So I decided to escape my motherly duties of running around town helping Buffy get her Halloween costume last night and instead sent her out with her brother and my bank card. I told her brother that if he was able to complete the mission (outfit her like Coraline) I'd give him a cash bonus.

Before they left I asked Buffy exactly how much she thought this costume might cost. This was of course a huge deal, how is SHE supposed to know??? "All I need is a yellow raincoat and boots. And long socks. And a blue wig. And a dragonfly hairpin." Well, so it's going to cost me LESS than $100, RIGHT? I don't want this costume costing $100!! "No, of COURSE not."

So today I asked how much it cost.

$80.

And she hasn't even gotten the wig or the dragonfly barrette.

Because she went to Target and got an ACTUAL yellow WOOL coat, and fancy shmanchy rainbow rain galoshes, and pretty sparkly wool knee socks.

"You said don't spend $100."

Sometimes it costs much less just to do things yourself. And you would think I would have learned by now to set exact limits.

Buffy must have hypnotized me with her Mommy-Story-Lovins last night because the only other thing I remembered getting her were some ugly t-shirts she wanted from Target. But just now I remember totally losing my mind and okaying the purchase of a ballerina dress for SCHOOL yesterday - a dress that is basically just a sleeveless black leotard with a tutu attached. For school. I thought this was a good idea.

See?

I remember telling her she had to wear a sweater or something with it, but I don't really remember my reasoning behind the decision to purchase.

I wasn't even drinking, I SWEAR.

Except that, if my mother had bought it for ME, I totally would have worn it. But there's no way my mom would have let me wear that to school, heh. In fact, I remember seeing it on the rack and wanting to pull it out for her, and then thinking "Buffy would NEVER wear this," but then I found Buffy later and she was going into the dressing room with it.

So I think what we have here is another example of like mother like daughter. I mean, obviously this is what has caused all our fights through the years, we're just too much alike. But in this case at least, I can smile and enjoy her quirkiness.

She also started bitching about a store sign that had totally wrong grammar. Yeah, she's not like me AT ALL.

Took Buffy to Macys for some school shopping today, and while she looked at hideous Juniors fashion I wandered around the jewelry department. Found this silver necklace with a heart pendant. On the front was engraved "My favorite stories begin with..." and when you turn it over it says "One time my Mom and I..."

And I thought that was the most charming thing I'd ever seen. I brought it over to Buffy to show her and she AWWWWWed it right away. I asked her if she had good stories about me and her and then she laughed and said it reminded her of what her friends always say. "Almost every day someone will say something and then I'll tell them, 'No, that's not true, my Mom says...' and then all my friends get mad and say 'SHUT UP about your MOM, every day it's MY MOM MY MOM MY MOM,' hahahaha!"

And so I awwwed back at her and gave her a big hug.

The necklace was $80, but it was 50% off. So I bought it. And I guess there was some other discount because it ended up only like $31 total.

And she loved it and gave me a big hug.

Spike got a job today! With typical lazy boy logic instead of walking down the block to turn in the fifteen applications he had actually filled out, he took a job offered to him by a friend of his father - all the way in Palo Alto.

And he has to be there at 7:30am every day.

And wear a tuxedo for a uniform.

As he works outside.

AAAHHHAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAA

Am I a bad mother to think this is so funny? Seriously, this boy's life is about to turn upside down. He's been on permanent summer vacation since Circuit City went out of business. He sleeps until noon and goes to bed at 3am. Let me repeat:

AAAHHHAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAA

What's the job? He's going to be a parking valet from what he told me, but after researching the company and because he's reporting to work at Palo Alto Medical Center I believe he may actually be driving one of those vans around.

If he's a valet DO NOT GIVE THIS BOY YOUR KEYS. If he's driving a van I ADVISE AGAINST GETTING IN IT.

But he's now employed. I would not take bets that this is going to last more than two weeks, because he's going to have to leave the house at 6:30am and then wear a tuxedo in this 90+ degree heat all day.

AAAHHHAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAA

If he had just walked down his application he could have been working at air conditioned Jamba Juice. This is what laziness gets you.

So the other day when I mentioned that I took Buffy and friends to see the Roller Derby you all should have instantly guessed what Buffy now wants to do.

The day after the bout she was digging in the garage for skates I haven't seen since the house burned down. She actually did find in-line skates, but you need the four-wheel kind for derby.

So her dad got her some. Today she got the skates and she's been skating all over town in them. She can't try out for the team until she's 18 in February, but you know she'll be ready.

I think about what my parents would have had to say if I had asked to try out for roller derby - my mind really can't even process the thought all the way because it's LAUGHABLE that they would ever let that happen not to mention even let me attend a bout. There is no way. I was a girl, I was meant to wear dresses and do girl things.

So I think I live vicariously through Buffy. I mean, I can do whatever I want to now, but I guess I just want Buffy to look back at her childhood and remember that I encouraged her to do anything she wanted to. I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I had been able to do things like try out for roller derby, play water polo, or even have a voice that I could use to state my opinion. I would bet you that I would not have gotten married at 21. At 21, that was the option they expected from me.

So I'm happy for her. Happy that she's a girl, just a girl, just a girl who can do anything she wants to.

And you couldn't stop her if you tried.

I was just making dinner right now and something about the item I was making reminded me of a conversation I had with Buffy a long time ago. I couldn't remember what about the food was making us laugh, I just remember it became an often used phrase for months after.

Finally, I remembered:

Buffy had spoken to some Jehovah's Witnesses at the door that day, as she loves to do, and she had read all the little tracts she was given, as she always does. So she had read about how after Jesus comes back to earth and all the bad people have gone to hell (or wherever it is they are going) then man and animal would all live peacefully together. The lion and the lamb, and man and all the beasts, there would be no more killing.

"Hmmm," I said to Buffy, "I guess everyone will be vegetarians then, you think?"

"What do you mean?" asked Buffy.

"Well if there is no more killing, then we can't eat any animals. We'll all be vegetarians."

Buffy thought about this for awhile.

"You know what that means?" I asked her.

"What?"

"NO CHICKEN TACOS IN HEAVEN."

She looked at me in consternation. "No chicken tacos??"

"That's right, " I nodded wisely. "No chicken tacos."

"I don't think I want Jesus to come any time soon," she said.

And for long after, whenever the subject of Jesus would come up we'd look at each other and say together, "NO CHICKEN TACOS!" and start laughing hysterically.

I'm glad I remembered that.

Also, our chicken tacos tonight were delicious.

Not wanting to shock anyone on the last day, Buffy arrived at school late, as usual.

As she was getting out of the car I realized she was wearing those DAMN SPAGHETTI STRAPS again. I gave her my "I have had it" face, and she "assured" me that it doesn't matter because it's the last day of school and she's only there for two hours.

I remember a last day of school where she got suspended (falsely, it was reversed) and spent the entire day in the principal's office until things were cleared up, so I don't know why she thinks she can break the rules today, but if the school calls I'm not picking up the phone.

One more year until she's DONE.

I've had my mind on other things recently and I might be short on posts for a while. Nothing new there though, eh? Oh, and don't worry, I'm not WORRYING about anything, just have other nice things to think about.

So Buffy went to junior prom on Saturday!!! WEEEEE!!!!! I kind of pushed her into it, she didn't have only one person that she wanted as her date and figured if she went it would just be alone. I told her she should just go with her friends and have a good time - how many chances do you have in life to dress as a fairy princess and just have fun?

So she decided to go, and even got three other friends to go with her - WITHOUT their boyfriends! It was a "Girl's Night Out" prom, at their own choice. I not only loved the idea, I loved that these four girls had enough confidence and self assurance in themselves that they made their own choice to do something on their own, against society expectations, and just have fun indepentently as friends. They all had boyfriends, and they all decided they didn't need those men for this particular night. PROM NIGHT. How many 16-17 year old girls do you know who are willing to leave the boys at home to go have fun together?? On PROM NIGHT??

So the four of them dressed in their best Junior Prom dresses and off they went. None of us knew in advance, but the prom was held outside under thousands of fairie lights (California RULES), with some sort of "Egyptian Rave" theme. They were all given glow sticks, there was plenty of catered food there, Buffy said it was all techno dance music - and when she spoke to me the next morning she said she had the time of her life.

She wore her short little white fairie dress with white fishnets and high heels. She ended up losing the shoes early on (I figured she would) and danced the entire night away with her friends. She said the time just flew by and couldn't believe it was over.

And now I don't have to encourage her to go to Senior Prom - she's already planning for it!

I love that girl. I love that independent, head-strong, confident girl. She really is going to go far in life.

Pictures are on Flickr - just scroll past the first couple pictures that are from Mother's Day, you'll know the prom pictures when you get to them. She had money for formal pictures at the prom, but they didn't want to "waste time" standing in line so they didn't take them. And so... these pictures are all we're getting.

I think she and her friends were beautiful - don't you?

"Thanks for being a great Mom," said Spike.

"Thanks for not killing me in my sleep," said I.

"Fair enough," said Buffy.

"You're welcome," said Spike.

I love my family. We are great together.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pischina/3516473089/

Buffy ready for Prom

Posting pre-prom photos to http://www.flickr.com/photos/pischina/ one by one... get ready...

Wednesday I am taking Buffy to see Wicked in San Francisco, and we are both really really excited. I hope we don't get lost.

We're also going to see No Doubt at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in July. I love No Doubt so so so much. I am really excited about this, even though we'll be on the grass and Gwen Stefani will not be identifiable she'll be so far away, but they have giant film screens, so that works out.

THEN, we're going to see Pink at the HP Pavilion on September 17. I am REALLY looking forward to that one, I think it's going to be a GREAT concert, and I LOVE Pink, and we have third row seats. Hurrah for advance purchase codes.

I might need to get some friends to take with me sometimes instead of my daughter. I'll work on that next.

So Buffy cleaned up Spike's bathroom today, because she was sick of the grossness inside, but when she finished, it turns out his bathroom is just a plain white boring bathroom. So she asked if we could go to Target to redecorate. Spike said fine, I said okay.

HEEEEEEEEE.
What person in their right mind lets Buffy redecorate their room?

Here are the pics. Not that she did a bad job, I personally kind of adore it, but Spike's response was to rub his eyes.

The boy went to the mall (3 miles away) and dropped off applications to all the stores. And then he came home.

Yeah, I can see how he would need more than $5 for gas.

Better boy

Son has been acting much more quiet, meek and mature today. Asked very nicely if he could get a haircut before his job hunting. I said yes. Perhaps he's finally figured out that I am done putting up with his nonsense. So So Done.

And who would have thought we'd ever see the day that I would prefer the girl's company to the boy's? hahaha...

Actually I DON'T have "stupid" written on my forehead

The boy actually asked for gas money so he could go look for a job today. Awww. Good boy. I gave him five dollars.

"Five dollars? I can't really look for a job with just five dollars."

Why not??? Five dollars is a good 40 miles worth of job hunting. Just how much job hunting you think you can do in one day?

"Well, more than this. *SIGHHHH*"

I don't really know who this boy is any more. It's like he's becoming more and more like his father every day. I'm not giving him more than $5. More than $5 can be spent on other things besides gas for job hunting. So, No.

SUCH a baby, I swear.
He has been asking me to help him with his taxes, you know, that easy form that we all wish was our problem. But he asks me when I'm in the middle of work, so I have been telling him, "We'll do them on the weekend." And then he's gone on the weekend. My own taxes, which need to be done by a professional, have sat here while I tried to meet graduation and application deadlines. Priorities, ya know. So tonight comes, and nothing is done, so I pulled out the extension forms and filled them out, mine AND my poor helpless 18 year old son's. And at 10pm I handed him the envelope, addressed and stamped, AND printed directions to the main post office that's open till midnight.

