Shii Ann, she annoys me just for her Blah Factor, but tonight she lost all blahness. She had every right to be a snot. I hope she sticks around to see at least one more person leave.

I guess my hope now is for Rupert to win. He may be a big fool, but he is a loveable guy with not a bad bone in him.

On the other hand... Evil Amber... Playing Rob... I would SO love to see her screw him in the end.

And by "screw" I mean, well, you know.

It's funny, because I wouldn't put it past Sam to offer Trump $250,000 for a job, but I also wouldn't put it past Sam to have a thriving counterfeit operation in his basement, powered by hamsters on wheels. And the hamsters would survive on a new kind of protein pellet that Sam invented himself.

American Idol

So the show is being run by 9-12 year olds this year, eh?

I couldn't stand Jennifer, but for her, LaToya AND Fantasia to be sitting opposite Jasmine, John and Diana...

That's just stupid.

Our favorite phrase we kept shouting last night:

"Shut up, Omarosa!!!"

Heh...

Crazy Sam... Donald took the money! HAH!!! I hope he does bring Sam back next season, I loved watching him.

But no, Donald, No. I know there are people we love to hate on Reality TV, but I don't think I can take any more Omarosa. And why reward her for her behavior? DO NOT BRING HER BACK.

*****

And now I am off to Aptos and...

I GET TO WATCH KILL BILL II SATURDAY!!!! HURRAY!!!!

I could not see that American Idol was on anywhere here on the West Coast, so I have no idea who left! Who was bottom three and who left???

Also - The Apprentice - WHOOOO! That was GREAT. Of course, we liked them both so it didn't matter who won. I'm happy for both of them.

"Hi, I'm Jon Peter Lewis and I can't sing, so I found a song I can dance to that only requires me to yell the same three notes over and over! How are you?"

Actually, I did enjoy his performance tonight. But other nights? No.

Fantasia gave me chills. From the very beginning, through to the end. Gosh darnit now SHE'S my favorite to win!

Diana - Big mistake with that song, Bye Bye to you!

John Stevens - I'm glad he got his moment to shine, I don't think he'll last much longer, but I'm glad he got this performance in before he leaves.

And Quentin Tarantino went up there and showed himself to be the biggest dork EVER. Wow.
(Buffy: "HE wrote Kill Bill? Are you sure??")

Tarantino - Yeah Baybee

American Idol on tonight!
With Guest Judge Quentin Tarantino!
I'll be watching!!

Oh HAHAHAHAHAHA

So it's not the first time she's heard those words, huh? I'm betting it won't be the last either.

While we're on the Thursday Night HATE (Someone please tell me Omarosa was putting on an ACT last night and is really not, as a grown woman, THAT irresponsible, delusional, psychotic and a complete BITCH as she made herself look????),

anyway,

I really really wish the Survivors would vote Big Tom off my TV screen forever. That man annoys the crap out of me, if I knew him in real life I'd never go near him, he gives me the heeby-jeebies.

But besides that, I still really don't care who wins. If I had to vote I'd place it on Alicia.

Probably because she annoys me the least.

WHAT is WRONG with that woman???? I would have fired her and gone on without her, just two employees. Having her anywhere near your company is like pulling the plug yourself.

How is that woman ever going to get a job in the real world after this show???

(See? I didn't spoil it if you didn't see it, heh)

I'm off to work with my sniffly nose but I just want to make one comment about American Idol last night:

I want George Huff to win.

I just love that guy. He can sing, I would buy his album, he smiles, he looks happy, and he has Personality.

I love Fantasia too, and I think LaToya sings beautifully, and Jennifer Hudson can sing when she wants too, but when you look for a whole package? I want George.

Now I am off to work.

Also...
The Apprentice!
AAAGH!
NOOOO!
Not him! NOOOOOOO!!!!!

See, I am being nice to people who haven't seen it, and did not spoil it.
But... *sniff*... he was supposed to WINNNNNN!!!!!!

But you can also buy an "I Hate Omarosa" t-shirt, too, just so we know all is right with the world.

I won't, I swear

So umm... you can buy Trump Ice on eBay now...

I'm not going to bid. I'm not. No really, I'm not. Maybe you could just close your eyes for a second though, or look over there for awhile...

No Survivor Tonight?

Wait, the next Survivor episode isn't until April 1? Is that right?

Well at least we have The Apprentice today!

Tonight we had to watch The Apprentice again... ByeBye Omarosa... Delusional KooKooPants...

