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Instead of posting about it twice, here is my SJMetBlogs article about the movie shoot yesterday. There are also a couple more pictures posted on Flickr. Because they were using my phone as a prop I wasn't able to take a lot of pictures but you get the idea. And yes, it was a real movie. I was just glad that everything went as well as it did.

Phoebe-cat also helped in the shoot. She usually spends her day sitting in a chair on the front porch; this way she gets pets from anyone going into or out of the house. I was a little concerned that I would have to lock her in a room because she's so friendly I didn't want her walking around during the shoot. But during the first half when they were shooting towards the street Phoebe just sat in her chair and got pets from the actors (who were playing tough guys) as they walked from the porch during every scene. Then during the second half when they turned the cameras toward the house, she jumped down and ran over to the side where I and the crew were. She sat there quietly and watched from there.

She's a smart little cat, and wasn't diva-like at all, heh.

I don't know why I'm so whiped out today. I only watched the shoot for three hours, I didn't do any of the work. And they left after to go shoot limo scenes until 1am. It sounds like things went well. I'm really happy for them and can't wait to see the finished movie.

In the meantime I'll get to see their first film, Around the Bay, on June 12. Can't wait!

Oh, also... Last night Kathleen Powell, cofounder of Cinequest told me she LOVED MY WRITING...

*swoon*

*DIES*

It's a real movie weekend

You can read about last night's Cinequest Happy Hour here.

Now I'm frantically cleaning up the front of my house because it's going to be used in some scenes of a new movie by Alejandro Adams. Visit Amity Movie to see more info about this film. Alex is the writer/director of Canary, a film from Cinequest 19 which prompted strong reactions from everyone who saw it, and the highly regarded Around the Bay which will show at the Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum on June 12. It will be accompanied by Jarrod Whaley's short documentary Passion Flower, a film that looks like it should not be missed by anyone.

So anyway, Alex and wife Marya are friends of mine from Cinequest, and they asked if they could use the front of my house for some scenes, and why not? The only problem: yeah, we still have Christmas lights up, so what? heh. So I'm taking the lights down, and scrubbing the fake snow off the front window, and sweeping up the porch - nothing big, just getting ready. The film crew will show up around 3pm and I'll be taking some pictures and observing so I can write up an article for SJ MetBlogs.

So that's my day today. I better get to it!

I noticed recently that the carpet at the SJ Rep is in HORRIBLE condition. Thank goodness someone else noticed too - If The Rep can raise half the money through donations, they'll receive a grant to pay for the rest of it.

The SJ Rep gets called to the carpet

This carpet is REALLY NEEDED. If you're a South Bay resident and can donate a few dollars, please do so!!

Bye Bye massive breasts

Well, it has recently become apparent that the gigantic boobs I had acquired in the last couple years are not going to survive the whole getting-in-shape thing. It was nice while they lasted.

Already my two brand new $50 bras are too big. Luckily I have so many other bras from before they got gigantic, so I have lots of almost new bras to wear. The boobs have lost a cup size and about two inches.

So it's a trade-off. Which would I rather have - Big boobs or a waist?
*
*
*
*
*
A WAIST, of course!!! Bye Bye boobs, see ya later, hope you never get that gigantic again unless I pay good money for it. And I wouldn't, cuz big boobs are sort of inconvenient.

Sixteen pounds down in six weeks. Body shape changing dramatically. Was wearing size 22 pants, now very comfortable in size 16. Was wearing size 1X in tops or XL in Mens shirts. Now a plain ole Large in regular womens.

Sorry Boobs, but I'm going to have to reject that reunion. Not going to happen.

There's been much discussion all day about the Prop 8 decision - which really, really and truly, has me at the end of my patience rope, I mean, I couldn't possibly even write about it for San Jose Metblogs because I'm too emotionally invested and irate about the whole thing to speak really rationally.

Catherine made a comment here that we just won't ever understand because it's just not understandable. And she's right - except why then is it so understandable to the Pro-Prop 8 people? It's all ignorance and hate on their part, that's why, and ignorance is always justifiable in the eyes of those under its spell. There is no rational explanation that is not rooted in ignorance and hate - and don't even pull open those bibles without explaining why you aren't following every other rule listed IN THAT VERY SAME CHAPTER.

Within minutes of the decision there was a news interview with an Anti-Prop 8 woman, and she reminded (all of us) that a good deal of the support for Prop 8 came not from people who were against gay marriage per se, but who had bought into the whole "teaching our kids about homosexuality" lie that was all over our televisions at that time. But that is also rooted in some really extreme ignorance and fear - fear again bred from ignorance, and I just have a hard time forgiving that any more. I just can't count that as an excuse when it then goes on to affect the lives of millions.