He grumbled and griped about how "This is why I wanted to do them earlier." Look, it's not MY responsibility to get your taxes done Boy. No one did MY taxes when I was 18. I had those things done all by myself and mailed off in January when I was 18. So he stood there arguing with me about how I SHOULD HAVE DONE THEM EARLIER. I got quiet angry.

"I'm not going to argue with you Spike. Take them to the post office now, they're due in two hours."

At 10:45 the phone rings. It's Spike. "I can't do this, this line is like three miles long."

Me: What do you mean you can't do this? They're due at midnight. Get in line and mail them off.

Spike: Mom. This is why I wanted to get them done earlier! I don't want to sit in this line!

Me: It's not MY job to do your taxes Spike, and I just sat here and filled out your own 18 yr old self's extension, so you get your ass in that line and you mail them off or there's going to be trouble, get it? GET COMFY.

*click*

Buffy just came home from her dad's house with her face covered in poison oak. And calamine lotion. EWWWW. Gross.

Nice way to go to the Britney concert, heh.

After this morning, fearing I was going to go bankrupt over the whole prom dress thing, I now feel like I won the lottery.

First we went to Betsey Johnson, which does have some really beautiful dresses. And Buffy, though she sometimes wears dresses, dresses more in a "hippy" style and never very formal. So the sight of some of these dresses on her was quite spectacular. I think she was also pleased. Unfortunately, the dress we all fell in love with was $475.

Now, I HAVE $475. But... I really didn't want to SPEND $475. Knowing, of course, that we still have shoes, and hair, and god knows what else, and knowing OF COURSE, that the father isn't pitching in one dime... I was hoping to spend quite a bit less.

So we continued on. Found a lot of pretty dresses at Blossoms, but none were bigger than a size 4. Buffy wears 6-9, depending on the dress. Nordstrom had nothing she liked. So we stopped and had lunch while I digested the idea of spending $475 on a dress she'll likely spill punch on before she even gets to the prom. We had passed through Macys on the way in the mall and they didn't really have anything. So we started heading back to Betsey Johnson after lunch. But suddenly Buffy took a turn and said she wanted to go back to Macys just one more time. I wasn't sure why because they really didn't have ANYthing worthwhile. But her friend suggested we go to the very bottom basement level.

TaDAAAAAAHHH!!!!! PROM DRESS GALORE!!!! I was so happy. I could barely breathe when I saw all the dresses because I KNEW there had to be something here among the thousands of dresses and that it wouldn't cost $475.

In fact, she kept looking at really pretty sun dresses that were 50% off. So I decided to bribe her, that's right, I BRIBED her, and told her that if she found a dress here at Macy's then I could also get her a couple sun dresses.

So she found a beautiful dress (fit her requirements of "short and puffy") that was white with silver and gold flowers. It's really gorgeous and very "her". AND she got three very cute sun dresses too. I left Macy's with four dresses in hand and only paid $200.

Pictures of the trip here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pischina/

Prom Dress Shopping

Taking Buffy to the mall today (Valley Fair mall, UGH) to shop for prom dresses. I don't know why we can't go to the discount asian dress shop down the road, no, we have to go to the gigantic rich people mall across town. And she specifically wants to visit the Betsey Johnson store. (P.S., Betsey Johnson? I owned this dress in 1986 and it cost me about $25).

I hate malls, I hate Valley Fair most especially, I hate shopping. But I am a sucker, so off we go to Valley Fair.

I'm going to take pictures as she tries them on and I'll send them to Flickr. So keep a look out there.

So last week my son was very upset because he wanted to drive to San Diego to see a concert with his friends. Now, he's 18 so I'm not going to stop him, although I didn't like the idea of a car full of 18yr old boys speeding down the highway to San Diego. But I wouldn't have stopped him.

But I did. Because he wanted me to give him 1) concert money and 2) gas money.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA

No.

So he was the only one of his friends who didn't drive down to San Diego this weekend (and it only took them 6 hours to drive the 460+ miles - see? I knew they would be speeding!!). And they all made it home safely, so I'm happy for that. But you know what happened?

They got there and the concert was Over-21-Only. And they are all 18.

So now my son is glad he didn't go. See? Mom always knows best.

Dear Son,

When I send you to the grocery store and instruct you clearly to only, ONLY buy a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a gallon of milk, ONLY...

I do not mean to buy all of that and also jelly donuts and four pkgs Chips Ahoy AND get $20 cash back out for yourself.

Why do we keep having to go over this???

Love,
Mom.

Yeah, little Buffy is getting all sorts of support from people who think I should just leave a key out for her. It wasn't the forgetting of the key that made me mad, it was that I told her to go home and stay home. She wasn't supposed to be at a friend's house, regardless of key status.

Aside from that, she's very excited to watch the Student Shorts on Friday night. If you haven't yet seen any shorts programs, the student shorts are always some of the best shorts of the festival. Friday, 9:30pm and Sunday, 10am. She also wants to see Ready? OK. It's Day 8 and we have four more days after today - there are LOTS of great movies to come! Today Kevin Pollak will be at Cinequest and Friday Diablo Cody (Juno) is coming to town. Don't miss it!

BJs was great and the kids had a great time. I think that Spike especially made me happy, because he seemed to have a good time with us. Spike is a wierd one. If we are all on vacation together he loves to spend time with us, but if we're all at home, he's not so much for going out with us. I guess that all has to do with how close his friends and the next party are, eh? But for some reason he had a great time with his sister and we had a great time with him. BJs stuffed us with food and we left $100 poorer, which I wasn't expecting but was okay, and with armloads of leftovers. Then Spike had Buffy invite some friends to Sky High Sports, and he drove them all there at 9pm, paid for Buffy's ticket, and played with them all until almost midnight! My kids are only 18 months apart, so it's not like Spike wasn't having fun, but I was really blown away by his kindness. Also, earlier in the day, he had told her to decide where she wanted to go for lunch, and he took her out for tacos while I was working. What a sweet brother!!! However, I had not realized for lunch that they "just figured" that I was going to give them my bank card to pay for it all, so there was a few minutes of arguing about whether I was supposed to understand that without them telling me. But still. I love that my kids love each other so much.

Buffy scored a whole bunch more Beatles stuff from her friends and I think she had a great birthday. Oh, after dinner we ran to Petco really fast to buy her poor bored hamster some wooden treats and toys. OMG that hamster was so happy to see all the stuff we got her! She kept running from thing to thing, biting, chewing and playing and stuffing into her cheeks everything she could. And then she ran a million miles an hour on her wheel for the rest of the night. Buffy has already banished the hamster from her room because the wheel keeps her awake all night, so the hamster has found a new home in Spike's room. Spike is a true animal lover; Buffy likes the *idea* of being an animal lover, but really should probably never have animals or kids when she grows up. Heh.

And now it is 9am and everyone, kids and hamster, are still sound asleep. I am enjoying the quiet and drinking my coffee.

We're going to BJ's restaurant for Buffy's dinner, at her request. None of us have been there before, but the kids have heard good things. Plus Buffy wants something called a "Pizookie" for dessert. This appears to be some kind of giant cookie/ ice cream concoction that I'm sure is not on my diet plan. I'm planning on having a salad anyway, and their salad menu sounds delicious.

She loved her presents which included the new McCartney CD, John Lennon's greatest hits DVD, a huge Beatles DVD anthology, a Yellow Submarine t-shirt, the Broadway "Rent" DVD, and a beautiful dress from Macy's (on sale). Also, her girlfriend got her a hamster. At least this time it's not a dog.

Also, Pischina-kitty and Phoebe-cat think the hamster is the greatest addition to our family, EVAH. And can't wait to get to know him a little more personally, if ya know what I mean.

So I am off to get ready for 17 year old girl birthday party.

Happy Birthday Buffy!

Did I mention that Buffy turns 17 today?

I'll write more about her later, I'm off to work and school and work again.

Buffy just called, she made the Varsity Swim Team for her high school, and for some reason she is surprised at this. Silly Girl. She turns 17 in less than three weeks, she's been swimming since she was three, and on a freakin swim team, winning all her races, since she was FOUR YEARS OLD. She's been on Varsity Water Polo since she was a freshmen. But for some reason making the Varsity Swim Team is a surprise.

Silly Girl.

So I let her stay home to watch the inauguration, but she had to be glued to the couch with no MySpace, no texting, nothing but unauguration.

Her friend Mark just came over, after school, as I was in the middle of quizzing her on the events of the day. She was not allowed to go bike riding until I felt she had learned something from her "field trip".

"HA-HA," said Mark. "I told you it wouldn't be that easy. I knew your mom wouldn't let this be fun!"

"I already knew she was going to do this," said Buffy. "I can't even stay home for REAL sick without her making me write an essay on strep throat."

Heee.

But I'm confident she'll remember this day now. She knows the names of everyone important involved, she knows the First Children's names, she knows who got sick at the Senate lunch, she knows about the Secret Service, "The Beast", and where the Vice President is going to live.

We also each have a copy of today's paper, and we're ready for the next four years.

Today is the first day I've been able to talk to my son since I read the news about Circuit City. He has a pretty upbeat attitude about it. His store will probably remain open for sixty days more, and he said they are REALLY busy now with the sales. I gave him Ipek's suggestion of applying to Trader Joes, which he thought was good, and he's thought of lots of other places to apply to. I'm glad to see him still positive, and hopefully he'll find another job soon.

Aw.
Circuit City has decided to close all their stores. My poor son is going to lose his job. I feel so sad for him. He did really, really well there and actually liked his job. I hope he can find another job soon.

So. Buffy likes the Beatles. Which is great, I mean really, it's better than Marilyn Manson. I'm thrilled, really, because I love the Beatles too.

But Buffy is like, INSANE in love with them, Paul in particular. She's never gone all crazy about any rockstars or celebrities before, but the girl is INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE right now. She turns 17 next month, and she sends me 15 emails a day with links to Beatles gear that she wants for her birthday, each one more important than the one before.

I taped The View this morning because Paul McCartney was on, and she hadn't really seen him in current times yet. I thought maybe this would cure her idea that he's her future husband.

Not so lucky. She sat in the chair facing the television with a look of complete rapture on her face for 45 minutes. "Oh my god, I could just fall asleep to the sound of his voice," she sighed. "And DON'T ERASE THIS SHOW!!!" A glare of death came with that demand.

"Thank gosh you're not all in love with the Jonas Brothers," I told her, "I don't know if I could take that."

"GAWD Mom," came the incredulous reply. "That's not even the SAME. The JONAS Brothers??? You can't compare them to THE BEATLES. GAWD. I mean, come ON."

She's right of course, but I'm still sort of boggled by her level of interest. Or... I'm boggled one day, and then she multiplies it by ten the next day. And then the next day it multiplies again. I may have to keep an eye on the bus stations around here in case she tries to buy a bus ticket to Great Britain.

Because that's the kind of thing she'd be likely to do, heh.

Buffy hasn't come up with any of her lamebrained gems of the tongue recently, but today she made up for it with two of them.

We were walking on the sidewalk around an outdoor mall today having lots of discussions about random things. And at some point she started asking about a famous saying, but she couldn't remember exactly how it went.

"Was it, a big jump for man and a... large jump for... men? Or, um, one giant step for man... how does it go?"

"That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind," I told her. "Do you know where that saying is from?"

She thought for a minute.

"Mallrats?"

Honestly, this one stopped me in my tracks, hands over my eyes, as I shook with laughter for a very long time. I couldn't move I was laughing so hard.

Buffyism #2

Buffy is obsessed with the Beatles and the obsession has gotten bigger in the last couple months. We were at Barnes & Noble today and she was looking at all the Beatles photo books, asking questions about them, and generally pointing out at every chance she got that she was going to marry Paul McCartney. Even after figuring in her head that he is now close to 70.