I am missing the 9-9:30 part of AI, but I just wanted to say I just lost all my Katie love. Dude, she was horrid.
Love Love LOVE George Huff. He can go all the way as far as I'm concerned. And I liked Susie. Otherwise, no one made any impression on me.
But like I said, I'm missing this half hour, heh.

Okay, off to bed and Scott.
;-)

Best. Apprentice. Ever.

Survivor: Who knew Sue was a quitter? That made me mad. On one hand I can kind of see her point, on the other hand, she was a strong woman who gave as much as she got. I'm not quite sure what happened there. I think if I had been on that beach I'd be standing behind her trying not to laugh behind my hand while she was raving about her sexual violation. Which may sound wierd coming from me after that last diary rant, but she's a grown woman who basically egged Richard on. I'm not saying she "asked for it", but being an emotional drama queen and then quitting was not the way to go about it.

The Apprentice: I was hoping she'd go down in a "flaming ball of failure and humiliation" (as a friend posted on a message board) but to have the flaming ball of humiliation AND crying? I never, EVER, would have thought she would cry. NEVER. But just as I predicted, she was oblivious to it all, blaming it all on their non-understanding of diversity, etc. blah blah blah. Shut up and get off my TV.

Next week: Bring it on, Caroline!!! I can't WAIT!!!

I lied, I won't write today. I'm very comfy sitting here eating my grilled cheese sandwiches and looking at my new cute shoes and I don't feel like typing.
Plus, Survivor starts in 1/2 hour and then THE APPRENTICE, my very favoritest show in the whole world right now.

Heh, did ya'll see Katrina lose all her marbles last week? Loved it.

P.S. Itsy, I love you, and all the other whiners too. All us whiners have to stick together, ya know.

Aw stupid Survivor, making me bawl like a baby again!

Damn the networks for putting Survivor and The Apprentice up against each other!

I watched the first half of Survivor - I love Rudy but he wasn't going to help win challenges, who didn't see that coming?

Switched to The Apprentice - HATE Heidi. Still love Nick... and Bill... And Troy... and Kristi too and Amy... What was up with Jessie????? BackStabber!!!

Switched back to watch Rudy's manacing GoodBye speech, heh, Go Rudy...

Switched back to Hate Heidi some more.

I wish the old TV had a remote control, haha. My butt has gotten lazy!

Yayyyy for Antennas

I am very very happy about our antenna. Like Monica, most places I've lived in San Jose worked like kryptonite on TVs, if you didn't have cable you couldn't get any channels. At our last house we had free cable, so this was the first time in 10 years I've had to pay for it. (Ah, memories... there is nothing worse than having your cable shut off while your 3 year old is watching Muppet Babies)

Anyway, Kim told me to get an antenna and since she is my official advisor for the year 2004 I got one and it works. Not on the good TV, like I said, but it does work on the old one and that's all that matters.

I am SO excited that we get to see Survivor and The Apprentice tonight!!!

Also, I got one of my tax refunds in direct deposited right into my account today. $1169 for me. I am paying Comcast what I owe them and then I'm telling them to fuck off.

The antenna is hooked up to a very old TV in the front room now. It wouldn't work on our nice TV because it's set to "Cable" and (long story short) I can't change that. Anyway, we now get channels for American Idol, The Apprentice and Survivor. Also, the news. Pretty much the only shows I watch except Trading Spaces and some MTV shows.

We can now cut out our $40/month cable bill. Holy Moly and Hallelujah! We are FREE! I made a deal with the kids we would do without for one year, until our loan is paid off. They are happily playing PlayStation, we are buying a PlayStation 2 with our eBay money ($120 so far!) and we still have most of our Reality Shows.

Comcast can go fuck themselves, and good riddance to their telemarketers. I am SO TIRED of them calling me all weekend long.

And now, I am off to watch American Idol.

We are the proud owners of a shiny new $19 antenna for the TV.

Janet's Boob

Any more questions about this being an accident?

Warning: graphic pic

Cable Guy came to turn off the cable today, causing Buffy to call me (from home alone) TWICE to tell me what he was saying. He wanted a credit card payment or he was going to turn it off, I told her tell him I'd pay it on Friday, she called back and said it had to be paid now or he'd turn it off, I told her tell him to turn it off then, I'll have money on Friday, she called me back AGAIN and said he needed a credit card payment or he was turning it off.

Now. What is a grown cable guy doing on my porch arguing with a 11 year old girl about a credit card? The battery in our cordless phone was dead so she couldn't bring him the phone to talk to me and at least she wasn't letting him into the house (Buffy needs to learn a lesson quickly about opening the door for strangers) but OBVIOUSLY she doesn't have a credit card and OBVIOUSLY her mother wasn't home.

