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Okay I'm getting antsy already. I want school to start so I can really say I am a student at San Jose State University.

Saturday I take my Writing Skills Test.
June 9 I get my Spring grades and can send over my final transcripts (3.55 gpa)
June 29 I have a Transfer Orientation or something, and I believe I get to sign up for classes that day.

GAH, I'm ready NOW.

p.s. did you hear I'm a college graduate now?

I heart elastic

Solved the pants problem today by wearing my running pants.

Ahhhhhhhh.....

Okay, I rested for 3-4 days without thinking about school.
You didn't think I could go much longer than that, did ya?

So here are the classes I'm hoping to get into in the Fall:

English 100: Writing Workshop
English 101: Intro to Literary Criticism
English 123: Literature for Global Understanding: The Americas
Spanish 1A

Lit for Global Understanding replaces "Homer to Dante" as a required class, which excites me to no end. There will be no Homer in my college curriculum! Hurray!!!

I need all those classes for my degree. I wanted to take Italian instead, but that class was the same time as my other classes, and there was nothing else that would fit. Sucks, kind of. How are Spike and I going to go to Italy without speaking Italian? We'll figure something out, I'm sure.

That schedule is by no means set in stone, as they keep changing class availability. Last week I was going to register for "The Short Story" but this week it's gone, replaced with Global Literature. And I can't register for anything yet anyway. Hopefully I won't be stuck with too crazy a schedule. I like the one here.

June 19 I start Women's Literature. It will be my very last online class. Sighhhh, I will miss my online classes.

NOT funny

Okay, seriously. Did I gain ten pounds over the weekend? What's going on with my pants!!!

Hmmph.

I may be a college graduate but my pants seems to also have gotten a lot smaller.

I suppose I should now concentrate on that diet and exercise regimen that's been ignored for so long.

I am a little floored by all the people who have come here to say congratulations to me. People I haven't heard from in ages, how did you all know?? Anyway, it was really great to see some of your names again. REALLY great. Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me.

Look at me, here I am!

In four hours I'll be marching with my cap and gown, 6pm.
I received a graduation card from my mother's school, signed by all the first grade teachers.
That was quite a surprise. They all wrote notes in it.
It made me tear up, but I'm okay.
I put my cap on with the tassle too and looked in the mirror and teared up a bunch more.
Partly because I am just so damn proud of myself, but partly because I know I'm making my mother proud.
No one was ever as proud of me as my mom was.
Whether she's here or not, or with me today, I don't know, but I know I've made her proud.

After graduation I'm going out to dinner with my mom's sister, my grandpa, my uncle, and Scott and the kids.
Then it's off to Aptos for a rest.

The last day of school is always an adjustment.
I get bored, don't know what to do.
When I had papers to write all I wanted to do was watch TV.
Now I sit here wondering what I'm supposed to study.
In three weeks my next class starts, Women's Lit. It actually is the last class I need to complete my English AA, but I do have all my classes and units to graduate for General Ed, so I'm still counting today as official. But I do have that last three weeks of school to get my English Degree.

But like I said, what now? Well, I have five new books to read, I guess I can start there.

Tomorrow I walk the stage!!!

I am a College Graduate

My actual ceremony is not until tomorrow, but I handed in my last paper today.
I believe I have all A's again.
After handing in the paper is when it hit me, I have nothing else to do! I am a graduate! I have a college education! I can check that box now! I finished! I did it!

What do I do the rest of the day??? *scratch head*

My books from Amazon haven't arrived yet, so I went to Barnes & Nobel and bought a ton of books AND a jump rope "kit". Then I took myself to lunch and read one of my books.

Then I came home and passed out on the couch in front of the TV.

Of course, when I woke up Buffy was late coming home from school and no where to be found... of COURSE.

But she was found and all is well, it wasn't a big deal. Except for where I was driving all around looking for her, but it was all okay and innocent in the end.

Now I go to dinner with Charleen and another girl from work.

I'M A COLLEGE GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Almost...