So then, in the dramatic fashion that only a 16 year old girl can muster, she said that she couldn't even imagine being married to Paul, because that would be like "waking up next to God every morning. Like waking up and Jesus is just laying there next to you."

"So who would that make you," I asked, "Mary Magdalene?"

"Who?" she asked. I had to explain to her, you know, the female disciple of Jesus, they used to hang out together, you remember?

"Oh." she said. And got the most confused expression on her face. "And she used to hang out with the Beatles too?"

So last weekend Buffy wanted a hair cut. We drove to the hairdresser which is right by the farmers market, and she went inside while I sat on a bench outside to have a snack. When I finished, I walked around for a few minutes.

Then I went to see if she was ready. I stood at the tinted window and peeked in but I couldn't see her. At the hairdressing stations I saw the backs of a man, a short-haired person, and a little kid. I looked over at the sitting area, no Buffy. "Where the heck did she go?" I wondered. I stepped inside to find her because there was no way she could have left without me seeing her. I saw the man, the short-haired person, the little kid, and a bunch of people waiting. No Buffy. But... she HAD to be there! I looked around again. Man, short-haired person, little kid... OMG. OMG OMG OMG. The back of that short-haired person looks awfully familiar...

"BUFFY!!" I exclaimed. The entire establishment looked up at me. Including Buffy. "YOU CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR????" She looked up at her hairdresser, "I told you my mom would freak out," and gave us all the hugest smile ever.

I wasn't mad at her, I was just shocked. I thought she was going in for a trim, probably because she's always whining about wanting her hair LONGER. Stupid kids, haha. But the truth was, she looked GREAT. It really was just the SHOCK of not being able to find her when I KNEW she was there, and then finally realizing all that hair piled on the floor belonged to her, haha.

Anyway, she has turned into quite the little model since then.
Do you all like it too?

It's Monday morning and I finally get some quiet time. Buffy went back to school today, Spike is home but he doesn't wake before noon if he can help it. I don't have to work until 11am so I'm free. Yeah, I was supposed to go to the gym this morning, but it was cold and dark when I woke up, so, ummm... tomorrow.

I have a feeling Spike is going to be extra good and helpful today. He got yelled at yesterday by me, and he HATES getting in trouble. But honestly, I'm tired of dealing with this 18 year old boy. If it were only the messes he leaves behind him like a trail of horse poop in a parade, I could probably live with that. But it's the fact that everything he touches in this house DISAPPEARS. We are down to three spoons again. Since my mother died three years ago and we took home three sets of her silverware, WE HAVE LOST ALMOST EVERY SPOON. I've started going to the Goodwill to pick up replacements so I can stir sugar into my coffee or have some cereal. I refuse to buy any new utensils until that boy is out of the house. At least all the cups and mugs that go missing can be found stacked up, filled with moldy old coffee, in his bedroom. But the SPOONS??? Where are the spoons???

Anyway, I lost it when I came home Sunday and his mess was all over the kitchen, two of my mother's Japanese crystal shot glasses were sitting on the sink, various stinky cups and mugs sitting on counter, and there were NO SPOONS in the drawer. I bet a bunch of them mysteriously appear today. Everything tends to get "fixed" after he gets yelled at, for around 48 hours at least.

It's 8am, time for me to go read a book.

Spike was officially promoted from "Holiday Help" at Circuit City to "Real Employee", Yayyy!

My daughter made her video for school.
There's also a blooper reel at the end!

You never can tell how Buffy will react when I spend money on something. Sometimes she's all for it, many times she screams and complains about it coming out of her "college fund" or whatever fund she thinks might have her name on it.

So I was a little nervous about telling her that I accidentally bought a car today (I mean... who DOES that? accidentally buys a CAR???). Especially after Spike's initial reaction was "It looks old" though that was soon followed by "We get to share it, right?"

So when she came home tonight I asked her to come to the computer where I had the picture of it up, and right away she caught her breath and said "OOOOOOH, that's PRETTTTY!!!"

"Really?" I said.

"YES! Omigod, are you gonna get it mom? are you going to get it for ME? Are we? Are we going to get it????"

"Did you win it Mom?" asked Spike from the kitchen.

"OMIGOD, YOU BOUGHT IT?????"

I looked at Buffy and I swear she was about to dance right out of her skin. She was doing a happy dance like I had just bought her a 2009 Mercedes convertible with Edward Cullen riding shotgun. Her hair was flopping all over the place as she jumped up and down.

"YOU BOUGHT IT??? YOU BOUGHT IT!!! YOU BOUGHT IT!!! IT'S BEAUTIFUL OMIGOD IT'S BEAUTIFUL, YOU REALLY BOUGHT IT!!!!"

So... Like that's how I would have reacted had I actually PLANNED to buy the stupid thing, haha. So deeeeeeep inside me I feel the same way, but it's hard to shake the reeealllly stupid feeling of buying a car accidentally. But her reaction makes me feel better.

I have the money, so it's not like I just did a REALLY stupid thing. And I always wanted one, so there's that. And I think it's a good price. I just wasn't expecting to have it... today. Heh. But anyway I'm really happy that Buffy is happy, and I told her I wasn't sure if I was going to let her have it or not, since there may be some mechanical problems down the road, but all she could do was jump up and down and dance and yell "OMIGOD I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT IT IT'S BEAUTIFUL OMIGOD I GET TO DRIVE IT I GET TO DRIVE A CONVERTIBLE AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND OMIGOD...!!!"

So sometimes it's fun having a 16 year old girl in the house. They bring joy in... every so often.

We'll probably go pick it up on the 21st or 22nd. Pictures then.

I went to Buffy's water polo game yesterday and it was SO exciting!!!
Despite all her goals, her team has not yet won a game, but yesterday the fourth period ended in a tie of 10-10 (a super high score for water polo) and they did lose in overtime 12-13, but it was SO exciting, and Buffy was an absolute star!

She scored 6 of those points, everyone in the audience knew who #17 was and were yelling for her, and during a time-out we could hear the coach telling her "We're going to pass the ball to you and you only, and you shoot and score! That's all I want you to do, get that ball and score a goal! You understand me Buffy? You're the one! You're going to go score some more points!"

Even though they lost, the team looked super happy when it was over, and Buffy was just beyond proud of herself. She wants to join league water polo in the winter so she can get even better, and she's starting to look forward to getting a scholarship. There's no doubt that colleges would want her for their team, she absolutely stood out among both teams as the superstar.

AND she's passing all her classes and doing the best she can in school. I've even seen some of her competitiveness come out in her classes - she doesn't want anyone getting a better grade than hers on their tests. It's nice to see her not only turning her life around, but finally enjoying the good things in life that come when you try your best.

I'm proud of her, can you tell?

Buffy again scored 2 out of 5 points in water polo today. She actually scored three, but she didn't hear the foul that was called on someone before she shot - that doesn't count.

The kitties are calling me to bed. I'm going.

When school started a month ago Buffy came home complaining that her friend was "the most spoiled girl in the world" because in the last six months her parents had bought her a (used) car, an iPod, a cell phone and a laptop.

Me: Does she get good grades?
Buff: Well, yeah, pretty good.
Me: I don't see anything wrong with that. She's 16 and doing well in school. I would do the same for you if you did well in school.
Buff: You mean I would be spoiled if I got good grades?
Me: Buffy, if you got all As and Bs I don't see any problem with getting you those same things. If we have the money and you are doing your part, why wouldn't I get you those things?

Fast forward a month. There's been no mention of our previous conversation. But Buffy has been working her little butt off getting her homework done, including getting extra help from her geometry teacher after school, and even blowing off water polo practice one day when she had too many projects due. At the moment she has a 2.33 gpa, but she's been doing everything she can to raise it.

Today I asked her about a disputed grade of "F" in computer class that she currently shows on the class website.

Me: What are you going to do about this grade Buffy???

Buffy: Mom, I talked to the teacher today. She just needs to enter the points from our homework and then it will be raised. I asked her to PLEASE hurry and enter them and she told me to "stop freaking out", that it's not a report card, but I TOLD her, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, this is a matter of ME BEING SPOILED!!!!"

It took me a second to process, and then I realized what she was talking about. For the last 2-1/2 years she has been grounded for various reasons and been doing poorly in school. One conversation with mom promising "stuff" and this kid has turned completely around.

I confirmed that the "spoiling" was still in the cards for a 3.0 gpa, but ONLY for a 3.0 or above. And then we had another talk about how continuing this work through college will ensure that she will be able to "spoil" herself when she grows up.

And today was her first game back on Varsity Water Polo (after being suspended for poor grades last year) and she scored three points for her team. The coach was thrilled. I had to work, but all her friends came to the game carrying signs they made with her number (17) and name on them. They said it was thrilling.

I have a very happy daughter today. And she's worked hard for that happiness. Good for her!

I forgot to enter this here, but of course have not forgotten it here in my "real" life:

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SPIKE!
Yes, that's right, he made it to the ripe old legal age of 18.
I'm very proud of that boy.

Unbelievably, Buffy turns 18 eighteen months from tomorrow.
My job is almost done!

Here are a couple pictures.

His father was not-surprisingly so late he missed the entire thing, but managed to hide out by the gym door so Spike does not know. I partially blame the stupid less-than-24-hours notice they gave us, but I also give a lot of blame to his father who most likely didn't try to get off early. Whatever. I was there and my parents were there in spirit, I am sure. I know Charleen's heart was there and I know Jason's spirit was there too.

No matter what, Spike was well and truly happy, as you can see from the pictures.

Spike Graduates High School at 6pm!!!

So due to the school district's complete idiocy - and really, we've been through this idiocy for the whole four years so why not end on a really big note? - it was just confirmed this morning that Spike has a graduation ceremony to attend this evening.

It's such late notice that the only people able to attend are myself and Spike's father. Not his own sister, not his grandparents, not his godmother.

We received a letter yesterday, August 5, postmarked August 2 - remember these dates - stating that graduation would be at 6pm on August 6. However, to be a part of the ceremony, we were supposed to RSVP to his school by...

July 30. No joke. Letter postmarked on August 2, we receive on August 5, we're to RSVP by July 30.

And oh yes, "Parents will receive invitations in the mail." Really? Because I still haven't received any invitation and graduation is in two hours.

So all day yesterday I called Spike's school, no answer, and he even drove over there to find the office locked and closed. Rehearsal was this morning. I gave him the letter and the postmarked envelope and informed him that he was to tell them that he IS attending tonight whether they like it or not. After some negotiations it was confirmed that he is going to walk the stage this evening.

Granted, the kids graduating at this ceremony are kids who mostly screwed up during their four years - but who somehow managed to make everything up and finish everything that needed to be done in just a couple extra weeks. It took Spike less than one extra week to complete it all including three college classes that last semester. So you have 200 kids who were at one time screw-ups but who then got their act together and did double and triple work to make up for their screwing off...

and you give them no chance to RSVP? No chance to walk the stage?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

So anyway, with this late notice, Buffy is out of town until late this evening, Spike's grandparents have "dinner plans", and I was not able to reach his godmother yet, although she lives a bit away and has two small children to make arrangements for. (I'm not so sure the grandparents could not have found a way to make it, but with a couple hours notice I'm going to try not to judge today) - I mean, even Catalina was really upset that she was going to miss it.

"This is a lot of work just to get a stupid piece of paper," said Spike. And well, yeah... but it will be worth it in the end. I'm trying to keep the anger at the school at bay and just concentrate on the fact that Spike is actually graduating high school after a lot of hard work, and he turns 18 in eleven days. He turned out to be a really good kid and I'm super proud of him, and I know everyone else is too, whether they can make the ceremony or not. I bought him a GPS system for his car for his gift.