Or the people who voted for Prop 8 because they just didn't care either way. So you voted to take AWAY rights because you just didn't care? Scott himself told me he could care less who had the right to get married. I told him he better FUCKING VOTE AGAINST IT then. And yeah, I was pretty much in exactly that mood at the time. I feel strongly about this.

And then there were the majority of the Pro-Prop 8 people on TV today, ranting and railing against the protesting gays and non-gays in the streets. "They have their right to their opinions, and so do we!" NYAAH. Well see, there's a big difference between our opinions. MY opinion doesn't take away a really basic, uncomplicated, decent right between two people who want to LOVE each other. YOUR opinion wants to descriminate against a very large group of people because you don't like what they do behind closed doors.

I don't like the ignorant, vile-filled drivel that spews from the Pro-Prop 8 people, maybe I should come up with my own constitutional amendment that says hate-filled, right-wing fundamentalist ignorami are not allowed to sign their names to any petitions to any legal documents. I DON'T LIKE WHAT THEY SIGN THEIR NAMES TO, so it's my right to express that in our constitution, RIGHT? Makes as much sense as anything else they do.

So I'm not taking it back, not that anyone has complained about what I've said at any of the various writing sites I've posted on today. And I'm not sorry if I've offended you. At this point I would have a very hard time being friends with anyone who tried to justify to me why gay marriage should be banned. I couldn't be friends with someone who tried to take away rights from another race and this is NO DIFFERENT. You should BE ASHAMED of yourself if you agree with this decision.

Patience lost

I'm tired of being politely understanding about this.

Here is my non-PC view of matters:

I don't care what your religion is, you are an ignorant piece of shit if you support Prop 8.

It's a great day for Haters, Ignorant Pussies, Right-Wing Christian Fundamentalists, and Stupid Fucking Rednecks in California.

California Supreme Court upholds gay marriage ban

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090526/ap_on_re_us/us_gay_marriage

Just too tired to type anything today. I think I'll skip gym tomorrow and just rest.

This morning I rode the Expresso Bike for 11 miles really hard, and then walk/ran an uphill 5K. Including an elliptical warmup and a walking cooldown, it was nonstop cardio for 93 minutes.

The rest of the day I sat on couch. Because I deserved it.
:)

And now I fall dead asleep.

LONG weekend.

Went to Aptos on Friday, where it was freezing and I had packed mainly shorts and tank tops, so I wore the same running pants and gym shirt for 48 hours. Watched "Night at the Museum" which was better than I expected. Drank a lot of wine. And then came home around noon today.

But no time for rest! Took a shower, went to gym, Bike sprinted 5 miles, ran 2.5 miles. Went home, took another shower. Drove to Morgan Hill for Scott's niece's graduation party from law school. Had a great time with the family, enjoyed myself very much (lots of wine too of course) and met Scott's father again. We met for the first time last Christmas but he didn't remember. That's okay, he's pretty up there in age, and I think I probably look a lot different now. But... it soon became clear that something, I'm not sure what, but something wasn't going right in his head, whether it was the drink or the age or what, but I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure that he thought he and I were together. That is, Scott's dad may have thought I was HIS girlfriend. Like, he even invited Scott to come visit us in Texas. And asked him if he was okay with... us. And I'm sitting there with a smile like, "Um, okay... Wait, What?"

Aside from that, when I first arrived, there was a big to-do about my weight. Scott's neice is my facebook friend, so she knew I had lost weight, but seemed surprised and pleased anyway. But her dad, my former boss, took one look at me outside and did a double take: "WOAH, did you lose a lot of weight???" And he was very proud of me. And everyone was very proud of the triathlon that I'll be doing in September. I invited Renee, but she'll be studying for the bar exam and doesn't think she'll have time to train. But Scott's aunt, in her 60's, was very excited about it. So she might join me.

It was a good party and a nice time with pseudo-family and friends.

I did have a surprise this weekend though. For the last year whenever Scott and I walk out of the Aptos Coffee Shop I would see my reflection in the window of the very cute little dress shop next door. And every single time I would cringe in horror at what I saw. So Saturday I saw myself and thought "How cute, the warped glass makes me look thin again," and then I thought, Wait, it never was warped before, and then I saw my reflection was holding my rain jacket closed around me - and that jacket never even closed before, it was always too small and never came close to meeting around my body. I looked down at myself, and sure enough, my jacket was overlapped across my body. I started laughing. "What?" said Scott. "LOOK!" I pointed at the window. "I have a WAIST!" He just laughed at me, but I couldn't help but look in amazement at the COMPLETELY DIFFERENT girl looking back at me. There was an actual waist on that girl. Instead of this completely round elephant who had been looking back at me, there was a regular, normal sized and shaped girl looking back at me.