I already got back my grade for my essay that I turned in last night!
A+

Of course. That makes an A for the class too.
Have to finish up this last one now, then I'm done.

I can't believe I'm actually almost done.
Swimming is over, I should have an A.
I just turned in my essay, I should have an A in Gay/Lesbian Literature.
Now I just need to finish this stupid research paper and I'll be done with English Lit (and good riddance).

And then I get to check that little box, "College Graduate".

Five Pages left to Write

And when I'm done I get to read whatever the heck I want to.
First on the list, The Devil Wears Prada . An easy summer book for sure.
After tomorrow morning, I am done with the semester,
WHOOOPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

In two weeks I'll have a clean house

So MerryMaids called me just now and we set up an appointment for June 5 to come give me an estimate. From her range of prices it looks like I'll take an every other week service, and if I completely fall in love with it I'll go for a weekly.

She gave me a tentative price of $180 for the initial cleaning - without actually seeing the house.

I say, "HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Silly Maids." I'm ready for an actual estimate of $500 when they see the place, it has not been vacuumed since OCTOBER, and the only thing we've done since October is clean the kitchen and bathrooms and squeezed around extra furniture and stacks of boxes, which means there's a lot of little piles of stuff and dirt. It is way beyond anything I could ever catch up on.

But that's what extra money is for, eh? Making your life easier. I don't need STUFF, that's for sure, but I could sure use an easier life. It's finally here.

1500 word essay pretty much complete. I'll probably go over it one more time tomorrow and then it must be turned in by tomorrow night.

I'm up to barely five pages on my research paper. It's coming along. It will get done, it's just requiring so much work. I would have had an easier time if I had figured out my topic earlier, but it really was difficult. Anyway, progress has been made, so there's that.

I have an A in class so far, so I shouldn't stress too much about this paper, but I don't want to turn in anything substandard in either. For all the pressures I put on myself it's quite hilarious that the kids put NO pressure of any kind on themselves. Only you know, NOT hilarious.

I get my quote for the maid tomorrow. This will be the best purchase EVER, and make me a tiny bit happy. I could use some happiness, I tell you, this last week of deadlines is making me crazy.

Jesus Effing Christ

Another day, another rule broken by Buffy.
I'm going to kill that child.
You gotta hand it to her, she never repeats the same rule twice. She comes up with a new one every day.

Hey ya'll, remember when she was cute?

Having a very difficult time

Regardless of what Rachael thinks, this research paper is going to be the death of me.

Now that I have actually started typing the research paper, for real, it is officially about Salman Rushdie and his The Prophet's Hair, compared and contrasted with Anita Desai's Scholar and Gypsy. Both are writers of English Literature who were born in India, so I finally got my connection.

I think with a lot of hard work tomorrow and Wednesday I can knock this out. Scott has given up his birthday tomorrow to celebrate this weekend after my graduation.

Just have to pad the paper with a whole lot of bologna and I'll be ready to go!

Vroom Vroom Vespa

Catie, it only goes 39 miles an hour and will be great to run trips to Longs and or the coffee shop. Don't worry, I'll give you a ride!
;-)

Beep. Beep. Vrooooooommmm.

After the maid, this is going to be my next purchase. Don't hate.
:-D

Why do you make it so EASY for us, Britney???

Honestly, I think Britney gets a slightly bum rap for her lacking parenting skills, I mean she kind of gets harped on for things that are NOT that big of a deal, but on the other hand she also makes a lot of CLEAR mistakes, but anyway, we do have to understand that papparrazzi is papparrazzi, and the entertainment media needs things to report, and I certainly wouldn't want them following ME around when I had little babies...

However.

Get a clue, Britney.

This has nothing to do with your parenting skills, and yet, it does question your lack of sanity. As if your marriage didn't already, and then the kid, and then the SECOND kid... but now you're going out to eat, in what appears to be a nice restaurant, wearing basically only your underwear??? I mean, sure, I see a pair of jeans there, and what I guess is supposed to be a... shirt... but basically you're in your underwear.