Only two more years of idiocy to deal with until Buffy graduates.

Buffy just left with her friend to Disneyland. Maybe she'll see Charleen there since Charleen seems to have DISAPPEARED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH since her last vacation.
But anyway, I miss Buffy. Why did she have to start being such a good girl all summer and now I don't want her to go??

Spike left to sleep over at his friends. I'm not usually at this house with no one here. It's spooky. I made him feel properly guilty for leaving his mother all alone.
;-)

He graduates high school Wednesday. Of course, we still don't know WHEN OR EXACTLY WHERE the ceremony is, partly because the school system still sucks here, partly because a 17 year old boy apparently cannot find this information out. So I'm left wondering: Do I take the day off? Do I take the afternoon off? Where would I go anyway even if I have the time off?????????

Kids. < eyeroll >

We leave on our Seattle trip soon, so if anyone else has any ideas, get them in! I hear there's some humongous bookstore in Portland that I'm not supposed to miss, but I think it will be closed when we pass through on Sunday, and I'm not really sure the kids want to see the biggest bookstore in the world on their way home. But I have been assured that they will like it. So we'll see. Any other can't-miss stuff in Seattle?

And I'm out for now.

We saw John Mayer in concert last night, and he was awesome.
:-D

I took Buffy and three of her friends. Just me and four of the most well behaved 16 year old girls. It actually went very well.

We had lawn seats, and arriving an hour before the concert start we ended up in the very back of the amphitheatre where I'm sure planes flying overhead could see John Mayer better than we could. But there were big video screens so we just kicked back on the grass and enjoyed a beautiful summer evening.

Opening was Brett Dennen, a wierd looking guy who sings some fantastic music, kinda like 1980's Paul Simon. Then came Colbe Caillet, who sang well but I thought was boring. I read my book through her part. Then came John Mayer.

I'm not the biggest fan of John Mayer's music. I love him as a person, I think he's hilarious as he messes with the papparazzi and he seems really smart. But after watching him in concert I believe his real heart is much more in jazz, rock and the blues than it is in some of the silly songs on the radio. He said that all he ever wanted was to be a good musician, and not only was he an AWESOME guitar player, I just got the feeling that the radio stuff was not where his heart was.

He earned a million points from me by never once playing "Your Body is a Wonderland".

And he covered "Burning Down the House" as if the song was written for him.

He also has cut off all his curls, sporting something just shy of a buzz cut. But he was still hot.

The girls I took were pretty quiet through the concert, they stood and watched the screens and sometimes they danced, but I had the feeling they were just having fun together, and maybe they were dissapointed they were sitting so far away.

But on the way home, then the emotions came out:
"OMIGOD HE WAS SOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!"
"I wanted to run up on stage and HUG HIM!!!"
"Oh there he is on the radio, omg this song makes me so sad now because he was just on stage singing this!"
"I WANNA GO BACK!!!!"

It made me happy. It was nice to see the four of them had such a great time, and were such good kids too.

Now I have to go buy all his CDs. For... my daughter. Yeah, she wants them.
:-D

See?

Just to be clear, I didn't give Buffy $10 because of the trick we played on her. I made her pull weeds for it. I told her I had no intention of giving her $10 for being oblivious to her surroundings, and meanwhile her friend could not stop saying, "But how could you not SEE this???"

It certainly was fun while it lasted, but at least I got to see her face, and the whole scene was priceless. Now we can all just be happy we have some relief in the heat, and ya'll won't have to listen to me complain all summer long.

Not that we hear about "heat" in the weather report. Even on the national reports you can see the weather in California is just "Smoke". We actually have no sky, just greyness, we don't even have a skyline downtown -- just "Smoke".

But that doesn't stop me from getting in my pool.

Buffy says I owe her ten dollars

So Buffy and friend come home at 1:30 after summer school today and Buffy immediately goes to the computer. Friend stands next to her talking to me, and after approximately ONE MINUTE says "Oh, you guys got a pool?"

Buffy stares at the computer screen.
Friend looks at me.
I mouth "she doesn't know."

Friend, "What? Hey Buffy, you wanna swim in the pool?"
Buffy stares at the computer screen.
I get a giant smirk on my face.
Friend says, "What's going on? When did you get a pool? Buffy?"

Buffy turns around, looks RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW, and says, "What, a baby pool? We have a baby pool?"

Friend: "No, you have a HUGE FREAKING POOL, RIGHT THERE."

Suddenly, Buffy either opens her eyes, or turns her brain on, or SOMETHING, because she finally sees the pool. "WE HAVE A POOL???"

Me: Um, since Saturday.

Buffy runs outside, friend following, and me following them, laughing.
Buffy: We have a pool??? Why didn't you TELL me???
Friend: Buffy! HOW did you not SEE this pool? Why would they have to TELL YOU? OMIGOSH, how did you not SEE this pool?????
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - Also, Spike and his friends have been having pool parties every single day out here and you STILL didn't know.
Buffy: "F you ALL! You owe me ten dollars, Mom!"
Me: Why do I owe you ten dollars?
Buffy: Because this is messed up! You owe me! Why didn't you tell me!
Friend: Why did she have to TELL you???
Me: It took Friend one minute to see the pool Buffy!
Friend: I even saw it yesterday, I just didn't say anything. I can't believe you didn't see this pool!
Buffy: I DON'T LOOK OUTSIDE.
Friend: Buffy, this is a big ass pool.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Buffy: TEN DOLLARS.

In the end, I made her pull some weeds in the backyard to get her ten dollars so they could go to Jamba Juice. Then they're going to play in the pool.

And if Friend had not told her, you know she wouldn't have found out until September.

Me: If you think I'M bad, Spike didn't want to tell you until it was time to drain the pool.
Buffy: Why is THAT funny??
Friend: Buffy, how did you not see the pool???
Buffy: That's messed up. F you all, you're all messed up. You owe me.
Friend: But how... ???

And thus the invisible pool finally becomes visible.

Yes, it is Wednesday evening, and apparently the pool is still invisible.

I may have to send her to mow the backyard this weekend or pull weeds or something, and just pray that she doesn't fall in and drown before she realizes there's a TWELVE FOOT DIAMETER POOL SITTING IN THE BACKYARD. Geeeeez. Not even Spike and I had figured it would actually take an entire week.

I came home today around 4:30pm and Buffy and a friend were sitting here in the computer room (20 feet from the pool) watching TV and MySpace, looking hot and sweaty. They'd been there since 2:00 this afternoon. I really wanted to tell them they should go play in the backyard (HINT!!!), but I didn't have any real desire to end our fun game with her. Around 6:00 they decided to walk to another friends house, just in time for Spike to arrive with a huge group of friends to have another BBQ/Pool party. It's 9 pm and those guys are still here, now playing ball in the street (because one friend almost threw a ball into my brand new baby lime tree and Spike recognized that there would be fun for no one if I saw it happen so he moved the party to the street - See? Smart boy). Buffy will be back in about 15 minutes, but it will be dark and she won't see the pool.

HEEEEEEEE.

I'll have to break down and tell her this weekend, not right away of course, but I'm SURE she'll notice that we're all hanging out in the backyard, in our bathing suits, soaking wet.... SURELY she'll notice that, right? hahahaha...

I don't mind all the BBQs Spike is having because his friends all bring the goods and they make sure I get a burger or a hot dog so I don't have to cook. I bought them a trash can for the patio (and taught them how to use it) so they've been very good at cleaning things up after.

And I just remembered my midterm tomorrow so I better get off here and get to studying.

Buffy and the Invisible Pool: Tuesday Morning

So last night one of Buffy's friends came over but Buffy was with her dad so the friend went to hang out with Spike and his friends. The next thing I see is the friends bringing her into the backyard to see the pool. I went running out the back door - "YOU CAN'T TELL BUFFY!!!!" I yelled, "PLEASE don't tell her!!! PROMISE you won't tell her or ANYONE!"

"Oh, I WON'T," the friend laughed, "I mean... HOW do you not notice this???? Buffy has to be BLIND to not see this!"

No, she just has to be a 16 year old girl. At any rate, she woke up today, made breakfast, and went off to summer school. Still no awareness of the pool outside.

So Buffy came home yesterday afternoon from her father's house, and Spike and I and all his friends agreed we would NOT tell her about the pool, but would wait to see how long it takes to discover it. Because as a 16 year old girl, if something is not happening in her room or on the computer screen (on the MySpace website to be exact), it does not exist. Spike and friends and I all agree that we could be lounging around in our bathing suits for a week, going in and out the back yard soaking wet, and she still will not notice the 12' pool sitting right there, visible from five different house windows.

And so far, so good. In fact, when she came home Spike was having a bbq in the back yard, there are towels and pool toys littering the patio, and four citronella torches lit and surrounding the pool. Buffy came right in, noted the smell of smoke from the torches, and sat down in front of the computer.

This morning she got up, got ready for school, made some breakfast in the kitchen which has a window that looks out on the back yard, and then left for summer school.

The rest of us are cracking up, knowing it may take until next weekend when she wakes up and has to go looking for us all as we're floating in the pool. We all just hope we're there to see her face when she finally realizes there's been a giant swimming pool sitting right there in her backyard for god-knows-how-many days.

Because when you have a 16 year old girl living in your house, you take your enjoyment when you can.

Spike completed his last project for high school last week and turned it in on Friday.
Today we received a letter in the mail marking 0 credits due, and a "Nice work, see you at graduation on August 6" from the principal.

My boy is an official high school graduate!

And also an official college student (although he's been taking college classes for two years now) and enrolled in 12 units next semester:
Environmental Science
Natural Science
Intro to Evidence
Photography
Weight Lifting

I'm also officially enrolled in my classes now:
Global Literature of Asia
Honors Colloquium
Seminar in Comedy (Graduate class)

More strange facts about Buffy:
For a child who seems to hate school and is having a tough time getting through high school (I know, I know, she's another genius child - Can one genious child of mine just get their homework done???) she really surprises me sometimes. For one thing, the child absorbs history facts like a sponge. If only her history teacher knew how Buffy can recite entire histories of Germany and the Holocaust, and China and the Opium Wars, and actually have all her facts straight. I don't even remember half the stuff she has in her head, and I don't think I knew it even 5 minutes before or after my exams in high school (History was not really my thing, heh). But she definitely knows it all, and understands both sides to the histories, and the backgrounds and dates and...
anyway, she really knows her history. So why she only has a C in History I'll never understand.

The other thing is her vocabulary and her desire for a much larger vocabulary. She constantly asks me what words mean, and I see her then use them on her MySpace (correctly even!). She asked for a "Word of the Day" calendar, but calendar season is over. This evening I was telling her about my summer English professor, how he slips these ridiculously big words into every other sentence. For example, he actually said "fecund" in a sentence - and while I know what fecund means, I have never actually heard a real live person USE that word. Then, half an hour (and fifty more big words) later, he used "fecundity" in a sentence.
"Oh come ON," I thought, and looked at my watch. Class had been in session for 40 minutes. This man had used the words "fecund" and "fecundity" in less than 40 minutes. Personally, I think that's kind of ridiculous, but as I told this to Buffy, all she wanted to know was the definition. Not just the definition, but the EXACT definition, and I had to use them in several different sentences so she completely understood them. Then she started complaining that she didn't know these words before, and she wants to be able to talk like that!

"Mmm Buffy, NO ONE talks like that," I tried to tell her. But to no use - she wants that damn word a day calendar.

She's failing English by the way.

*****
I got my GRE essay scores today - I scored in the 88th percentile. Not bad. But it appears that somehow I marked for them to send the scores to Santa Clara University instead of UC San Diego - I'm really not sure how that happened, I have ZERO intention of attending Santa Clara. But whatevs, I will apply to the Masters program at SJSU and the PhD program at Santa Cruz for now.