And so I became best friends with the mirror this weekend. Every chance I could get I was back in front of the mirror making sure that there was indeed a waist on my reflection. And there was!

Ah now it's sleep time.

Back on November 11, 2008, I was tagged in FaceBook with the following:

RULES:
1. List 25 things you want to do while you’re alive. They don't have to be the top 25, just 25. Don't list obvious or simplistic ones like "Fall in love" or "Find true happiness".
2. List them exactly in the order you think of them
3. Tag the first 25 people who come to mind. Tag the last 25 people who posted on your wall. Tag the last 25 people you talked to in real life. IT DOESN'T MATTER! Just tag 25 people, or 26 if you're feeling rebellious, or 27...oh whatever just list AT LEAST 25 people.
4. Ask each of them to do this survey.
5. Upload a random picture. Do not explain it whatsoever.
6. No cheating!

And so I did. And since I wrote that list, the things just keep getting checked off or are deeply in progress:

THINGS I WANT TO DO IN LIFE:
*In the order I thought them up

1. Finish my BA in English Literature (DONE!)
2. Get a Masters in any subject
3. Live to see my children become happy, healthy, self-supportive adults
4. Buy a convertible Mercedes (DONE!)
5. Live on my own in my own little condo with no kids, no man, no anybody, for at least a few months of my life
6. Visit Italy: Milan, Tuscany, Venice, Rome
7. Visit Tokyo where my parents were married
8. Live in any other country for at least six months: first choice Italy
9. Live in Mexico or Spain for at least 3 months and live on tapas and ponche. And sex, of course.
10. Go on a cruise all by myself
11. Get back to my normal weight and I would like to accomplish this in the next 12 months (20% there and there's no way I won't finish this goal)
12. Have some sort of writing, any writing at all, published (SJMetBlogs may not pay me, but that's my byline)
13. Wear stiletto heals – and look smashing (Haven't worn them yet, but I sure did buy them!)
14. Work for Cinequest (Working on it!!)
15. Run a marathon – w/Team in Training of course
16. Complete a sprint triathlon (next Summer?) (To do on September 27th!)
17. Live in a house on the beach
18. Ride Amtrak around the United States
19. One year go to Mark Jacquet’s famous Halloween party (Planning on this year!)
20. Visit Barcelona
21. Visit Australia
22. Own an Expresso Bike
23. Play the oboe in a group again
24. Play in a pit orchestra again
25. Get a job that uses my degree (Working on this too!)

I'm happy I made that list. It really does reflect what I wanted to do, and I love that I can now check things off. I am really excited about a lot of things. I can't wait to see what happens.

Give me my frakkin' medal.

So, busy day yesterday!

I drove to school with Buffy and friend Mark. I wore one of my brand new old skirts and a pretty blouse, and my red heels - unfortunately, with the gown on no one really saw me, but that's fine.
:)
So first I had to run to the student bookstore to pick up my Cum Laude medal. I knew I only had so long in my heels before I started limping around, but I felt like I could do what was required. So the three of us went to the bookstore and went downstairs to the warehouse below. I found the desk and asked for my medal. They pulled out the list and looked for my name.

And looked, and looked, and looked.

"You're not on the list, I'm sorry," said the girl.

"Oh, I'm on the list," I said.

"I'm sorry, your name isn't on here."

"I have a 3.805 gpa. I am getting a medal."

The girl and her supervisor looked at Buffy holding my gown that was already laden with honors regalia. "Can we just give it to her?" whispered one to the other. "We can't," the other said.

"Look, I have a 3.805 gpa, I know I'm getting that medal. Graduation is in 40 minutes."

So here is what we did:
She wrote down the phone number for the graduation advisor - the same one who won't post my fucking degree because grades won't be posted until June 12 even though I FINISHED CLASSES LAST DECEMBER - and told me to call her. I did. Got a voicemail that she's out until Monday. The girls debated again. They wrote down the number to the graduation advisor supervisor, Delia. This lady answered, and she verified I was getting a medal (DUHHH). But the girls said Delia had to give her okay to their manager in a different office. They pointed across the warehouse. Buffy and Mark and I RAN to the other end of the warehouse with Delia on my cell phone.

No one there.

We ran back.