So turn off the damn cable already and leave the porch. I can live for a week without TV, really I can, and after we pay everything with the tax money we won't ever be late again, but the more I write about this the more pissed off I am that he was harrassing my DAUGHTER. A KID.

I may have to call Comcast tomorrow and complain.

Meanwhile, we have a DVD player and a Playstation. And a computer and plenty-O-books. We are entertained. If it wasn't for The Apprentice I may not even get the cable turned back on.

Am I the only person who didn't know that All Star Survivor starts tonight???
Thanks to Anenigma and Murphy I won't be the only one who didn't see it,
Thanks Guys!

You know what else? I cannot wait for the women to go to The Boardroom.
Ya know how the men go and all gloves are off and everyone is accusing and not so nice to each other?
Imagine when the women finally get there. I envision all sorts of catty comments and bitchy speeches...
And of course lots and lots of tears and hugs when one of them gets fired.

Then the show will REALLY get good.

The Apprentice

I have a theory on why The Apprentice is so popular (I know not everyone loves it but I do and lots of others do too).
The thing that turns me off on so many reality shows is that they fill them with all these beautiful people who have no brains and never had to learn how to act nice. Plus, anything that involves finding the love of your life on TV really turns me off.
But while The Apprentice is filled with 80% Beautiful and 20% Average Joes, they all have brains. They were chosen because somehow, in some way, they became successful and have some sort of intelligent qualities in them.

Which isn't to say that smart successful people cannot be idiots. Because they are. And so that's why I love this show. They may be beautiful (I'm looking at you Amy, Troy and Nick!) but they are also smart, successful and interesting. And it's fascinating seeing how these people act/react with each other. I totally hope Donald Trump puts on another season.

"My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance - Djb's not trying to editorialize or anything, but he just finds it sadly ironic that gay couples aren't legally allowed to wed on the basis that it would pose an immoral challenge to "the sacred rite of marriage." In a completely unrelated story, a new show premiered on Fox this week."
That was my thought when that very first Darva Conger whatever-the-heck-her-name-was show came on.
And yet I don't hear anyone protesting these weddings like they do a same-sex marriage. Gays want to marry because they LOVE each other, Camera-whores want to marry... for the money? I don't even know.
I just don't get it.

Watched American Idol - I wasn't really impressed with anyone. Yeah, there were a couple good singers, but anyone that stood out? No. Anyone whose album I would buy? No. Hopefully the other cities will have better choices.

And let's hope there are no more Scooter Girls.

Average Joe. I only watched the last couple episodes of the first one, and only watched this one because it looked like this girl was going to be a bitch. But instead she was very nice, and I really like the guys. And I would totally date some of them, Mike and that guy... Fredo? the construction worker? I like those guys, they're nice.

These new guys they're bringing in? HATE them. I HATE mean people and I would NEVER go out with someone who was mean like that. I feel so bad for those "average Joes" and am just kind of mad at the show for putting them in that position. I hope the point isn't so we can laugh at their misery, because I'm not.

My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance. I really like it. See, I could totally pull that off if I had to. My parents have seen worse, heh. I can't wait to see more of this one.

The Apprentice. My very favorite show right now. Love the show, love the people, love The Donald. And again, very inspiring. I mean, if these totally unorganized clueless people can actually start their own businesses and be successful, why can't I? I'm telling you, I will, very soon.

Of course, I probably have to stop watching so much Reality TV first, heh.

Hey, did you know Michael Jackson was arraigned today?
No?
Lucky bastards.

To think my bedroom walls used to be plastered with his posters, heh.

Anyone else watch this show?

Cuz it's the Best Show Ever. I am in LOVE with this show.

And Nick is my new boyfriend.

WOOOOT!

Michael J. Fox is going to be on Scrubs!!! I'm going to have to remember to finally watch it!!!

Ya know, I've got my own J-Lo ass and I'm proud, but if a guy EVER tells me I've got "some junk in the trunk" they're going to lose an eye.

So did anyone else watch it? I have two comments:

1. Who would have thought Tami Faye could get any worse looking?
Buffy: "But mom, look at her EYES! Why does she do that to her eyes??? What's WRONG with her??"

2. Could Traci Bingham's breasts be any faker? And could she be more of a bitch?

Who would have thought I'd be yelling at the TV "Smack her, Trishelle! Smack that bitch DOWN!"