It's 1:05am, and I'm going to bed.

Saturday morning is swim team time trials. Meet at the pool at 7:30am. Blah. I'll be in a shady corner with my copy of Frankenstein.

"WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME?? ALL THAT WAS IN MY PAST!!!"

"Um, no, all that stuff was YESTERDAY."

Kids are great, right?

So Buffy and her friend are in the kitchen fooling around and trying to remember Mother Goose rhymes.

"Mom, Mom," she says, "How does it go?

Little Miss Muffet,
Sat on her... tuffet,
Eating her...
...
Crumpets and fish?"

I really need to start drinking more.
Alcohol.
Much more.
And not stop until La Buff hits 18.

*****

In other news, I went to school today thinking I was going to get a big fat F on my two exams today. Instead, I think I got roughly half right in Mythology (yeah, still an F but not a zero!) and possibly an A in Spanish. So a crappy day turned into a great day turned immediately into a really crappy day after Buffy got in trouble again. Blah. Boo to teenagers.

Wow, we had only three sets of trick or treaters tonight.
By the time the second set arrived I let them pick 3 DumDums each.
The third set got handfulls of them.

I now have a massive bowl of DumDums, the cheapest candy at Longs. I don't even like DumDums.

:-(

The kids went out tonight.
Buffy was a cop. Oh sweet sweet irony.
Spike chose a more literal costume: An ape.
A six foot tall ape.
His friend was a banana, and they spent most of their time chasing each other down the street making everyone laugh.

It really was hilarious.
I am used to the mechanical voice saying, "Your. Daughter. Was not. At school. Today." "Your. Daughter. Was tardy. At school. Today." Your. Daughter. Was sent. To the Principal's office. Today."

We have never ever heard that she "participated. Well." Hahaha. I was so glaring at Buffy over the phone when the mechanical voice started talking. I wish I could have seen my face when I heard what it told me!

One of the BEST benefits of having a son with a drivers license is that he can go grocery shopping for you. This is the best thing EVER. I just hand him the ATM card and keys and off he goes. WOOOO.

In other news: I'm bored.

Spike turns...

17 years old today!

Annie is right, it's for Playstation 2!

Believe it or not, my son and all his friends decided our house was the house to play video games at, so they all brought over ALL THEIR GAME SYSTEMS to my house, and they are all here stacked on top of one another. We have everything. I have no idea what is actually owned by US, haha. So I thought the guitar was plugged into the Nintendo, but it is actually plugged into the Playstation 2.

However, you should LISTEN to me! The game is Dangerous! With a Capital D! It will rule your house and your lives!!!!

Edited to add: OMIGOD, Annie is my best friend from third grade!!!! She found my journal many years ago, but I had no idea she was still reading! *waves* HI ANNIE!!!!!

Guitar Hero II = Evil

Spike, with his paycheck, bought Guitar Hero II for Nintendo. If you have never heard of this game, as I had not, it comes with a plastic electric guitar and you play the music for rock songs, from Primus to Motley Crue to the Stray Cats, even Free Bird.

And it is totally addicting.

I've never heard of some of these songs, like EVER, and would never ever ever listen to them on my own... but I'm a solid rock star when I get that little red guitar in my hands. No one in this house has done ANYTHING since we got this game. Well, we argue a lot over whose turn it is. And we love when Spike needs to go to work, cuz then we get to play more.

I am advising you all: Do not get this game. You will get nothing else done in your life!
(Buffy currently has control of the guitar, that's the only reason I'm on the computer!)

Spike went grocery shopping with me today. We were out of everything, but it was too hot to go anywhere before. I didn't even want to go today, but it was hard to deny there was only tortillas and cheese in the fridge. So off we went. Left Buffy at her friend's house. We had a good time. I love spending time with my boy.

The kids, well, Buffy mostly, have not shown a lot of excitement about the cruise, mostly because it has been a very very very far away thing to think about, also I think because it is unlike anything we've ever done, so the things I have planned and booked for us seem to them like things that are only done on TV. So yesterday Buffy comes home and says:

Buffy: So, are we really swimming with dolphins?

Me: Yep.

Buffy: And going snorkeling?

Yep.

And doing the gliding thing?

The Zip Lines? Yep.

And riding horses?

Yep.

What else? Are we going to Cabo?

Yep.

REALLY? We're really going to Cabo?

Yep.

For sure?

*****
It was the first glimmer of interest she has ever shown in the trip. But this wasn't just a glimmer, she sounded like it just hit her that she was actually going to do those things. She said her friend just took off on a cruise to Cabo this week, and her ship has a gym. Does our ship?

Yep.

She had a smile on her face. FINALLY! 32 days Folks. And she even knows the countdown herself. Yayyyyyy.

Spike was inching his way out the door to go to lunch with this "girl" he's been sort of seeing on and off again, "nothing serious" from what I have been hearing.

"She's driving you? Has she had her license for a year yet?

"Oh yeah. She's had a license for a LONG time."

"What does that mean?"

"She's twenty."

And he closed the door behind him.

Reason #333228 why I hate the high school.

So I'm just getting everything together to leave for work today and my cell phone rings. It's one of Buffy's friends from school to let me know that Buff is in trouble, but that she really didn't DO anything this time, and that Buffy is really upset and distraught, and honestly, she didn't even DO anything, she SWEARS, and they're just calling to tell me that this time, Buffy really didn't do anything.

Jeeez.

Immediately my cell phone starts beeping again - it's ANOTHER friend, telling me the exact same story.

So I got in my car and drove to the school thinking I would be getting a call from school any time now. Of course I didn't, because actually calling parents is something they can never do and that is reason number 837288 why I hate that school.

I get to the office and Buffy is standing there in tears with the "Friend who is a very very very bad influence" (FWVVVBI). FWVVVBI says "Buffy didn't do it, she wasn't even there, I did it. It was all me."

Did you TELL someone that she wasn't there? "Yes." You told them it was YOU and not Buffy? "Yes." So why is Buffy still sitting here in the office? They didn't know.

And so where is the counselor? (Not to mention my phone call). She is no where. Buffy breaks down sobbing again because "This is the last day of school and they're RUINING it, I didn't even DO anything, and they said I'll need to have a PROBATION OFFICER and I wasn't even THERE and I just want to go outside for lunch and talk to my FRIENDS!!! *SOOOB*"

So some adult walks over and asks what the problem is. I told her the two girls were in trouble, they were told they had to sit there, and I was here to find out what was going on. Where is the counselor?

She didn't know. "What would you like me to do?" she asks me. How about you find the counselor?? "Well, I don't know where she is." Okaaaay. I blinked at her. "So what would you like me to do?" Are you fucking kidding me? I would like you to find the counselor so I can find out what is going on so I can go to fucking work, THAT is what I would like you to do. "Well I don't know where she is right now. What should I do?" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????

After 15 minutes the counselor comes in and asks me and Buffy into her office. She tells us that Buffy is suspended. Because FWVVVBI was caught trying to set off a stink bomb in class and the teacher was pretty sure she saw Buffy with her. The counselor acknowledged that Buffy says she wasn't there, that three other students said she wasn't there, and that FWVVVBI said she was there on her own. But the other teacher, who does not know Buffy, thought she saw her. And for this Buffy is now suspended on the last day of school. And being threatened with a probation officer - and you should know right now there would have been HELL to pay if she was given a PO over something stupid like this with so many witnesses stating she wasn't even there.

Buffy let her frustration bubble over at that point and started, um, telling the counselor off, basically. Which, well, everything Buffy said was true, but I don't approve of kids speaking to adults in that manner even though this counselor - on my 500th time dealing with her - is still obviously an idiot. I told Buffy to settle down. "YOU CAN ASK ANY KID IN MY CLASS IF I WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE THROUGH THE WHOLE PERIOD. *SOBBB*"

So the counselor took some names from her and said she would call them to verify. If they verified, she would be un-suspended. But because they pulled her out of class where she was taking finals, and now the classes where half over, she would have to take her finals in the office.

And so I went to work, and just got a call saying that Buffy's story checked out, they found witnesses who confirmed she was in class, and so she is un-suspended. (even though she already had plenty of witnesses who ALREADY said she wasn't at the scene) But she still has to take her final in the office. And because she missed so much time sitting in the office, she will be late getting out of school on her last day.

I don't know why Buffy even wants to stay at that stupid school. I don't know how I'm going to deal with another three years of them. When Buffy actually does something bad it is ME who has to call the school three times just to make sure they are going to issue a punishment - which never materializes. Today she does nothing, has several witnesses who said she was sitting right in class, and still she had to find more witnesses to get out of a suspension - that never should have happened in the first place.

A probation officer???

I just accidentally came across this picture and HAVE to share it with you because this kid was just way too cute for herself.

http://pischina.diaryland.com/images/beautiful.jpg

In answer to a question about the below article, yes, there is a law about kids driving other kids around. In California when you get your driver's license you are prohibited from driving other kids in your car without another adult in the car for one year. In this case, the driver was 17, so he probably cleared that rule already.

I mean... they had to be driving at an incredibly fast rate to do what they did on that particular road. I see cars doing incredibly STUPID things on that road every day on my way home, and they aren't all teenagers. In fact, most of them are NOT teenagers. The accident could have happened to anyone, and it should not have happened to anyone.

But when it's your child, I don't think it even matters. If anything, it makes it worse. If Spike leaves my house and does something incredibly stupid like that and gets himself killed... He's still dead.
:-(
I feel so badly for their families.

So two kids at the high school were in a car crash by our house over the weekend, crashed their car head on into oncoming traffic, hit trees, and burst into flames. The story going around is they burned to death. The newspaper article just says they were DOA. Buffy just knew who they were, but they were very good friends and next door neighbors of her friend, who is of course traumatized. I'm not sure if Spike knew them - but they were his age.

It's so so so so so so so so scary. Buffy and I have been fighting all day because I won't let her sixteen year old friend drive her to school, even though it's against the law for her friend to drive other kids for one year. She doesn't get it. But as a parent, I do. I get that those parents will never see their sons ever again, and will have the image of them possibly being burned alive forever with them. I couldn't live with that. I'm telling you right now, if something happens to either of my kids, I won't make it.

When I drive with Spike, it's not (usually) his driving that scares me - it's the other drivers that go past us doing 80 on the 40mph road. Spike doesn't have the reflexes yet to get out of the way or even notice those drivers headed toward him yet. That is what scares me to death. I don't know how parents actually give up and say "Here, here's your license. Be careful." I'm going to worry myself sick every minute he's gone.

It's just horribly depressing. I can't stand thinking about what those parents are going through. I don't know how they are getting through it. Or how anyone gets through it. I'm telling you all right now, I couldn't do it.

I can barely deal with my stupid sick cat.

Spike came home from working today and said "This is the best job EVER. I LOVE this job!!!"

Turns out he gets to "eat for free and talk to hot girls all day long! ...and get PAID for it!"

Must be nice to be a teenage boy.

Spike started his very first job ever Friday. He works at Melt Gelato and Crepe Cafe in Eastridge Mall. So of course Buffy and I had to go buy some gelato - and take a picture! The managers put him in charge of the front counter, which seemed like a great idea because he was rounding up ever teenage and preteenage girl in the vicinity into the store. I sat there for fifteen minutes watching girl after girl make googoo eyes at him as they sampled the gelato.
He loved it, said it was a lot of fun - but was a little bummed when he realized he only made about $25 the entire night. Welcome to minimum wage work, Boy, that's why you stay in school!

It was a great place to eat though.

