Today I have these horribly ugly bruises all up and down the inside of my upper arms. It looks like someone grabbed me and shook me real hard. They are actually the most horribly disgusting bruises I've ever seen but I can't hide them because it's summer and Hellooooo I'm not wearing sleaves.

What really happened is this.

Buffy and I went boogie boarding at Capitola Beach yesterday, and the waves were coming so fast and so strong that I was holding on to the board for dear life every time I caught one and was sent hurdling towards the beach at ungodly speeds while yelling "OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT" as I tried to avoid all the little kids in the way. So that is where the bruises came from, squeezing the board so hard between my arms. "But... you're not supposed to be holding on like that, Mom," said Buffy when she saw the bruises. My reply: "I was scared."

But what happened in between actually catching the waves is the funny part. Because for most of the day Buffy and I floated out on our boards in the ocean while I teased her about sharks and slimy fish, and we untangled ourselves from the floating seaweed, and every once in awhile a nice calm little wave would come and give us a ride. But around 2pm the BIG waves came, and they came so suddenly that I could never recover from the first one.

So here we are floating, and suddenly Buffy says "MOM, Here it comes!" and she paddles away. By the time I looked behind me a huge wave was already curling above me and before I could get ready it slammed me under water and took off with my board which was hooked to my wrist so that I did about four summersaults underwater, the top of my swimdress pulled down, the skirt yanked over my head, and then the wave spit me out onto the beach still rolling around. Fat lady alert! Swimdress all inside out and over her head and rolling rolling rolling onto the sand!

I stood up, spit saltwater out of my mouth, and tried to get my board out of the water but TOO LATE, here comes another wave, meanwhile the back pull of the water is dragging me and my board back into the ocean. Tried to get settled and ready but it came too quick, tried to jump over the wave but instead was slammed back under water, summersault, summersault, top down, skirt up, the water pulling me and my board up onto the sand, spit out saltwater, try to get up, water pulls me and board back into the ocean.

Repeat.

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.

Good grief, by the time I was able to get out of the ocean I was panting hard, the front of my swim dress was stretched out longer than the back, I have two scrapes right above each knee, one leg was bleeding right below the knee. The arm bruises had not appeared yet.

It wasn't scary though, it was fun. Only because I am an excellent swimmer and not afraid of the ocean. Every time I pulled my skirt down off my head I kept thinking "These beach people are probably having the time of their lives laughing at the fat lady rolling around in the water" but I didn't really care, I was having fun. And I'm much more athletic than I appear at the moment, so even when I was actually getting loose from the water I still kept running back out and trying to get back on the board - normal fat ladies don't do that, only crazy athletic fat ladies try to take on the ocean, heh.

Well, the ocean won. Beat me black and blue and sent me home bleeding with sand filling areas it didn't need to ever fill.

Good times.

Site
Diary
Running Diary
Pictures
Guestbook
Pischina-Ku
books

Recent Entries
Well Played Ms. Britney
Don't mess with my TV
To give you a laugh
Messing with The Buff again
Happy and Sad News
The heat. The heat. Is KILLING me.
Big Brother
Lovely dreams last night
McCain's Bitch
Big Brother pt 2

Categories
Blogger Idol
Books
Computer People
Diary Update
eBay
Family
Food
Friday Five
Happy!
Health
Interesting
Kids
Lara Croft
Movies
Music
News
Nothing Special
Old Blogger Entries
Pets and Pets and Pets
Politics
Quiz
Reasons for Love
Recipes
Running
School
Scott
Site Maintenance
Sports
Television
Vehicles
Work
Writing