"Can we please just give it to her?" the girl asked again. "No." They said they had to have manager permission to give me my medal. I gave them the phone to talk to Delia. After a few minutes of talking they pulled out a medal wrapped in plastic, handed it to some poor clerk, and told him to escort us upstairs to a different manager's office. The four of us RAN upstairs and across the bookstore to an empty office that had a sign saying "Jen no esta aqui." The poor clerk looked like he was afraid I was going to stab him.

I wasn't. But I was about ready to grab the medal and run.

A different lady came over, wondering who these civilians were who were lurking around the management office. We all explained what happened.

"But are you on the list? You have to be on the list. Have they verified you're on the list?"

I realized Delia was still on the cell phone I was holding. I thrust it at her. She took the phone and they discussed the situation. "Veronica will be back on Tuesday, can you come back then?"

"I am graduating in 20 minutes."

More discussion.

Finally she hung up, gave me some papers and a pen, and told me to write my name, student ID, gpa and date, and sign it. I did.

I got my medal.

And we ran back to the graduation area, with Buffy and Mark dressing me in my gown and regalia as we ran.

I sat down in a folding chair, looked down... and saw skin peeling off my feet. My precious ruby red heels had not expected to be running up and down stairs and all around offices. I had promised my feet we were only walking a little bit that day.

This morning I have bandaids covering the oozing holes where I used to have skin.

But I got my medal.

HAPPY GRADUATION DAY TO MEEEEEEEEE

I officially graduate on Thursday, May 21, at 4:30pm, WOOOOO!!!!

Not that they've posted my degree online yet so I could be officially accepted to grad school, but whatever. My name is in the program, *I* know I'm graduating, AND it says that I'm graduating "With Honors". Of COURSE.

Was discussing with ex-husband the latest trouble Buffy's in (she wore a spaghetti strap dress to school when she knows it's against dress code, I've warned her oh-so-many times, and today the school called and said I had to leave work and bring her a new outfit - so I dropped off some jeans and a long-sleeve wool sweater even though it's 80 degrees outside; THAT'll teach her), and then I told him that she couldn't go to his house on Thursday because it's my graduation.

"Congratulations," he said, "It only took you what, 32 years?"

"Um.... what??"

"It only took you 32 years to graduate college? It's about time."

Wow, that's some scarily inaccurate not-even-close math he's got going there. So I told him, "This is my second degree and I'm working on my third, how many did you have again?"

"Who, me? I don't got any degrees."

Right. May 21 also would be our 21 year anniversary, so THANK GAWD it's now something else.

It's my graduation! And I'm ready!!

So with all the discovering of clothes in my closet that haven't fit me in years and years, I decided to go through every single piece in the closet and the dresser and start cleaning it all out.

I sort of had a lot of clothes.

You see, I have skinny clothes, for Fall and Winter.
I gained weight, I had a new wardrobe for Fall and Winter.
I switched jobs requiring different dress, new wardrobe for Fall and Winter.
More weight gain, new wardrobe for Fall and Winter.
Increased weight gain, new wardrobe for Fall and Winter.

I'm not sure how I managed to have all these clothes from so long ago. But it was fun going through them, for a lot of reasons.

First it was fun because there were SOOOOOOOOOOOO many cute things that fit me now. At the top of my weight gain it was impossible to find cute clothes. It was just a matter of clothing yourself, covering yourself. But now I have actual CUTE things.
And then it was fun because there were so many really cute things that I WILL fit into again. So many beautiful skirts and sweaters. So pretty.

And then there were memories with some. This is the sweater my mom gave me for my birthday the year before she died (keep). These are all the colorful pants I wore after I started weightlifting and lost a lot of weight before my gall bladder operation (toss). OMG these are the cute little skirts I used to wear when I visited Will (keep). Here's a pair of jeans that will fit me now - OH! They're Bedazzled! (TOSS) This is the sweater I wore the night the house burned down and I had to wear it for 48 hours after. It still fits and it's a nice sweater, but every time I see it I think "That's the sweater I wore the night the house burned down." It got tossed. Here are the clothes I wore for my mother's funeral (toss).

I also apparently have kept every single piece of loungerie that I have ever owned since I was 18 years old (!!!!!!!!!). Here is what I wore when I had Armando come over to my house (age 18) to tell him this was the last time, the end (HAH). Here is the gown I wore on our wedding night. Here are the summer silk shorties I used to wear around the house when Jason J came to visit. Here are the very naughty lacy things I wore for Will. Crazy. Really crazy. I just keep all of it in one drawer, and that drawer never gets opened, so they've just sat there all these years.

I tossed all of it.

And then I started going through drawers that I knew had my smaller clothes. And I found my running clothes from ten years ago. OH, I love you running shorts! I love you running tank! I have missed you running pants! I love you so much cute running shirts! AND Hello to all my running bibs!! It was really thrilling. Even more so because they were no longer forgotten memories, they were actual running clothes that I can ALMOST wear again.