So because we are an adventurous family and I am a lunatic, the kids and I got together and considered all the options for excursions on our cruise. I am going to have the scares and adventures of my life, but this is going to be a vacation we will never forget our entire lives. It's going to be our own little Amazing Race:

Puerto Vallarta:
9am - 2pm Canopy Adventure (ZIP LINES! 14 of them! 90 feet in the air!!!)
4pm - 8:30pm Sunset Horseback ride through rainforest with BBQ dinner

Mazatlan:
Shopping, buffet lunch and the beach - AHHH, Rest and safety!!!!

Cabo San Lucas:
Morning: Possible Swimming with dolphins or Kayaking
Afternoon: Snuba Diving

I am so scared of the zip lines I can't even think about them, but there's no way I'm not going to do them.
I know I never explained this, but I'm taking only the kids because Scott would not have fun on the Full Throttle Vacations that I take with the kids. Even when we're not doing Amazing Feats of Daring we still are Go-Go-Go non-stop on vacation. When I'm on vacation with Scott, we like to rest.

Which is why I'm going back to a different part of Mexico with Scott next January on another cruise, no kids allowed.
:-D

Spike had his first driving lesson this morning and the instructor said he was "the best first time driver she ever had", so this afternoon I let him drive my car...

He was a very happy boy as you can see from the picture... but it wasn't the best ride *I* ever had... there were some close calls and once during a turn me yelling "SlowDownSlowDownSLOWDOWNSLOWDOWNSLOWDOWNSLOWDOWN!!!!

I think I'll let him take another lesson before he drives MY car again.

So the new glass company came by this afternoon, replaced both panes of glass, and only charged me $175, much less than the first company was going to.

I have to say, he was quite impressed with her broken window and how she has recently written all over her walls with a sharpie pen, and a few other recent stories I told him.

He left and told me "Thanks for the birth control. I'm going to go ride my bike and slip off the seat now." I'm not even kidding.

Ready for the next chapter in the Fixing-One-Stupid-Window story?

So I came home after school to wait for the window guys to come, and luckily at least the internet works now so I could work from home while waiting. So I waited and waited, and finally I noticed a voicemail message. I listened to it, and the glass company wanted me to call them.

And they told me that their boss just told them my house is "just out of area" and they can't come fix the window.

Even though they've already been out here once, ordered a new window, accepted my cancelation and rescheduled for today.... and then they don't tell me until today that they can't come???

I was too boggled to even yell. They gave me the number of two other companies closer to me. I called one company and told him the story. "They told you WHAT????" He couldn't believe it either.

So I made an appointment with him. For Friday afternoon. Luckily, I have no school then, so I am home anyway... but what if I wasn't?? What if I didn't have working internet so I could work from home, or what if I wasn't able to work from home anyway?? I've never heard something so ridiculous.

But the element of surprise worked in their favor, because I was too damned surprised to yell.

I forgot to update this part, but you know that week long madness below?

After the glass guys left, after asking Buffy over and over and over again "WHY did you throw away the window?????!!!!!!" and her telling me over and over and over again "I didn't think you needed it", and then it was 6pm and Spike comes home and hears us still mad at each other and he tells me...

"She didn't throw it away. It's on the side of the house."

***FUME***

So I had to call the glass people back... leave a message... to please cancel the window order... and please come back with the glass... and now it won't be $445 for a whole window, but it's not going to be $225 anymore because they have no intention of coming out AGAIN and being sent away, so now it's $275.

So Spike put the slider part in Buffy's room... and she goes in there later... and...

"Hey Mom! I found my window!"

I kid you not.

So Buffy met Catie today (I think they've met before), and it was just like the commercial for that cruise ship where they go searching for that lost thing... the smile on their daugher's face. Can I say that Buffy has been bordering on getting murdered (by me) since last week, and today she was barely allowed to come to the movies, and is barely speaking to me (nor I to her), but boy when she saw Catie she just SMIIIIIIILED like there was no tomorrow. Of course, Catie gave us cupcakes this weekend and Buffy ate more than her share so that made her happy too, but it would be nice to have a nice daughter every once in awhile!!!
Yeah, I know, I have a few more years to go before I see that smile directed at ME. Stupid teenagers.
>:-(

After I picked her up from her dad's house this evening, where she had to stay because she is grounded:

"GAWD, (stepmother) is such a big fat BITCH. She (blah blah blah this and that whateverrrrr)!"

"So, are you saying she's a bigger bitch than me?"

".... No."

Buffy Quote #2

While standing in line for the Opening Night movie:
"Mom, you're not really going to actually READ THAT SCHOOL BOOK in line, right???"
"Yes, I'll be reading in line for the next two weeks."
"NERD!!!"

Buffy came home and I asked her to look at my ring, and she didn't want to - you know, she's "too busy" to stop and pay attention to me now - but I insisted and she came over and looked and - "Ohmigod Mom, that's HECKA pretty!!!!"

:-D
She likes it!

New picture of Buffy with a friend from Water Polo. Buffy is on the right, for those of you not familiar with her.
Isn't she pretty?

Happy Birthday to Youuu
Happy Birthday to Youuuuu
Happy Birthday to Spi-i-ike....
Happy Birthdayyy
toooo
Youuuuuu!!!

LOVE YOU!

Spike's Friend: When I retire I'm gonna be FAT RICH, and buy THIS and THAT and sit on my butt and play HALO all day, and ---

Spike: First you have to get a JOB.

From the comments:
"Buffy impresses me. If I had half of her convicton at her age I wouldn't have wasted so much time trying to cultivate it myself. Obviously you did something right."

Well, you know, it's true, and that's why we're so proud of her and think she's going to do so well in her life - I certainly was not like that when I was her age, and it's important for girls to stand up for themselves and their beliefs.

On the other hand, this trait also causes her to be hard-headed and stubborn as a mule in every single other aspect of her life too. Which makes her teenage years EVEN MORE FUN as a parent. NOT. heh.
No, if it's possible to love someone and be so proud of someone and want to strangle someone all at the same time, Buffy's got it down. I just need to get her and me through the next few years all in one piece and she'll be ready to take the world by the horns.

Just beware, she WILL be Queen of the World. So get those curtseys ready, you can be sure she'll make them required.

So Buffy went to church camp on Sunday and invited her friend (a male) along. He's a sweet boy and was concerned that he wouldn't make friends, even though I assured him I thought he would fit right in with that crowd.

Today was their beach trip and Mark was able to get reception on his cell phone, so he let Buffy call me. She said Mark is having so much fun he doesn't even hang out with her. And she's having a ton of fun too. That makes me happy.

She comes back on Friday. I have the day off and we're all going to the beach. Sunday Spike and his friend go to camp for a week. Ahhhh... more peace and quiet in the house.

Buffy is now on her way to Arizona.
I'm sad. I miss her and I want her to be safe.

So my son, in his Sophomore year of high school, has already passed his exit exams for high school.

He's passed maybe four classes in 2 years, but he scored 50% more points than needed for his exit exams.

And he was totally shocked. TOTALLY. Where did this kid get the idea that he is stupid?? I don't get it.

Nothing like an overnight guest projectile vomiting all over your house and a quick 4am drive to take the kid home.

The child is an awesome vomiter though. Man. All over the door even.

She was a trooper though. Didn't even cry. Buffy was the one having a fit about the mess all over her room.

It was quite a clean up. Poor kid.

Another day, another rule broken by Buffy.
I'm going to kill that child.
You gotta hand it to her, she never repeats the same rule twice. She comes up with a new one every day.

Hey ya'll, remember when she was cute?

Teenage Drama. Jeez.

So Buffy got in trouble again last week and was grounded. She has been very sweet and loving ever since. Now another "BFF" is having a birthday party this week and her father and I said that was covered under the grounding and she couldn't go. So she hates me again. She hates me more than her father because I "went along with what he said." She's mostly mad because Spike was grounded TWO YEARS AGO but still got to go out for a concert (that he received tickets for as a graduation present). For some reason, because of that one night that he got off, she should be able to get off grounding every single time she wants to go some where.

So here I am, the worst mother in the world, AGAIN.

Don't worry, I'm not losing sleep over it.

You would think after ALL the times the kids, especially Spike, have gotten poison oak that they would learn:

a) What it looks like
b) Don't touch it!!

But no. Spike has it on his face. Again.

Well, Charleen kind of said "You're taking the rest of the week off now just shut up about it already," so now I have a few days to get things done.

Took Buffy to the doctor and got her some Zyrtec and Prednisone for her face, and Vicadin for her tooth. She sat in the waiting room while all the other sick kids stared at her, and I laughed. Heee. Troll. She was a good sport about it though.

Waited an hour at the pharmacy, but finally got our stuff and was out of there. She took her stuff and her tooth feels better and the swelling is going down, but she still has crud all over her face.

Came home and made reservations for the hotel. We're going on a real vacation!!!

Now I do some work, call the Home Consignment place, and get some more stuff out of my mom's house.

Tomorrow register Buffy for high school, take more stuff out of house, and hopefully meet some movers.

Wednesday do even more stuff.

Still way behind, but getting there.

***But Charleen's father is now being rushed by ambulance to the hospital for chest pains, so hopefully that's going to be okay. It seems her father never got the memo that no one's parents are allowed to be ill. For another 15 years or so. So think good thoughts for him.

Everyone stay out of my way today, seriously

Fucking dentist has absolutely no time to see Buffy until Friday, and won't prescribe pain medication because she hasn't been seen at that office before. This is an ongoing problem for 2-3 months now, and because no dentist in San Jose knows how to fix her tooth she has to just live her life with this pain??? So I have a 10:45 appointment with the doctor to see her poison oak and then I'm going to plead with them to give her something.

At this point if I don't get a vacation with or without the kids I am going to seriously snap.

Another lovely Monday

So Buffy has another toothache, the same tooth that's been hurting the last two months. Her father had her Xrays and the paperwork to call the new dentist but over an entire month of me calling him he never had one minute to call the dentist so now she has another toothache again. I'm not very happy with Buffy either as I told her every single day to get the Xrays and paperwork back from her deadbeat father so I could call them myself, but she slacked on that too, and now we have to go through this again. I'm sorry, but I'm calling bullshit on this. First, I'm furious with her father for doing NOTHING at all about this, leaving me to take time off work three times in 2 months to get her to appointments, but I'm also pissed off at Buffy because I nagged and nagged her every single day to get this taken care of before the toothache came back. And now I'm supposed to feel sorry for her? So now here I am working from home again waiting for the dentist to call me back to see if I can get her an emergency appointment.

But on top of that, she decided it would be a great idea to play in the creek this weekend, and now she has poison oak all over her face which is puffed up like a balloon.

She's a mess, and I feel bad for her, but I'm also furious that she brought BOTH of these things on herself, and now I have to take time out of my schedule - which has NO MORE TIME LEFT - to get this all taken care of. Again.

So at least two of you have heard of Parkour, and it seems you have the same reaction I did.

It is so totally cool. And even cooler to see your 15 year old son doing these incredible athletic feats.

It is also so totally obviously dangerous. Especially when it's your 15 year old son doing it.

And I did feel conflicted about this. I want to say "WOW Spike, that's INCREDIBLE! I can't believe you scaled that 3-story building! I can't believe how you swung from the roof-tops like that!"

And then I also want to say "Are you out of your MIND??? I FORBID you to do this!!!!"

I did tell him I wanted to set two rules: No jumping off second story buildings (I saw him on tape jumping from a one-story roof), and no jumping roof to roof, which is featured in many of the internet videos.

And from here, as a parent, all I can do is cross my fingers and hope he stays safe.

I need to double my insurance coverage now

So Spike is now involved in something called Le Parkour.

Has anyone out there heard of this insane "sport"?