I'm not sure if this link will work for you all, but is this true? CBS is actually airing a special tonight praising Michael Jackson? I know he's innocent until proven guilty but isn't this awfully inappropriate until matters are cleared up?
I wonder how much the Jacksons paid CBS to air this.

Happy 2004

One of our resolutions for this year is no more TV from 6pm to 8pm. Mainly because I am sick to death of listening to Full House and Sister Sister and Lizzie McGuire when I get home from work. And so far so good. The kids have been playing cards on the floor while listening to Dave Matthews Band for the last two hours.

UncleBob told me he was going to recap The Surreal Life again in January so I just checked out who the "celebrities" were going to be.
I have GOT to watch the show this time.
Tammy Fay Bakker?
Erik Estrada?
Ron Jeremy?
Trishelle!!
Oh this is going to be WAY better than those rotten girls in Simple Life.
Trishelle's going to be sleeping with one (or more) of those guys, guaranteed.
My kids will NOT be watching this show, heh.
Ohhhhhhh, I cannot wait.

Trista and whathisname have sold their honeymoon pictures to the Star.
Looks like nothing is sacred or private to them.
I guess Trista better get herself knocked up pronto or pretty soon the cameras will be gone and it will be back to the normal life.

I cannot WAIT to see a Where are they now? show starring them, which will at least mean that we've been wondering.

Ya know, I really liked The Newlyweds, Jessica Simpson's show.
It's possible she's just been sheltered all her life, and because she's pretty and talented no one's going to care if she sleeps through school and turns out dumb as a board,
And because she is beautiful, and somewhat talented, we forgive her and laugh and giggle as she bumbles through life.
But,
Recently she's been trying to parlay this new dumb-blonde reputation into some kind of Chrissy Snow act. On some horrid Christmas special the kids forced me to watch tonight she told the camera "Happy Easter!"
Oh Ho! That's funny! Jessica thinks it's EASTER, HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Not.
Not funny.
Being stupid on purpose isn't funny.
She's just going to be acting dumb on her show for Season Two and it's not going to be as silly and entertaining as it was for Season One, it's just going to be dumb.
I really dislike her right now.

So what are Trista and whatshisname going to do now?
Get jobs I guess.

I can't believe she's so excited at the helicopters at her wedding.

Oh, so his name is Ryan. I feel sorry for you, Ryan.

Trista's Wedding

There IS such a thing as too much pink.
And too many flowers.
And that was TOO many flowers.
Just a media circus, really, yeah that's what I call a sacred union of two souls forever and ever, right.
MOCKERY, ladies and gentlemen, that's what that was.

Nicole Richie

According to The Smoking Gun, Nicole Richie not only was busted for heroin possession and driving with a suspended/revoked license, but she's 5'2" and 90 lbs.
90 lbs?
I kinda doubt that.
Paris, maybe.
I think Nicole weighs a bit more.

Also, Shania Twain? You could afford to eat a cookie or two.

Beyoring

Beyonce wins the award for poorest use of 100 Beyonce look-alikes.

What the hell was that??

For those of you not watching, you are NOT missing much.

Ms.Hilton

Ah, that's nice, I see Paris and Nicole have finally woken up, I'm sure Crack had nothing to do with it. And hey, Paris can READ!
Also, I want her dress.

Also, Ryan Seacrest is an Ass.

Jessica Simpson

I will never watch another show hosted by Jessica Simpson again.
I do NOT need to hear any more about her having sex,
PLEASE,
This girl shouldn't be having sex in the first place.
STOP THE SEX REFERENCES PLEASE!

BillBoard Awards

Forget Brit Spears, Pink has the BADDEST body ever. I would LOVE to have that body.
And what could Pink have possibly been doing to have the FOX NETWORK completely black out the screen 3 times? The FOX network???
Or was it only the Bay Area station? Did ya'll get to see the whole thing?

Plus, Triumph the Insult Dog is just waaaaaaay over.

OH! And Jessica Simpson? Done. No more, Please.

I just saw the FUNNIEST commercial for Crescent Jewelers, this girl is standing outside on the ground with a megaphone yelling up at a balcony,
"JESSIE! ASK ME TO MARRY YOU! NOW!!!"
I don't know, it was cracking me up.

I already cannot wait for the final Survivor. You know Rupert's going to give an awesome speech. Sandra's gonna kick Jon's ass. Christa will kick Sandra's ass. Madness and Mayhem... I gotta go start planning the party right now...