I filled a lot of bags, with fat clothes and just plain crazy clothes (Bedazzled jeans? REALLY Pischina???) I kept my beautiful sweaters from this winter because they're practically new, I love them, and you can wear big sweaters. I have a lot of beautiful cashmere sweaters from my mother that I need to take to get cleaned, and they'll be ready for me next winter. I have a LOT of shorts that fit me, just in time.

It was good to go through everything. It felt good to toss the loungerie. Toss the funeral clothes. Toss the ugly fat clothes. Toss the clothes that remind me of the fire, or even of bad times with Joe. I think especially it was good to toss the fat clothes. It almost felt like preparing for graduation. This weight came on during school, school is over and now it's coming off. Time to get rid of everything. Toss the old books and notepads, toss the fat clothes.

Toss the funeral clothes. Toss the fire clothes.

It's interesting that my happiest times, when I was with Will and Tom, those are my skinniest, cutest, most beautiful clothes. I still have a lot of them. Some I tossed, but I dressed pretty classically at work, so most are still beautiful and current.

I don't know why I never tossed some of this before. I can't really believe that all these clothes made it here after the fire. I know the neighbors washed everything we had and packed them up for us, I would bet that if I had gone through them myself they would have been tossed six years ago. So I guess I just took what they gave, brought them here and hung them all up again. Amazing. But now they're finally gone.

I also realized I was a very stubborn weight gainer. I COULD NOT BELIEVE how many items there were that still had the tags on. UNBELIEVABLE. They weren't my skinny clothes, they're kind of in between. They fit me perfectly now (brand new clothes!!). It appears that as I gained weight, I refused to believe that I wasn't going to lose it, and just bought clothes that I thought I SHOULD fit into. Yeah, smart move, Pischina. On the other hand, NEW CLOTHES!
:)

And so everything is cleaned out. Bad memories are gone. Good memories are intact. And I have lots and lots of new old shorts and running clothes now. I packed up the old fat Pischina that put EVERTHING into school, and now we're getting back the new thin graduated popular runner again.

I have missed her so much. I'm so glad she's coming back.

My Happy Friday Night

So I actually left the house last night, went out and hung out with friends. A LOT of friends.

I've been promoting the Cinequest Happy Hours but had not actually been to one myself. I wasn't planning to go to this one because I had plans with Scott, but Mike Rabehl from Cinequest twisted my arm (not all that much), and then I found out some other Cinequest friends would be there, so I decided to go.

Unfortunately Scott had to back out at the last minute, but I didn't mind going alone since I was going to see a kind of seperate group of friends. I left work and got to Mezcal around 5 or 5:30 and began the Bloody Marys. I only had two, but from what I remember, I may have had one too many. I talk a lot more under the influence of Bloody Marys. :)

I also took pictures and posted about it at CQ Central.

So then my plans were to see the Putnam County Spelling Bee at the SJ Rep. This is a little musical I had never heard of, but had received some Tony awards, and my professor said it was really good. I got... FREE TICKETS... because I write for SJ MetBlogs and when Scott couldn't go my Cinequest friend Marya (producer/actress of Canary, producer/editor of Around the Bay) snapped up the extra one. I knew I would find someone to take the ticket, but honestly she would have been my first choice, so I was really happy to go with her. I may have still been under the influence of the last Bloody Mary when I met up with her at 7:30, but hopefully I wasn't obnoxious. Hee.

So we went to the press table and were handed a giant folder of press info and our two free tickets. I looked to see where in the balcony they were going to put us and then stopped short - "Center Orchestra???" I read. For all the times I've been to the SJ Rep, I didn't even know which doors led to Center Orchestra. So they showed us the way and the usher helped us to our seats... which were DEAD CENTER, about ten rows back. I have seen like a ZILLION shows at the Rep, and have NEVER sat in these seat. So Marya and I just sat there giggling like fools about how lucky we were, and how crazy and awesome this whole thing was.

And it was a really great show. You can read my review of it at SJ Metblogs. When it was over we still laughed at our crazy good fortune - free tickets to the best seats in the house! Also I was just overjoyed to have a friend who was as enthusiastic about going to theatre as I am, now I don't have to drag Buffy to things we both know she won't like (she sure would have liked this show though, and so would Scott). So from now on, when I need a friend to accompany me to the theatre, I'm calling Marya first.