I originally understood from Spike that it involved running, and jumping over fences, and he even mentioned climbing buildings.

But my fifteen year old son isn't climbing buildings, right?

He just showed me a video of himself last night. It involved him climbing up the wall of a three story building, via the drain pipe. I saw video of him hanging off the edge of roofs and basically climbing walls spider-man style. The boy's arms must be strong, I'll tell you that. And he's good, I gotta give him that too.

I mean, I don't know many people who can climb up a three story wall in less than 10 seconds...

But... BUT... !!!!!

According to the internet, this is the new big thing. Please someone tell me if you've even HEARD of this???

"Buffy, you want to see two movies tonight?"

"No."

"Well, pleeeeease? It looks really good!"

"MOM! I'm a growing girl and I need my SLEEP!"

"We'll be home by 11... (tiny lie)"

"NO MOM."

"Please? I'll let you sleep with your head on my shoulder."

"NO!"

"I'll buy you an ice cream."

"Okay."

Okay at the moment Buffy is okay.
Long story short, the Endontist knows what he has to do, but he cannot get to the tooth because it hasn't come in yet. So we get to make the trip back to see him every 30 days until it comes in. Which, with Buffy's record for sprouting teeth may not be until 2008.
So instead, for now she has a prescription for amoxycillin that we hope will kill the bacteria that have taken up residence in the tooth and then the pain will go away for awhile.

It was a long afternoon yesterday.

Buffy stayed home from school today with a bad toothache.
Her dad took her to the dentist and they said she has a cavity in a molar that has not even come in yet (don't ask me how) and the root isn't formed yet so they cannot do a root canal.
So I have to take her to a "root specialist" at 3:15.
Which will probably require a fat check to be written, even though we have insurance
(thanks to ME, and not their stupid father).

One thing for sure, I did not send her to that dentist that is STILL taking money out of my account, although they are still SWEARING that the refund "is on the way."

So last night I spoke with Spike about... not being a loser, heh... and we hit upon a career that actually interested him and wasn't like, Magician, or Door Man, or Comedian.

He thinks he may want to teach physical education in college. And I think he would be really great at that, and I think he could do it.

So this morning I was driving along the freeway to work and daydreaming like crazy about my son who was going to finish high school and go to college and get his Masters and go on to teach college...

And I passed up my exit. Heh.

The daydream was worth it.

Scott is unable to come over tonight so my schedule has changed.

1. Go home and beat the kids
2. Look at the mail.
3. Beat the kids maybe some more.
4. Eat some soup.
5. See if any more beatings need to be distributed.
6. Watch The Brothers Grimm
7. Hand out the Before Bed Beatings.
8. Go to bed and dream of being childless.

See? Sounds like a LOVELY evening!

Getting things done

Yesterday I:

Had my final transcript sent to the University < insert Big Smiley here >
Bought my English Lit book, which ended up being a newer version and so the page numbers don't match the syllabus < insert Smiley that tears its hair out here >
Found out my son may be gearing towards a career in counterfeit currency < insert ROFLMAO Smiley here >
Found out my daughter is following in her big brother's footsteps regarding her grades < insert Smiley with smoke coming out its ears >
Sat and tried to relax while watching A Bronx Tale on DVD. Ahhhhhh... Finally a good movie...

Today I:

Called the high school and left message asking why I still have not been notified that my son may be in the counterfeiting business < insert Smiley with ?? >
Called the dentist to ask why I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN A REFUND BUT THEY DID TAKE OUT ANOTHER $100 FROM MY BANK ACCOUNT (Answer: I'll get my refund in 4 more weeks) < Insert Smiley loading its gun >

Tonight I'm going to:

Take Scott out to dinner at Aqui's
Make the kids sit at a different table
Watch Madagascar with Scott
Go to bed and dream about a childless life.

*****

Itsy: A really really good time for a 5K would be around 15 to 17 minutes.
I *think* my best official time is a 24, when I ran my ass off for a bet but wasn't really trained yet
My worst time was a 35 when I was stuck in the porty potty as the gun went off and I had to sprint up a hill and down the block to catch up to the crowd.
None of my official times are any good because I never managed to race when I was in great shape for the 5K.
But I would be really happy if I did a 20 this time. I think I can do it, No reason why I can't one day soon.

Kids are exhausting.
I don't know how many more years of this I can take.

More Buffy-isms...

Last night she made reference to the "Constitution of Independence"

And this year she is studying American History. I need to find out what's going on in that class.

;-)

Buffy saw a reference to Ronald Reagan on a DVD yesterday.

"Who is Ronald Reagan?" she asked me as I cringed.

I have no idea where this child came from.

Spike tried to make a cherry pie last night, "Just like Grandma".
It wasn't just like grandma's, and it was watery and I'm not sure why, but it was definitely good.
It was his first try. I know my mother's first try, when she tried to make one for my father 40 years ago, she turned the oven on Broil instead of Bake and it was a disaster that made her cry but my dad insisted on eating it anyway.
Spike will get the pie right, I betcha, eventually, just like my mom did.

I have mentioned before my love of The L Word, and even though I could watch that show over and over again, I never ever watch it in front of the kids. Although god knows Spike would probably love it.

So after finishing the Season Two DVDs in about three days, I realized there was a lot of good music there and maybe there was a soundtrack, and sure enough there is, one for each season. So I ordered them from Amazon.

So the other day at work I get a call from Buffy, and she says I have a package, and I've forgotten already about my order and I was trying to remember what it was and then she says:

"< insert dripping disgust > It's your... LES-bi-an CDs."

Me: *caught off guard* "My what?"

Buffy: *drip drip drip goes the disgust* "Your LES-BI-AN CDs. From that LESBIAN show."

And I couldn't help it, I just started cracking up, the way she said it was SO HILARIOUS, like she ALWAYS KNEW I was hiding being a lesbian, and NOW SHE HAS PROOF, and OMIGOD THE EMBARRASSMENT.

So I went home and loudly exclaimed, "SO WHERE'S MY LESBIAN CD'S???" and now whenever we get into the car and she wants to change the station I tell her, "Oh no, wait, let's listen to MY LESBIAN CDS."

And I just realized I never did ask her how she knows about the show, if she got into my Netflix DVDs when I wasn't home or what, but you know what? The CDs are great. Especially, well, I guess they are BOTH great. So you should buy them. Unless, you know, you don't want to have any LESBIAN CDs at your house.

Because, you know, Dusty Springfield and Rufus Wainwright... TOTAL lesbians.

I.
Hate.
13 year old Girls.
And...
The 15 year old BOYS who touch them.

Someone is going to die, and I know that because Buffy's father is going to get his hands on him first.

And if you are a 13 year old girl, you know what? Don't make out with fifteen year old boys who are so stupid as to have a picture taken of you making out with each other ON YOUR BED and who then post it on their stupid MySpace which is linked to YOUR MySpace which is linked to your MOTHER'S MySpace.

Because see? Now your 13 year old ass is going to a babysitter every single day after school, and that's only if you're lucky enough to survive what your father is going to do to you now that your mother has emailed him the photo.

Also, Miss 13 year old BUFFY... it was your godmother CHARLEEN who found the stupid picture and you are oh so grounded for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buffy: ur just jelouse cause u dont have mad abreviating skills like me

Oh yeah, and I'm totally hating on your spelling skillz too Buffy.

Oh I completely forgot to mention it with the heat and all, but
WE WON FINALS!!!!!
And the best part?
Was beating that stupid team.

And Spike did great too, and there's pictures over at Flickr and a journal entry up too.

I forgot to put this in today's journal entry, but Buffy is still going through her little heart break, only now she's just turned to a Woman Scorned, which let me tell you... Scary.

So Timmyboy broke up with her yesterday (just as I was starting to LIKE him, too!) and she was sad, and then he IMed her and told her he didn't know what he was thinking, and that he wanted to get back together. So she was happy again. But then his friend pasted an IM conversation with him and gave it to Buffy, where Timmyboy says he only got back together because he felt bad for her...

Hooo Boy. 9.2 earthquake in the house at that moment.

This absolutely infuriated Buffy. If you can scream over Instant Messenger, that's what she was doing. And then she told him she HATED him, and then she blocked him.

"I'm erasing his MySpace," she said calmly. "I made it for him, and I'm taking it away."

I told her not to, that he wasn't trying to hurt her, but she didn't care. She just looked up at me with this very calm, evil, determined look - that I know has flashed from my very eyes at times - and said she didn't care and was going to erase it anyway. I pleaded with her, it didn't matter. Finally, I just forbid her to do it.

***I just peeked at it right now to make sure she obeyed me -- it's still there but his comments are gone and boy is it all messed up.

I hope he's looking over his shoulder today.

Buffy just called and said her little boyfriend just broke up with her because he didn't want a girlfriend any more. I didn't think she would mind too much, but she says she is sad. My heart hurts for her.
:-(

So Saturday morning I'm sitting in the coffee shop with Scott and my cell phone rings. And it's The Ex telling me that Spike has "flea bites" "all over his body" even his face, and so I need to set off a flea bomb in my house.

Okay, so the fleas do love Spike, and the fleas love me, and they tend to leave Buffy alone, probably all that sour blood she has, heh, but I thought it awful odd that Spike would be COVERED wtih bites when I didn't have any, plus the fact that he didn't have any bites when he left the house in the morning.

So I argued with The Ex a little bit but not much because, well, I was at the Aptos coffee shop and he could kiss my ass and take care of his son for once.

So I pick up Buffy for her confirmation class this morning and she's telling me how Spike is always so nice when he's sick, and I asked if he was sick right now. She said no, he wasn't sick, but he had "flea bites" all over him and was miserable and itchy, and in her opinion Spike needed to get to the doctor because "he gets more bites every day."

Okay, the bites are appearing and spreading while he's at HIS DAD'S house, but the fleas are supposedly at MY house.

So this evening I speak to Buffy on the phone and it turns out that Spike does not have flea bites, he has POISON OAK. From crawling all around in the creek with his dorky 14 year old friends.

Now he's covered with calamine lotion.

Hee.

Dear Buffy and Spike:

Hey, when the appliance repairman was here to fix the oven it would have been really really great if, like you had been instructed on the phone five minutes before, you had mentioned the goshdarn WASHING MACHINE that he could have fixed in a total of five entire minutes, but you know, I understand you didn't have time to mention four little words, "ALSO THE WASHING MACHINE", I mean they are multi syllabic words, and besides that, I really don't mind spending ten bucks and 90 minutes at the laundromat today, it's not like I have two 1500 word essays, a history exam and a science exam all due this week, so anyway, no big deal, "also the washing machine" was just too much trouble, I understand.

Love,
Mom

I went to pull up my diary to read something real quick while Spike was sitting behind me playing video games. The trick is, bring the site up, then scroll down ASAP so no one reads the title and starts thinking about things...

So I nonchalantly bring it up, scroll down real-fast, and -

"PISCHINA DIARY OF A GROWN WOMAN" exclaims Spike as he finishes shooting the bad guy on TV.

That boy's too smart and too quick, how can he be failing Algebra AND Journalism????

Spike's new girlfriend (of-the-week) is named Jezebel.

No kidding.

Update! Again! ...And Spike too!

First of all, I updated, AGAIN!!! Yeah, I KNOW!

Second of all, I was sitting here hitting "random entry" and reading my some of my old entries, and I get to April 13, 2003, and I read "Spike got his report card today and he got straight A's!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!!!!!

Like I'm ever going to get a chance to write THAT again. Then again, you never know with kids. That's the only thing you can count on is that they will always surprise you.

So today's field trip was to Trinity Episcopal Cathedral and this one I loved. I wish I could find a website that had photos of the interior of the church because this was the most beautiful place EVER. Built in 1865 out of Santa Cruz Redwood, there's just no words to describe it. Plus, the service was very enjoyable and the people there were very nice. This was a much better experience than the catholic church we went to last month.
Anyway.