Stop complaining about the papparrazzi, is all I'm saying. You make it too easy. Even if I had had papparrazzi following me around everywhere, I guarantee you they would never, ever, ever catch me in public wearing only my underwear.

And you know, even with a baby on one hip I could still brush my hair.

Essay almost finished...
Just needs a better closing paragraph and some touch ups...

Research paper not really too far but I have chosen my subjects at least (Katherine Mansfield and Jean Rhys), heh, and it's due Thursday. I can do a 5-10 page paper by Thursday, just have to keep concentrating.

We even got a lot done in the house - it's still a horrendous mess though - but it's almost good enough for me to call in the maid. When I get that maid... I'm going to be one happy girl.

Tuesday is Scott's birthday.
Friday is graduation.
Then I'm free! I can't wait to enjoy Scott again.
Heck, I can't wait to enjoy LIFE again.

Mmmmm... Vanilla-Marshmallow-Chocolate....

I just saw something called a "Valomilk" on the cooking channel, and the TV show says they are pretty famous and common in the mid-west. I have never heard of this Valomilk, and have never seen one before.

But I want one now.

I was just wondering if any of you have ever heard of this candy? Or actually had one? Does it truly "run down your chin"? Is it really vanilla-y? Mmmmmm, someone send me one, please.

Must. Graduate.

Essay, Essay, Essay.
Research, research, research.
Blah.

Today was the last day of my own swim class - where I reminded the coach that I am getting an A+ in class, heh - and then I raced back to our neighborhood pool where the kids were having time trials. I tried to get some reading done for English Lit but apparently I am Little Miss Popular at the pool this year. It was very strange. I don't mind playing the outsider, I like being the outsider, but not today. I was never alone for two minutes before another mother came over to chat - mothers who have never spoken to me before.

The paranoia of an online diarist.

Regardless, it was odd.

Okay I'm just going to step up and admit this right now.
It's a good thing I put Scott's birthday on my Outlook calendar.

Wow, I checked that sucker just in time.

Final Essay today - Easy! I studied really really hard, got it all down, and wrote another great essay. AND the teacher said I had been a great student.

Next up, Research Paper and one easy essay. YAYYYY

Teenage Drama. Jeez.

Thursday morning I go to school and write my final English Lit essay - 7 pages long. Wish me luck. I didn't read any of the assignments this semester and have just crammed SparkNotes before my essays. It's worked for me so far, heh. And uh oh.

Then Tuesday I have a 500 word essay due in Gay & Lesbian Lit. That will be easy. I've received A's on all my essays in that class and have consistently finished the book an hour before the essay was due. Easy class.

Then Thursday next week I have a 5-10 page research paper due on some subject I have not picked out yet for, again, English Lit. Hate that class. So glad it will be over next week.

Friday I graduate. Done. 7 days until Graduation!!!!!

And this is me not preparing for tomorrow's essay.

It was fun while it lasted

So Buffy got in trouble again last week and was grounded. She has been very sweet and loving ever since. Now another "BFF" is having a birthday party this week and her father and I said that was covered under the grounding and she couldn't go. So she hates me again. She hates me more than her father because I "went along with what he said." She's mostly mad because Spike was grounded TWO YEARS AGO but still got to go out for a concert (that he received tickets for as a graduation present). For some reason, because of that one night that he got off, she should be able to get off grounding every single time she wants to go some where.

So here I am, the worst mother in the world, AGAIN.

Don't worry, I'm not losing sleep over it.

Check, Check, no checks left in the Checking Account

So now the house cleaners are at my mom's house and they're charging a fantastic $150 to deep clean the entire house, and I personally think this is a good deal.

However I have had to write out two additional checks to the carpet cleaners who keep finding "problem spots" that need fixing, and are supposedly saving me "$850", and today I told them that if there are any more problem spots don't bother calling me because I'm not writing any more checks out.

For every check off my list and check has been written out. Selling a house is expensive I'm telling you.