From Television Without Pity (My Favorite):
"I can hope to win this and get some more information," Jon blubbers. Darrah looks teary. Lill clutches Jon's hand. Sandra looks at him, thinking precisely the following:
"Like hell your grandmother died, you creepy little lowlife toad."

hee hee heeeee
(I Love Sandra too, she's probably my favorite)

Survivor

It's starting to worry me that I'm beginning to really like Jonny Fairplay. I dunno, his deviousness just really appeals to me. And last night I was getting grossed out because after his shower - I thought he wasn't that bad looking!
I wanted to smack myself!
("No Pischina! *smack* Grody! Don't Look!")

I need to adopt that little boy that lives on the Farm. And Tinkerbell is coming with us too.

Okay, I can't help it, I'm cracking up.
Television W/O Pity still has the best recaps, but PlanetSocks has really been improving lately.
The following:
"Jon's loved one is his buddy Dan, who shows up doing that stupid two-finger thing. They hug and have the following conversation:
Jon: "DUDE!"
Dan: "DUDE!"
Jon: "DUDE!"
Dan: "DUDE!"
Jon: "GRANDMA?"
Dan: "DEAD!"
Jon: (starts crying)
Jon emotionally tells everyone that his sick grandmother passed away. It's the worst reality-show related acting since From Justin to Kelly, yet everyone buys into it (unlike From Justin to Kelly)."

I'm sorry, I *still* think it was hilarious.

Okay, watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade,
And the Rockettes?
Are just DUMB.
Even Spike was booing.

Target

This Target commercial with the two drummers...
That's the drummer from the Donna's, no?
Chip, am I right?
And then who is the bald guy?

Survivor

I'm reading the Survivor Boards this morning and it is just cracking me up that people are So! Outraged!! about "Jon's Lie". Come on Guys, it is a Game, and it's a game that Richard Hatch taught us a lot of lessons with.
OF COURSE what Jon did was morally reprehensible.
Is it more reprehensible than Sandra letting Christa take the fall for the fish?
Is it more reprehensible than Lill lieing to Rupert's face about voting him out?
I think not.
And besides, now when the kids and I have our Survivor Party it will be the Best! Ever! when we watch Sandra kick Jon's ass all the way back to Panama.
Of course, Sandra's going to get her own ass kicked when Christa gets hold of her.
Personally I would be MUCH MORE offended and angry to find out a friend let me take the blame for throwing out fish.
So yeah, I thought it was hilarious last night. You can hate me for that all you want, you can threaten to take your votes elsewhere, but that doesn't change the fact that last night was the best Survivor EVER.
:-)

Buffy is having a FREAK attack after watching that CSI re-run, where the old lady is being munched on by her cats? And then it turns out the neighbor 8 year old killed her?
"Tattletales burn in HELL." said the girl to her younger sister.
Buffy is FLIPPING out right now. She just cannot get over that kid.
"Oh my gawd, I'll never forget that!" she just exclaimed.
Heee.

Survivor

The BEST Survivor EVER.
And yeah, generally I hate Jon,
But the evil side of me (and it's quite an evil side) LOVED what he did.
PERFECT.
The entire show was just fantastic.
Except that those idiots let Burton walk another 3 days,
Just when do they expect him to lose immunity again?
That was their only chance, and Tijuana was no threat at all.
Overall though,
A+

Okay, but the best friend Jamie?
Hate her.

Rich Girls

I really want to be Tommy Hilfiger's daughter,
I really really do.

Some Choice

Buffy wanted to watch "Final Destination" on dvd AGAIN,
But I am all Final Destinationed out
So I offered up "An American Idol Christmas".
I was thinking it's the lesser of two evils,
But now that it's on I'm wondering if I should have gone for the dvd, heh.
The Christmas CD is one thing, but watching these guys on TV is just not as fun without Simon critiquing.

Dharma & Greg

The very first episode of Dharma & Greg is on TV right now.
It's funny how EXACTLY alike Dharma and Scott's lives are.
I am the new Dharma, hehee.

Linda is a cock-a-rrrrroach!
heheheheeeee

"Joe Millionaire"

Okay, first of all, I loved Kat, and I wanted him to pick her.
But GOOD GOSH ALMIGHTY
That looney tunes Linda left him TWICE and she still gets the ring and money TOO?????
It should have been Kat hiding in that ranch.
I hope he's ready for Linda to leave every few months or so
"Oh I was so scared but then... I felt him calling to me... so I come back!"
Stupid Stupid Stupid Man and Stupid Stupid Show.
Although,
Okay,
I was REALLY happy that he got the ranch.
Really happy for him.
I'm such a sap.

December 2
Must Remember to watch this!!!!

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