Miss Buffy came back from her birthday snowboarding trip yesterday. She took lessons with her friend and apparently Buffy was "the bomb". She had a fantastic time.

The best thing is, Miss Attitude seems to have been left in the snow. Nice. I wonder how long until she finds her way back home?

Ya know, it's really hard to be a parent and read in your son's blog about something that has made him so sad. I know he'll be okay in the long run, but it really hurts to hear how he is hurting. It sucks to be a teenager, but it sometimes hurts to be the parent of one.

I think it's funny that I volunteered to help drive the kids to the Catholic church and it never even occurred to me that I would probably have to actually attend the service myself. Heh.

Did not like it. No offense to Catholics, REALLY, I just really love my own church. This particular church was very noisy, crying babies and talking and playing children, even the adults were all talking to each other through the whole service. It gave me a gosh darn headache. No one was paying attention, not that they had to because everything seemed to be on autopilot - we visitors didn't know what we were doing, but everyone else knew when to chant back "and also with you" and "So says the Lord" or something like that. No one had to think about anything or pay any attention, it was just the same old thing they did every Sunday in church. In contrast to my church which is very quiet, just a nice hour of quiet meditation and some singing, and a nice, informative sermon that gives us something to really think about and sometimes even changes our lives.

Every religion has something for everyone, I'm not knocking the Catholic church or traditions, I just know now that I really really love my church and it is definitely the right one for me.

Hopefully Buffy doesn't bring lightening strikes to the church

6:04am on Sunday and I'm already up and showered and dressed and drinking coffee. Buffy's confirmation class is visiting a Catholic church today and I'm one of the drivers. NEXT week she has to feed the homeless - which means we have to be at church at 6:30 am!!!

Anyway... Off I go...

Okay, Alias? Well that was totally boring last night, at least *I* thought so. Buffy and I could hardly stay awake the last hour.

Speaking of Buffy... oh God she's a teenager now... worse than you could ever imagine... time to call the nunnery...

Oh yeah and even Spike is mad at me because I "lied" to them, haha, all depends on whose version you're looking at I guess, and what it all comes down to is Buffy was plotting to have some boy over here while I was at work and Spike was plotting to blackmail her to do all his chores for him and yet they were CAUGHT, by ME, and now I'm the bad guy because I read about it in her diary, even the page where she used words I've only ever seen before in my email spam box.

I can't tell you how bad and sorry I feel about reading the diary... NOT! NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT!!!! Little Booger Brats are lucky I didn't kill them both and they know it!!! I am SO not sorry. "What kind of mom are you?" Spike writes in his little blog. Well son, that would be the kind who CARES ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO HER KIDS, and obviously that action was needed because Folks, if you had read what I read...

And now she has to be babysat by her grandmother every day after school. And is allowed no access to the computer. And I am NOT sorry.

Okay, did anyone here actually think I was NOT going to get a call last night about girls in Spike's room?

I am off work early so I can take Spike to church where he'll be picked up for a weekend of community service in Sacramento, and a Christian Rock concert Saturday evening.

I hope he doesn't corrupt the poor kids, heh.

And I hope they keep the church girls faaaaaaaaaar away from him.

Anyway, after that, I am off to Aptos! Hurray! And more essays! Boooo!

Everyone have a great weekend!

Okay, I am breathing a little easier at the moment.
I found both Spike's blog AND Britney's, and though they both go on and on about how much they love each other, there doesn't seem to be anything sexual going on... yet. But at least I'm not too late, eh?
Spike also fills out a quiz in his blog where he states he's never gotten high, but that he "would think about" having pre-marital sex. I'm certain he probably will, heh (I'm not that dumb), I'm just worried about the next couple years.
But so far, so good.

I can't access NotifyList.com from Scott's computer, but I did write a bit about some conversations over the last 2 weeks in the diary.

This is what our front yard looks like from our living room window. I can't show you the outside of the house because I ran the batteries down in my camera, but this is the gist of it.

It's even more spectacular from outside, but you'll have to use your imagination.

Toilet paper is fun!

Our house got toilet papered

Our house got toilet papered by the swim team last night. My kids are thrilled because that means they are loved, heh.
I'm just glad it's not a weekend that we were all gone, and also, since the kids are here with me, THEY get to clean it up.

Even funnier, Spike caught them doing it, and they ran away scared. He said it was hilarious.

That's Spike on the left, and his super-tall friend Alejandro on the right.

Buffy on left, best friend and swim nemesis Sara and the right.

Another early Saturday

6:10am and I've been up for 45 minutes already. Another swim meet, and then off to Aptos.

Spike graduated yesterday, it was a really nice graduation. Buffy graduated Thursday. I'll post pictures later. Well, maybe I'll post them now. Hold on just a sec...

Okay I put up more pictures, mostly from last year, but the first two are from this month. Just click that link on the right that says "Pictures".

Spike made up a new recipe.

Spread peanut butter on a tortilla.

Put a whole peeled banana on top.

Roll up like a jellyroll.

Eat it!

I woke up this morning and this cold has finally broke. Still have sniffles but I feel SO much better.

Buffy cut her stitches out of her thumb all by herself yesterday. It was really gross. But she just clipped and pulled, clipped and pulled. Nine times. The tenth one is a problem, there's not much there to cut. But we have to get it out today cuz her thumb is healing right up.

Yeah, we'll probably take another picture, heh.

And more pics on Three65Pics too.

Busy Busy Day

I took a very cool picture of the ghastly thumb - I'll try to post it up today. I brought my camera to work and showed everyone and even the men were like AAAAAAAAAGH!!! EW GROSS!!!! hahahhaa...

This afternoon I register Spike for high school, which in this case is a much more complicated process than normal. I have to bring with me:

his birth certificate
his last report card
my rental agreement
pge bill
dmv registration
voter address confirmation
IRS receipt
another bill with my name on it

All because everyone and their auntie wants to go to this brand new high school and people have been forging docs to get in, and now there's no room for the kids who belong there. Anyway it will be a long afternoon, and then Buffy has open house after.

I'll *try* to post that picture tonight, if not you may be out of luck for awhile, heh.

Just got back from the hospital where Buffy got 10 stitches in her thumb. She wanted to make homemade frenchfries so she was cutting up a potato with a serrated steak knife, ended up slicing her thumb from top to bottom all the way through and even cut a chunk out of the middle. The very nice doctor lady couldn't even figure out how she'd done it. Buffy barely shed a tear.

BUCKETS of blood, you should have seen it.

Yeah, the happy kids didn't last for long, yesterday morning Spike was furious taht Buffy wouldn't let him take her Starbucks travel mug I bought for her birthday to school with him. I wouldn't have let him either!!! Junior high school kids are very good at losing things.

But by afternoon they were friends again.

It's Wednesday morning, I have a lovely man to go kiss right now.

Spike is totally grounded as of today,
But right now I can hear him and Buffy playing happily in my room,
And I just love those sounds so much.
They love each other so much
And I love them too.

Here is the new birthday desk! But hers is in Maple, not Cherry.

"Some Assembly Required", that always cracks me up. It comes in a perfectly flat box, so I'm thinking it will "require" a bit more than "some". But Buffy is really happy and very excited.

My son "picked up" a girl from McDonald's today, with the help of his sister - Thanks, Buffy.
She comes from the very very rich neighborhood up the street. I'm thinking I should warn her from getting suckered into supporting his StarBucks habit.

Buffy said she's a "dumb blonde" who apparently didn't even know what street she lived on and had to ask her friend. Again, Thanks Buffy.

Happy Birthday Buffy! And Happy Birthday Itsy too!
Buffy is playing video games while I wait for the transmission shop to open up so I can call them. Scott checked the fluid in the Jeep, it's full, so the Jeep does need a new transmission. Hopefully the convertible's transmission just needs a little fixing. Yes, I have my tax check but I was counting on paying back my mom and some bills with it. But things happen I guess.
It has been pouring rain here. But I heard it may clear this afternoon. Then we will walk down to the little shopping center, have lunch, get a cake mix from Longs, maybe go to ColdStone Creamery. Hope it doesn't rain on the walk home, hah.

Okay, we will figure something out. Buffy has been chirpily drawing pictures for her birthday, and she's having a great day - at only 7:30am. We will figure something out.

So I got it, and my son was absolutely GA-GA over it, and Buffy and I were waiting for him to put it together so we could play...

And then "the hottest girl in school" called him, and he's been shut in his room with the phone ever since.

Buffy and I tried to hook it up, it no workee.

Buffy finally went to bed, Spike is still in his room with the phone, and I am going to be a grown-up and figure out why plugging in two plugs does not a video game make.

And the last one, Buffy at Starbucks.

Isn't she pretty in this one?

Spike doing his homework at

Spike doing his homework at Starbucks:

Oh wait, that's not his homework, that's his Harry Potter book!

The ever elusive Spike who

The ever elusive Spike who hates to have his picture taken:

I'm not sure why I

I'm not sure why I love this one, it's taken at Scott's school. And I think that for me it's just a combination of many things, including Buffy, that I love very much.

This is Buffy laying on

This is Buffy laying on her blanket at the park. I believe this was July 2003.

I don't know when I'll

I don't know when I'll be able to get Three65Pics back up and running, as I need a SuperGold membership to bring it back up and I cannot afford that right now. But I have this spiffy new place here, so until I get it up I am going to start posting some of my favorite pictures that I have been saving.

For instance:

Buffy at the Aptos Coffee Roasting Company, drinking her smoothie after a long day at the beach with Mom (June 2003)

I have one news flash for you:
Buffy cleaned her room!
ALL of it, completely, even her closet, and ALL BY HERSELF.
Those of you who haven't met Buffy may not realize the importance of this.

Okay, off to blow my nose.

I really want to write about my son and how me makes me crazy, also how work makes me crazy, but I'm still hungry and Spike is sitting right here so I think instead I'll go get something to eat and then write an entry later.
I know, I am sooooo entertaining.

I came home from work and Spike is in bed "taking a nap" and he has a fever.
:-(
But he woke up when I walked into his bedroom and said he was hungry and his forehead didn't feel too hot, just a little fever.
He doesn't have school tomorrow so he'll get a chance to rest before Thanksgiving.
I hope he feels better real soon.

Today I dropped off my two kids and one of Buffy's friends at the mall. I gave my kids $40 to do their Christmas Shopping, and $20 more to buy them all lunch.
I picked them up 90 minutes later (I was at the gym across the street) and asked them if they ate yet.
No. They didn't have enough money.
Their long, drawn out story was that they asked "the lady" how much the gift for me was, she told them, so they told her they'd get it, and gave it to her to personalize it, however when they went to ring up the sale, suddenly it was so much more.
Like, all their money more.
And there was no refunds, due to the personalization.
So I'm getting a Christmas Present from my kids that cost $60.
oh. yay.

Site
Diary
Running Diary
Pictures
Guestbook
Pischina-Ku
books

Recent Entries
Just Do it yourself
It's ballerina time
I love my daughter
Spike is EMPLOYED.
Buffy on Skates
No religious offense meant
As of noon today, Buffy will be a Senior
Buffy at the prom
Happy Mother's Day!
My favorite prom picture

Categories
Blogger Idol
Books
Computer People
Diary Update
eBay
Family
Food
Friday Five
Happy!
Health
Interesting
Kids
Lara Croft
Movies
Music
News
Nothing Special
Old Blogger Entries
Pets and Pets and Pets
Politics
Quiz
Reasons for Love
Recipes
Running
School
Scott
Site Maintenance
Sports
Television
Theatre
Vehicles
Work
Writing