I am only 24 years old after all

This Sunday would have been my 18th Wedding Anniversary. Which I find completely ridiculous because first of all, it means I have spent the last 21 years of my life dealing with that guy, and also, how could I possibly be old enough to have an 18th Wedding Anniversary coming up???

House entirely empty of furniture... Check!
Carpets being cleaned and shampooed as I type this... Check!
House ready for sale... CHECK!

Today is one year since my father died.

Arranged to have my convertible towed and donated, and my jeep that's in my mother's garage towed and donated, today... Check!
Arranged for the carpet cleaners to come to mother's house on Monday... Check!!!

Now Charleen and I will work on emptying the house of furniture this weekend, and I have to get their taxes done. Oh, and sell the car. heh.

But we're almost there. Almost Almost Almost.

You would think after ALL the times the kids, especially Spike, have gotten poison oak that they would learn:

a) What it looks like
b) Don't touch it!!

But no. Spike has it on his face. Again.

Not easy on the kids either, believe me

Just to clarify that whole thing, it's not just a mental thing, it's really my whole body having problems every month. I don't know if it's menopause (at 39?) but my entire body feels really wierd, like tingles, and swelling, and burning, and a heaviness in my chest, and headaches. Combine that with these horrible rages that I have while barely knowing what I'm doing.
See? I need help, heh. I need to see a doctor.

Maybe Dr. Seuss can help me

I've been having extreme mental/emotional problems alongside my period every month for the past 2 years. And it kind of has to stop. I can't have a breakdown every month, even if my parents did both die - they were alive last year and this was still a problem. I am finding myself just unable to cope with anything for these couple days a month. I'm going to make an appointment for the doctor next week, and I seriously may have to ask for some antidepressants. Scott will freak, but I seriously need some help.

Finally went in and updated my reading list (under link ---> "What am I reading?"). I also cannot wait for school to end so I can start up reading books I've collected throughout the semester. I've never read a Jane Austen book, can you believe it? So I ordered a boxed set. However, I have Women's Lit this summer, and I know my teacher is partial to Austen, so I would bet I'll have the books assigned anyway. That's okay, you could do worse than be assigned to read Jane Austen over summer vacation, eh?

Just a tiny bit more...

The light at the end of the tunnel is finally showing, and all the work from the past few months is actually almost finished, for real. Although, I still don't have the furniture out of the house, and if it doesn't get out soon there's going to be another panic attack, but it looks like Charleen has a lead on that so we'll cross our fingers.

I finished my essay last night, and now I believe all I have left is a long research paper on George Elliot that is due May 25. That doesn't make me happy, but I am completely free until then, so it will get done.

And that is it. As soon as the furniture is out the carpet cleaners will go in and the house will be ready - it's due on May 16. School is over as soon as I hand in that research paper.

And then I'm going to sit down in front of the DVD player and watch 2 entire seasons of Deadwood and Battlestar Gallactica back to back.

I spoke to the attorney today for quite awhile and we actually have most everything done now. Also, found another great amount of money sitting in yet another retirement fund. But I cannot believe we are finally almost done and I'll be able to just forget about it while the court does its work.

Just need to get the rest of the furniture out of the house so the carpet cleaners can come, and we're all set.

Tomorrow is vacation!

Confirmed reservations at the Bed & Breakfast... Check!

More checks

Started addressing graduation announcements, Check.
FINALLY FINISHED house inventory for probate, Check.
Mailed off Property Tax bill for probate, Check.

For later:
Call American Funds about balance for probate.
Call Edward Jones Trust about balance for probate.
Call attorney with more questions.
Finish graduation announcements and mail.
Go to JC Penny's and get some clothes for wedding weekend (not MY wedding, no).

I am creating a new rule. No mothers are allowed to die, ever.
This sort of applies to fathers too, especially Charleen's father.
But mothers especially. Not allowed to die. Okay, when they're 100 they can die. I think that is best, and actually, why didn't God make it that way? All mothers live to 100. That is such a great rule.

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