It is FUCKING HOT in San Jose and especially in this house.

Goodness these pills work wonders. I'm feeling a little loopy right now - but not sick at all. Unfortunately, I only have two more doses left. I may have to make a trip out to get more. But if I can stay high enough on Tylenol Colds for the weekend I just may be able to churn out these papers. WOOOOOOO. Yay for Tylenol Colds!!!

I'm gonna kick ye olde asses of Chaucer, Spenser and Ondaatje this weekend!

Feeling much better now, got lots of work done, even cleaned house, now I just have to catch up on a couple hundred pages of reading.

Today at school I have:
Graduate Fair
Mythology
Spanish
Study of Ovid

Still have a couple hours of work to go. Busy busy day.

All doped up on allergy medication, I can mostly breathe through my nose, no sneezing (yet), my nose only runs a little, and aside from feeling pretty dopy and a little sluggish from the medicine, I think I can get through today. I did get through my Shakespeare class without too much misery. Now I get to work.

This evening is Back to School Night for Buffy. It seems I am ALWAYS sick on this night, so maybe I'm just allergic to the idea of visiting that stupid school, heh.

I can't breeeeeeeeathe....

uuuuUUUUUUGGGGHHH

I took so much cold medicine today, and nothing helped. It must be allergies. I feel like CRAP.

I was miserable this morning at work and could only put in about 50% effort. I was so miserable from blowing my nose and still having it be plugged during Mythology that I had to skip out on Spanish - AGAIN. Third time in three weeks!!!!!

Went to the store and bought allergy medicine. I took some two hours ago, I still can't breathe through my nose. I'm so fricken miserabllllllllllle.

On top of the allergies my stupid stomach has been more and more upset all day. And gassy and burpy during school. Barely ate anything. Finally made a good stew for dinner, ate a small bowl, calmed my tummy down, but then gaaaaassssssy again. OWWIE. Just downed some Pepto Bismol.

I have tea brewing. Oh woe is meeeeee. I can't even read. I'm going to have to brush up on Sparknotes for tomorrow's lecture on Jew of Malta, cuz it's gonna get read today. BOOO.

Stick a fork in me

My allergies are killllllllling me, I have also come down with a nasty cold, Robert Jordan is dead, and it seems that I left my comb in Aptos.

It has not been a good day.

Yayy! I opened my eyes this morning and instantly knew that I was all better. What a relief!!! I went to school this morning and all was well, and now I just got to work. I called Scott and the way here and guess what... he had the same thing! So I guess we ate something bad. We both were sick by Monday evening - we had had scallop and prawn tacos the night before, which I think is too much time between getting sick, or we went out to breakfast Monday. We didn't eat the same thing though, so either it was the tacos, or they cooked our breakfast in the same bacteria-ridden pan. We've eaten at both places many times before, so whatever it was just a fluke - and we are just both glad to be well again.

So now I happily start work, and then go home and study study study!

I'm on day 2 of my third stomach virus since May. This sucks. Yesterday I was able to cope with lots of pepto bismol, but then I was up again all last night, only got 2 hours of sleep, and ended up in bed all day today. I hate being sick.

Not feeling great yet, but my head is clear now. I think it was all due to "that time of the month". And maybe some stress combined. So I wasn't feeling real great for a day or too, then today it really hit me. But this evening my head is clearing, and even if my tummy doesn't feel that great, I feel much better. So Yay for me!

Germs have 11 days to evacuate

I feel like crap and it appears that I am coming down with something very unpleasant. This does not make me happy at all. However, at least I have time to get better. I don't care if I have red spots all over and throw up all over the gangplank, I am getting on that ship.

So I'm going to say that TrimSpa just doesn't work.

It was probably after pill one that it sunk in that it wasn't going to work for me anyway. I don't eat a great deal of food anyway, so for TrimSpa to work for me it would have to help me eat nothing. It would have to be like Meth. But what happened was it didn't really have any effect at all. So I'm just going to stop taking them now since I hate pills anyway (and these things are huge suckers).