And then we both went home to our families. I was home by 10:30. Not even a late night, but so full of fun and friends and more fun. I'm definitely going to more of the Cinequest Happy Hours, and I wish the SJ Rep season didn't just end. The next show is in August - but you can be sure I'll be hoping for tickets!!

Being a writer turns out to be pretty awesome after all. I highly recommend you all get into it. Also, getting out of the house sometimes is pretty cool too.
:)

Happy Saturday!

Had a great time last night.
I'm off to the gym right now but I'll write about Friday night when I get back.

Meanwhile you can read what I wrote about my Cinequest Happy Hour HERE, and the Putnam County Spelling Bee at the SJ Rep HERE.

And now off to the gym!

Of course, all this fun means Saturday morning will be taken up with writing a blurb about the Cinequest Happy Hour for CQ Central, and a review of the play for SJ MetBlogs, and then fit in a long workout at the gym.

But... Writing and Working Out, isn't that what I love to do best?

My Class Ring!!!

My Class Ring was just delivered! Isn't it beautiful??? I LOVE it.

AND, I had bought it for my pinky finger... but it's too big! It fits my ring finger now, perfectly!!!

No staying home on Friday night for me!

Today is going to be Pischina-Fun-Day and I'm not even planning any trouble!
;)

First I was given tickets to go see the Putnam County Spelling Bee at the San Jose Rep so I can review it for SJ MetBlogs. So it was already shaping up to be a fun evening. The kids didn't want to go so I was going to take Scott, but now he has to back out so it looks like I'm taking one of my Cinequest friends. The show is supposed to be lots of fun so I'm happy I get to share with someone!! And you know what? Also happy to have a friend who is as happy to go see a musical as I am.

And then before that, from 4:30pm-7pm is the Cinequest Happy Hour, a little event they're having about twice a month year round now. It's downtown San Jose at Mezcal if you would like to go. I wasn't going to go, but certain Cinequest friends convinced me. And now I'm really excited to go see some of my once-a-year friends and also to get out of the house and have fun.

And on top of that, I had to clean out my closet and pull out some clothes I haven't seen in a couple years so I could find some things that fit! I'm 2-3 sizes down (still fat, but much less so!) and my current clothes will not stay on my hips. I refuse to galavant around downtown holding my pants up with my fist. But my clothes! So pretty! I forgot what pretty clothes I used to have. I'm not down to the REALLY pretty clothes yet, but it's nice to have something cute to wear.

I am a happy girl today, yes I am.

I'm trying not to fill up this blog with all my weight loss statistics so I don't drive everyone away with boredom, but I had a really great milestone at the gym today.

I got there just a little later than usual this morning and every single darn cardio machine was filled up. Expresso Bikes: Taken! Ellipticals: Taken! Treadmills: Taken! Well, all but one. The one treadmill that no gym fan is turned towards, haha. I had wanted to do a long bike run today, but obviously plans had to change.

So I hopped on the treadmill and decided to run the 5K loop. My running is really slow right now, well, mostly it's a lot of running, then walking to get my heart rate down, and then fast walking up hills and running. I've been working really hard on it to get back up to par. Still though, my 5K times have been running around 44 minutes.

So today I hopped on and realized that I really never just start off on the treadmill, I'm always on it AFTER the Expresso or AFTER my weight. So I walked for around 2 minutes, 3.8 speed, and then moved it up to 4.5 That was really easy so after a few minutes I moved it up to 4.8 and left it there for about half the run. I was feeling great and not breathing hard or anything, but by 1.5 miles I was getting bored and was fixing to be on the treadmill for 45 minutes or more. So I upped it to 5.0, but I just wanted the run to be OVER, so I upped it to 5.5 and I think I left it there (I'm not sure if I went to 5.8). This isn't fast for a lot of people, but for my little short legs it really is, and I was puffing hard. There were so many times when I wanted to slow it down and walk, but more than anything I wanted the run finished and then I listened to Jillian Michaels yelling at me "You're NOT going to DIE," and I kept watching the little red lights go around the track wishing they would just go FASTER so I could get OFF the damn thing, and I looked at the running clock...

And I realized I was heading for a record.

Not an all time record by any means, but I haven't really gone below 40-44 since before I've been with Scott, so that's six years at least. I sucked it all up, pumped my legs as hard as I could and forced the air in and out of my lungs so long and hard the guy next to me kept staring. For the record, I was out running him by a long shot. I was sweating all over, dripping all into my eyes and clogging my ears, and all I could think about was finishing the run and getting that time.

