A Grown Woman: Mandatory Funtime Activities

Although my boss reads this I'm going to post it anyway cuz it has nothing to do with her and is really just broad commentary on corporate life in America.

I don't get the whole Workplace = Family thing. For me? My family is Spike and Buffy and my aunt and my grandparents. My company is where I go to work. My coworkers are the people who work at the same place I do. My family includes the people I love and want to spend my time with. The people I go to work for. My coworkers are not the people I should have to spend time with during non-working hours.

Luckily, I really do like my immediate work team. A lot. And I don't mind going to dinner with them or doing outside things with them because they are like friends. But the majority of the people I work with, while nice people, are not my friends. (Note: there is a difference between "not a friend" and "enemy". A definite difference, and I don't have enemies at work.) But I would never give up a Saturday to spend with even my Team if I have a choice of being with my family or boyfriend instead.

I choose to spend my valuable free time with my kids. Not my coworkers. And I should not be made to feel like I am not a "team player" if I feel like spending time at home with my family instead of with my coworkers. If I was trying to climb the corporate ladder then I understand putting in that extra time, but even if I was a regular full time worker who wanted to stay at the company my entire life - I still have a family at home, they are the reason I am working.

There's no reason why I'm typing this right now, nothing has come up at work.. it's probably more of a constant feeling I have I guess, that I'm always seen as the uncooperative, non-inclusive, antisocial non-team player in my office. And while I don't deny that I'm antisocial, I am a team player (with my TEAM, not my entire 4000 employee company!!) and I work my ass off when I am in the office. That should be seen as a Plus. It really should. I put more work into my four hours than most of the 8 hour a day people I work with. Not a false claim there. And that is what should count. It really is the only thing that should count - and I honestly work my ass off.

I hate writing things about my job now because my friend is my boss and I don't want this to look like I'm passive-aggressively complaining about my job here. Because I'm not. But it does bother me, a lot sometimes, and writing about things makes me feel better, so today I'm going to write it all out so I can feel better and try to get over it a little.

I don't even understand why I am the only one who seems to feel this way. What do all you out in computerland feel? Since you cover the range of the world and business classes. Do you all think you should be made to put extra time in to outside activities? I'm not talking a company picnic or Christmas party, I'm talking beyond that. Now that I think of it, my last company had some outside activities, but if you wanted to go you went, and if you didn't no one cared. Here I feel like... not that there is pressure, but if you don't go, you are an outsider. Not a team player.

So anyway, I already feel better. Just needed to write this out. I wish no one from work had any access to this so I could vent more comfortably, but such is life. I love my boss and she puts no pressure on me to participate. But beyond being about me, I just don't get it. I don't get why employees are looked down upon if they don't participate. I don't get why employees aren't judged on work activities - as opposed to non-work activity participation.

And now ya'll are bored out of your mind and probably quit reading. Which is fine too. I'm done though.

I totally get you on this one. I'm also a part-timer, and I rarely go to outside work stuff. I think the part-time status is the reason I don't socialize much with co-workers out of the office. I, too, like most of the people I work with.

The main problem is that most of the "going out" they do is at our local bar where they all drink *a lot* and then hop in their cars to drive home. Yeah, I'm not cool with that part at all. I'll go to lunch with the girls, but the rest is not for me.

Posted by: catherine at July 8, 2007 10:20 PM

I work in management for one of the largest public employers in my area - there are a number of "outside-of-work" activities, of which I choose not to take part. I have never been made to feel anti-social or not a part of the team, though.

Personally, I think if a company wants to offer its employees team-building or "fun" activities, and makes it seem almost mandatory, those kinds of things should be planned on company time.

And I'm with you - I would rather spend my free time with family or friends than with my co-workers, no matter how much I like them!

Posted by: leslie at July 9, 2007 7:20 AM

I'm with you and on this. I've always felt that the folks I work with are more acquaintances. Someone that I know, less than friendship but more than just someone you pass on the street. I go to work to get the money to pay the bills and I hate going to a job interview when they ask you "What are you looking to get from this job?" and "What sort of relationship are you looking to have with your work environment?" and you know they want you to BS them but really the only honest answer is money to pay the bills and a comfortable work atmosphere so I can give all that have during work hours and go home and relax with the ones I love.
And 'relationship with your work environment', what the heck is that supposed to mean anyway?

Posted by: Kat at July 9, 2007 9:21 AM