My next try I think MAY be Jenny Craig or NutriSystem. Perhaps I just need some specially prepared foods. Jeez. I don't know. But I'm going to check into it. I think there's a Jenny Craig right next to my gym. Due to some new scheduling problems with Buffy's summer school I haven't been to the gym this week and I haven't weighed myself in quite awhile. I absolutely have to get activity in every single day or I don't think any progress is going to happen. I think maybe Buffy and I will walk over Yerba Buena road (a very large hill) every day. I think it's about a mile and a half to go all the way over, then we can walk back - that would make 3 miles of hill work. After I do it once and see how hard it is I may take some hand weights with me. I have to be careful with what I take on because no matter how much I go to the gym, I'm still pretty overweight and get out of breath easily - I don't want to overwork myself, just hit the level right before that, heh.

Ah well. If anyone has tried Jenny Craig or NutriSystem and actually followed the plan (with the food) let me know how it went. In the meantime, it's over hill over dale for me.

So I went to take my second pill this evening...

And I saw the expiration date on the box.

02/07

And I'm thinking... 02 = February, right? Didn't February already pass? This is 2007, right? And this is July? These pills that I just bought at a reputable chain grocery store aren't REALLY six months past the expiration date, RIGHT?

They were.

I took them back, they told me to get another box. I went to the shelf, the first box I picked up expired 06/08. That's better. I checked another box, it said 02/07. I let the store know, they seemed So! Surprised! So they are going to check the rest.

As for me, I went home and took my second pill.

Here we go...

Okay, I just took my very first TrimSpa pill. We will see what happens.

However, I do need all your support like you've been giving me, and I love to hear what has worked for you. LOVE it. So keep sending me your suggestions because I do want to read them. I don't want you to stop, I just don't want you to worry.

And HOLA to Scarlett, una otra amiga out there I never knew I had. I'm no longer a "superstar" in Diaryland, but it is always exciting to know people are out there reading what I write.

Not by a million miles am I Anna Nicole Smith

Thank you to everyone who is concerned about me taking Trimspa. I think it's a bit premature to be too concerned though. I only got a little package of them, and you take several a day, so it's probably only a week or 2 week supply. The likelihood that I'll continue with them is small as I hate pills of any kind, really don't need the extra caffeine, and I'll be off on a cruise in 26 days. I'll be bored with these pills in a week, I'm sure.

No, my body type is not changing in any way but rounder. I rarely get on the scale unless I remember at the gym, but random checks there show a rising number, and so do the tags on my always new clothes.

I keep moving. I am at the gym at least three days a week, usually five. I push myself hard when I am there. I feel it working, it just doesn't seem to be burning calories.

In four years I have gained now sixty pounds. In four years. I am 90 pounds heavier than when I got married (though I was pretty thin then and have no intention of ever being THAT thin again). My weight training class last semester seemed to slow the gain to a crawl, but I still gained.

I'm going to try the Trimspa no matter what. I'm going to try it. I am not sure what else to do, but you can be sure a doctor visit is in the future if the gain doesn't stop.

It really does seem like my metabolism has stopped. Because even if I don't eat a minimum of calories now, I don't over eat and I am probably exercising more than any of you. I am forty years old - too old to go on a 800 calorie diet and do 3 hour gym days 7 days a week JUST TO KEEP MY WEIGHT STEADY, ya know? I'm starting to feel like: What if I work extra EXTRA hard to get this weight off, and then my body won't keep it off??

That's worrisome.

And I don't have an answer for that yet. But I'm not giving up.

So I'm going to take the damn Trimspa pills for a couple weeks, or even up until the cruise, then we'll see what happens. The ship has a gym there and a running track, so I am excited to to keep on exercising there, we have Plenty-O-Activities planned while we're in port, and not even a cruise is going to turn me into a big eater because I'm just not.