And at 37.45 exactly, I finished. I smacked that speed button down as hard as I could to get it down to a very slow walk, and clasped the heart rate monitor which logged a 175 which went down very quickly. I wanted to SHOUT I was so happy. I couldn't really though, because I was about ready to pass out, I had to instead concentrate on catching my breath, and getting my legs working right, and waiting for my heart rate to go down, and wiping the sweat out of my face. But in my head I was screaming "YES! YES! YES! I DID IT! UNDER 40!! FIRST TIME IN HOW MANY YEARS!!!!"

SOOOOOOOOO happy, you have no idea. In the old days my average time was 26-28, with my all time record a 24 (racing on a bet with Tom). So 37:45 is not great, it's not even good in running terms. But shaving off seven minutes IS AMAZING, for anyone. I was really proud of myself, not just for the accomplishment, but for working so entirely hard during the run. The all out effort probably rivaled my 24 time.

That's all. Oh, and I'm down 13.5 pounds. This is me yesterday after exactly a month of 2 hour workouts. Can I tell you that the difference between last month's graduation pictures and this picture is absolutely amazing.

Real Housewives of NY

Okay... I just don't GET it. I haven't seen grown people screaming like this since I (happily) left my last company. And it's been a couple years now, so I'm just not USED to this.

But what I don't get is how they are going to do a show next year? I mean... they HATE each other, and mostly for perfectly legitimate reasons. How are they going to sit down and pretend they like each other next year? Besides the fact that I would have taken Ramona and Kelly out behind the studio parking lot and smacked the crap out of them both, so "ka-doos" (TM Ramona) to them all for restraining themselves, but I would never ever be able to just sit in a room and pretend to be civil with any of them after today (if I was them). I'll say this, the Countess went up about a million points in my eyes after this, and I've always loved Jill and Bethenny (BETHENNY MY LOVE BETHENNY) but Ramona is WHACKO and Kelly is BIZARRO. And Alix, well, she smartly kept quiet and so also seemed so much better compared to Ramona and Kelly.

And so we're done. GAWD, finally. Of course I can't wait for next season because this is my favorite ensemble of Real Housewives - and I would watch Bethenny on anything.

But have you SEEN the Real Housewives of New Jersey??? Bravo must be crapping all over themselves with excitement over that bunch.

Real Housewives of New York

I just don't have anything to say about this reunion on TV right now. I mean, I am gloriously enjoying the deliciousness of it, but the yelling and non-stop screaming, OHMYGOD, and the fingers in each others' faces and the accusations and the INSULTS and then Kelly sounding like she's just coked out the last cells of her brain...

I LOVE it but it's giving me a massive headache and also... I would have just slapped Ramona in the face so many times this hour. GOOD GRIEF. NO WORDS.

And also LOVE.

I've had my mind on other things recently and I might be short on posts for a while. Nothing new there though, eh? Oh, and don't worry, I'm not WORRYING about anything, just have other nice things to think about.

So Buffy went to junior prom on Saturday!!! WEEEEE!!!!! I kind of pushed her into it, she didn't have only one person that she wanted as her date and figured if she went it would just be alone. I told her she should just go with her friends and have a good time - how many chances do you have in life to dress as a fairy princess and just have fun?

So she decided to go, and even got three other friends to go with her - WITHOUT their boyfriends! It was a "Girl's Night Out" prom, at their own choice. I not only loved the idea, I loved that these four girls had enough confidence and self assurance in themselves that they made their own choice to do something on their own, against society expectations, and just have fun indepentently as friends. They all had boyfriends, and they all decided they didn't need those men for this particular night. PROM NIGHT. How many 16-17 year old girls do you know who are willing to leave the boys at home to go have fun together?? On PROM NIGHT??

So the four of them dressed in their best Junior Prom dresses and off they went. None of us knew in advance, but the prom was held outside under thousands of fairie lights (California RULES), with some sort of "Egyptian Rave" theme. They were all given glow sticks, there was plenty of catered food there, Buffy said it was all techno dance music - and when she spoke to me the next morning she said she had the time of her life.

She wore her short little white fairie dress with white fishnets and high heels. She ended up losing the shoes early on (I figured she would) and danced the entire night away with her friends. She said the time just flew by and couldn't believe it was over.

And now I don't have to encourage her to go to Senior Prom - she's already planning for it!

I love that girl. I love that independent, head-strong, confident girl. She really is going to go far in life.

Pictures are on Flickr - just scroll past the first couple pictures that are from Mother's Day, you'll know the prom pictures when you get to them. She had money for formal pictures at the prom, but they didn't want to "waste time" standing in line so they didn't take them. And so... these pictures are all we're getting.

I think she and her friends were beautiful - don't you?

"Thanks for being a great Mom," said Spike.

"Thanks for not killing me in my sleep," said I.

"Fair enough," said Buffy.