In the meantime, ya'll don't worry so much about me. You know I have sense. I may not use it when it comes to boys (thank God Scott came along), but when it comes to my body I am pretty smart. So don't worry, and I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Good Housekeeping Magazine

Last night at the grocery store I also picked up a Good Housekeeping magazine because it has something like "7 women who lost 2000 pounds without surgery!" or something similar. And I like those stories because they are pretty inspiring to get your butt moving.

Some women used Weight Watchers, some Slim Fast, one lady just started jumping rope: only 10 skips the first day until now she does 2500 each day in less than an hour. They are ideas at least, and I know the jumping rope does work (I lost all pregnancy weight by jumping rope and continued losing ten more pounds in the first three months being pregnant with Buffy). It's just tough to jump rope with giant boobs, haha. I don't want to have to wear a sports bra all day every day - then again, I may try.

But anyway, I bought the magazine with approval from Spike. Spike is so helpful with everything, I love him. He was reading the labels of all the diet pills I was looking at, expressing his concern with each one and asking questions. He is always very game to help or participate in anything I want to do, especially if it is for my health. I just love that boy to death.

I'll be back in the pool tomorrow morning at 7:30am. I'm not giving that up, no sirree.

My choke pills

At the grocery store I picked up some Trimspa. I feel like such a sell-out. But I'm going to try it. The side effects sound better than that stupid Alli stuff (crapping your pants) (No, I never tried Alli). I just have to make sure I drink lots of water so the pill doesn't expand in my esophagus. Heh. I can drink water though. Also, it says it may cause "feelings of anxiety" which most people will tell you I don't need any extra of.

But regardless, I'm trying it. I can't figure out what else to do. The gym doesn't seem to be helping. I feel the cardio effects, and I feel stronger, but the weight is not going down. It's like my metabolism just stopped three years ago. The pounds just keep piling on. I don't eat a lot and I don't eat many bad foods. There are certainly ways to cut down, but not really enough to make much of a difference. So I'm going to take that extra step and just try some Trimspa.

It's certainly better than crapping my pants, that's for sure.

Ow. Ow. OWWW.

It's hard enough trying to get contact lenses onto your eyeballs when your allergies are killing you.

But if you forget that you just rubbed lotion all over your hands and THEN try to put contact lenses onto your eyeballs, you are thisclose from blinding yourself.

Ow times infinity.

Bless me.

I can't stop SNEEZING this morning. Couldn't get to sleep last night because I could not breathe. Allergies suck.

Luckily the majority of my blood is italian and american indian, so I don't burn easily and I have to really really burn myself to cause major damage. This morning most of the burn has settled into a tan, but my thighs still hurt and my face and arms hurt a tiny bit. But I feel really dehydrated and wiped out. Far from the rejuvenation I felt under the sun at the beach yesterday, haha. I guess the gym is out - AGAIN. Blah! Stupid Stupid Stupid!!! SOOOOO frustrating to know it's your own fault!

On the other hand, The Amazing Race is on my DVR right now, so I'm gonna watch it! Who has my coffee?

I hate when there is no one to yell at but myself

My thighs are in so much stupid burning pain right now. If you see a lady walking through the San Jose County Recorders office tomorrow wearing shorts with ice cream smeared all over her thighs, that would be me.

(Okay, if you really do see that lady? It won't be me. But I'll be the lady wishing I had the guts to smear ice cream all over her burned up thighs.)

I just weighed myself on the house scale and it came out ten pounds less than the gym scale says. Heh. I don't know which one is correct, but I'm still fat, haha.

And then at 11:30 last night I started violently throwing up. Don't worry, we can't really trace it to the gelato because Spike had the same kind. But I sat on the toilet with the trash can in front of me - VIOLENTLY - throwing up until 4:30am. This morning I was happy to be done with throwing up, but was so week I've been in bed all day. I've been drinking lots of water but couldn't eat food. Now, 24 hours since the last time I ate I finally got down half a cheese & tomato sandwich. Yuck, being sick is not nice.

***Warning! Grossness ahead!***
Aside from school, Buffy and I had Taco Bell Saturday night and I have been sick ever since. I got sick in the middle of eating my taco salad and couldn't finish anything else. Ever since then I've been having bathroom and nausea problems, with everything coming out one end and threatening to come up the other. Gross. I should put a warning on these posts. Let me do that right now...
Okay, done. Anyway, I figured it would be over in 24 hours, but now here I am at my desk still fighting whatever gross bug has invaded my stomach. I feel like I've been poisoned. The good news is, this may finally get me over my unhealthy love of Taco Bell Yumminess. Because I really don't want to see smell or taste Taco Bell right now.

I go back to feeling nauseous now.

Also, I went to the gym and swam 80 laps today! WOOOOO!!!

Just say yes to drugs.
Found the pain killers and they worked WONDERS.
So now I feel ALL better and am happily working away.
I just hope I don't have to keep taking them for very long.

Make it STOPPPPP.

I'm at work, I feel good, no more sick, but MY BACK IS KILLING ME, it's just relentless, and I'm kind of beyond crying about it now, if it doesn't stop hurting soon I'm going to start yelling instead.

I gotta go find some pain killers in the First Aid thing. I'll be back.

Okay, as of right now, I am actually feeling a little better, and things are not throbbing so much. So that's good.

.

I'm better, i'm here at wrok, my hips and right knee and lower back are KILLING me but I'm here. I want to go home but I'm sick of being in bed and the house is hot and I just thought it would be better here but it's not.

missed swim finsls
our team won
its char's birthday today,happy birthdya charleen!!!!1
still sick, head is clearer but I cant stay awak and everything really hurts.
since thursday at lunch i have onlyu had one jamba juice
everything i try to eat tastes so bad
its the weight loss sickness, woooo.
okay me go sleep now.

I have been very very sick for two complete days now and I have a midterm essay due at midnight and I just can't do it. I don't remember ever being this sick since I had that eColi poisoning. Tomorrow I go to the hospital if I'm not better. I'm going to miss swim finals. :-(
I don't know what's wrong, I've never been SO sick for so long. Last night I came home and fell on the bed and sweated off the fever. This morning I thought I was getting better but couldn't eat anything and then got worse and worse the rest of the day. Finally I made myself go to jamba juice (even though I couldn't barely see and was dizzy) and after a few drinks I feel at least awake. So I'm going to try to write my essay (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and then turn it in and go back to bed. I'm going to be really really sad if I miss swim finals tomorrow.

So I may have mentioned that after wearing glasses for 30 years, I just LOST my glasses for the first time... sometime last month, I have no idea when or where. I think maybe on our vacation in Volcano, but I really have no idea. I usually wear contacts, but wear glasses when my eyes are tired, or I'm too lazy to put my contacts in, or when my allergies kick up in Aptos. So suddenly they have disappeared, and right at the time that I'm on my last pair of contact lenses too.

So of course I waited until one of those tore before I made an appointment. So I've been walking around and trying to read for school with only one worn out contact in my eye. Let me mention that I am more than legally blind without corrective lenses. My poor eyes have been STRAINING to see this week.

I went to my appointment today, just to get glasses, which would have to be ordered ($205 AFTER insurance, DAMN) and when I put my one contact back in after the exam...

It disappeared. I guess it never actually made it into my eye. I sat back in the chair and looked at the blur in front of me, and blinked my eyes a few times, and then thought... why can't I see? OMIGOD my contact isn't in my eye! The doctor and eye combed the room, but it vanished.

So she had to sell me a pair of spares with no real contact exam yet. Heh. So now I have another appointment (which I needed anyway) to get fitted for the contacts. Dammit. I still cannot believe I lost my glasses.

We all know as soon as the check is cashed my old glasses are going to turn up, right? Like, right on my bathroom sink, or right next to my bed. Where they always are.

But my new frames by Coach are very cute. The internet picture does not do them justice. They are Cute.