"You're welcome," said Spike.

I love my family. We are great together.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pischina/3516473089/

Buffy ready for Prom

Posting pre-prom photos to http://www.flickr.com/photos/pischina/ one by one... get ready...

Finally getting back to Aptos tonight. We're going to go to the movies and then see either Star Trek or Wolverine - Scott prefers Wolverine.

Then it's back home around noon to get Buffy ready for Prom Saturday night. As soon as she leaves I'll have to write several papers for school. And that will be how I spend my Sunday too.

Well, except for the part where I go to the gym of course.

I'm going to be pretty busy, so I'll be scarce until Sunday evening. Oh, except for when I'm procrastinating of course.

Buffy and I had the most fabulous time EVER today at Wicked. I will post the whole story tomorrow. For now I'll just say those tickets were worth every single penny and more, it was probably the best show I've seen since Cirque du Soleil's "O" and we are absolutely going to go see it again. And besides the ticket money, we dropped quite a bit on T-Shirts, mugs, soundtracks, programs, key chains, etc.

If you have any opportunity to go see a "Wicked' production, I just can't explain how highly I recommend it. You won't regret it.

San Francisco!

Buffy and I are off to see Wicked today!!

New ways to have fun with Cinequest throughout the year - Get involved!!

New Cinequest Happy Hours and letting your voice be heard at CQ20!

Wednesday I am taking Buffy to see Wicked in San Francisco, and we are both really really excited. I hope we don't get lost.

We're also going to see No Doubt at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in July. I love No Doubt so so so much. I am really excited about this, even though we'll be on the grass and Gwen Stefani will not be identifiable she'll be so far away, but they have giant film screens, so that works out.

THEN, we're going to see Pink at the HP Pavilion on September 17. I am REALLY looking forward to that one, I think it's going to be a GREAT concert, and I LOVE Pink, and we have third row seats. Hurrah for advance purchase codes.

I might need to get some friends to take with me sometimes instead of my daughter. I'll work on that next.

Surprise in the mirror

I have upped my workouts to around 2 hours a day. I love every minute of them. I feel like the old (young) me for the first time in a long time. It's so amazing that I can go to the gym after work and stay as long as I want/need to because the kids are old enough to take care of themselves. Buffy especially has been very impressed by my hard work. She got up with me Saturday at 6:30am to go to the gym and was a little irritated to realize we were staying there all morning. She ended up napping on a gym couch while I finished my weight workout. She thinks I'm amazing, and that is a nice feeling.

But there is something else. For the last 6 months to a year, every time I looked in the mirror I was surprised and horrified at the huge monster staring back at me, huge chin, no neck, a bloated grape for a face. It's been horrible. And then to see my graduation pictures and have that swollen monster staring back at me wearing my cap and gown...

But yesterday I caught my reflection and was SHOCKED to see... the OLD ME. A pretty woman with a neck, and one nice chin, and a bright face, and cheekbones, and a happy, relaxed smile. And now I can hardly stop looking at that reflection. I am in love with it. I don't think I'm beautiful, or a 10 or anything, but I see the old me, the girl I have missed so badly, and there she is! She's here again! It's an amazing sight, and such motivation to keep going. I used to hate seeing my reflection when I worked out with the personal trainer last summer - but now I see a whole different person, and it's a girl I know so well.

I can't wait for graduation. Who knows how much I'll have lost by May 21, but it's going to be a changed woman who meets back up with her friends and professors. Even though my gown will hide the entire loss... so much of it is in my face!! I truly love my face right now, I can't even say how much.

Everything feels so good. My legs feel so good and so alive, my entire body feels alive and strong again. It's such a great feeling. I know most people don't have the time to work out for 2 hours a day, and I am really grateful that I have this opportunity.

Buffy told me today that I'll probably have to keep working out like this even after I've lost all the weight. I told her probably not for two hours, every day, but maybe half that. But really? Working out has always made me happy, made me feel very alive. Sure, it's hard at first, but after a couple weeks it really isn't hard at all, it's just like breathing life into yourself. And so I don't care if I have to work out for 2 hours a day for forever and ever and ever. It's made me a happy person again, made me happy to be alive - and you don't know how far I've been from that feeling since my mother died. It's been difficult sometimes. But now, I am here again.

I love this feeling. I love my new face. I love the brightness in my eyes. I love the strength in my back. I am in love with myself.

And that is an amazing thing.

And now presenting my latest San Jose MetBlogs article!

Failing Grade for Santa Clara County Air Quality

My new happy life

Shower taken, eating oatmeal at 7am on a Saturday, Daughter getting up...

It's time for the gym!

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