Spent the weekend first at the swim meet (we won) and then in Aptos just napping and reading and napping and recovering from my cold. I have a slight cough but no big deal, mostly I just feel WAY better.

I finished reading The Devil Wears Prada and I have to say... not impressed. I'll see the movie cuz it looks cute, but the book was boring. And to my surprise, I got a lot of comments as I carried it around, and I didn't find anyone who had read it and actually liked it.

Now I'm reading The Nanny Diaries, only on page 11 and already it's better.

I have more to say, but it's late and you're gonna have to wait.

Still feel like crap and now I'm coughing up chunks of yellow gunk.
Thanks for asking.

:-P

gawd I feel like crap today.

We can add to those symptoms an immediate extreme restleness, and some minor shakes. The tingling freaks me out. This is crazy, I HATE this mess.

uh oh... watch out...

See, I never did go to the doctor because sure enough after three days of my period *BLIP* I was all better. And now I'm due to start today, but I haven't yet, but I have all these vitamins ready to pop at the first sign of a problem. And just now I got some bad news over the phone - nothing to worry about, it's no big deal AT ALL - but I could feel this time how it set me off, and I'm not a raging mess but I could feel the depression hit me again. And then the heaviness in my stomache and up my neck and now the tingles are going all around my arms and legs and feet again. All within ten minutes. And now my head is getting all thick, and oh yuck I don't have time to be a raging lunatic this weekend - can you imagine my essay for the Writing Skills Test? "SHOVE THIS F-ING TEST UP YOUR F-ING ARSE, I HAVE THINGS TO DO AND KIDS TO YELL AT!!!!!"

Heh.

So I'm assuming my period will start any second now, and I am also now absolutely sure this problem isn't so much stress related as it is hormone related. It MUST have something to do with the time of the month - although it happened to be set off during some bad news, it's too much of a coincidence that it only happens from Day 1 of my period through Day 3 of my period and then completely shuts off as if someone threw a switch.

For now I'm going to TRY to take ya'll's advice... Vitamins, TRY to cut down the sugar (I need it for my coffee and we have friggin chocolate hazelnut cookies at home, HeLLOOO!), and my own medicine of just trying to sleep as much of it off as possible. Maybe I'll even get a Femme Boost at Jamba Juice on the way home - Hey, WHATEVER works I say. Better than terrorizing the kids all weekend. And Myself.

Okay, I'm off to get water for vitamins. Fun's over for a few days.

I've done a lot of work this week, and I'm tired and bored right now. Sorry Charleen, but I am NOT working at the moment.

Today I should have the final disc of The Amazing Race in the mail - I CANNOT WAIT.

We watched the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and it wasn't really all that bad. In fact, the tone of it was probably closer to a Roald Dahl story, but I didn't like the back story on Willy Wonka's father that was added in - I mean, nice touch, but I don't believe that was in the book, and I hate when they do that.

I wasn't impressed with Mr. and Mrs. Smith. If Angelina and Brad hadn't been in it I would have hated it.

15 more minutes and I can go home.

You think I'll start running today? Maybe...
I can't lie, the heart thing worries me, even before my dad died, but especially after he died and then REALLY especially after my mother sat down on the couch and died out of the blue. Hearts are unpredictable. I don't really want mine going out yet.

Just to be safe, Charleen? email Meg at DivineReality to get my passwords if anything ever happens to me.

I need to change the trust beneficiary for my life insurance to Scott, since it used to be my mother. And as soon as all the inheritance comes in I'm going to do my living trust. Gotta be prepared so things go smoothly, also I don't want excess money going to lawyers or anywhere else. Give it all to the kids. With Scott in charge, heh.

That was probably me trying to convince myself to not run. But today I feel good. I weigh more than I ever have, but at the moment I feel fine, so I'm going to go for it. If I die I die, right?

I need to do my nails when I get home. After I go run and then make dinner. Then I watch Amazing Race and do my nails. Yeah. That's it.

Okay, enough. I'm done here.

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