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And so then Mother Nature said: "You shall start your period.... Now."

Dammit.

I was feeling kind of "off" today, per the post below, and I just realize now that I'm due for my period tomorrow, so that may be why. And why I'm so godawful bloated today - jeeeez, I'll be glad for the period to hit just to get rid of this stomache. And I was planning to go to the gym today, but I'm just wiped out, and now I think this is probably why. So once a month we can slack off cuz we're not feeling good, right? So I'm not going to the gym and I'm going to go home and watch Entourage, or maybe Survivor All-Stars (because why not watch how Amber and Rob fell in love all over again, right Mocksie? ;-) ) and maybe eat some chinese food for dinner, and I'm not going to feel guilty because once a month this is okay.

And then I'll also practice not starting every sentence I type with "So" or "and". But that probably won't take effect. Or affect. Whatever.

Bring on the slacker evening!

(Charleen's comment on Mocksie's comment about my love for Rob: "Does she not know those are the guys you ALWAYS go for???" Heee.) (P.S. Scott is definitely NOT a Rob type though. More of a Keanu Reeves / Sting type. He would hate Rob but he doesn't watch Reality TV, heh. Wierdo.)

boorrrrrrrrred

It's all or nothing, right? Work is slow, school is out, probate case on hold...
And then it all starts up again in about ten days. Then chaos again.
Can't seem to make up my mind, too busy, too bored.

Scott asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told him maybe a CD of Nina Simone or Billy Holiday. So what he got me was TWO anthologies of Nina Simone, and the complete boxed set of Billy Holiday CDs and a DVD too. He's so sweet. No there was no ring, but we talked a little about marriage, and we'll talk more on New Years, our three year anniversary.

Yes, I cried my eyes out on Christmas morning because I missed my mom.

The kids had a fantastic time.

My house is finally clean, and I'm really tired. Complete Christmas story in the diary now.

I finished watching Amazing Race Season 7, and while I loved Uchenna and Joyce and I'm really glad they won - especially after she shaved her head, and did it in such a dignified way, and they were SUCH a loving couple...

I still love Rob and Amber. And I don't care, but Rob is one of my favorite "reality characters" EVER, and I'd marry him in a second (so you better hurry up Scott!) but I have a feeling that he and Amber will actually be together forever. They are awesome together.

Finished Project Runway. Loved it. Really really loved it. (BOOO Mary Pepper!)

Next DVD series: Entourage. Anyone seen it? It's only 2 discs, so if it's no good, no big deal.

There is a girl at work here who I never knew very well, but when I was away after my mother died she watered the plants on my desk for me, without anyone asking her to. I was really touched by that, so for Christmas I made a donation in her name also.

So today I gave her a little paper crane ornament that I made, along with a card stating that I had donated a flock of chickens in her name.

At first she thought it was a joke, like "she got me a flock of chickens??". Actually, she says she thought I was using my "Charleen humor" HAHAHAHAHAHA, but then her co-worker pointed out the paragraph that states what the chickens were for. So then she comes running over and tells me how much she LOVED the gift, and that she "never got a flock of chickens for Christmas before!" And later she told me that when she was growing up she used to raise chickens, so she knows how much good they can do for a family. And then later I passed her in the hall and she started skipping down the hall saying, "I got chickens for Christmas! Donated in my name! Best present I EVER GOT!!!"

And that made me really, really, really happy.

If my camera phone didn't make such a loud noise when I take a picture I would totally take a picture of the elf that sits behind me. He's totally an elf. But I can't take a picture, so ya'll are out of luck.

A list for today

#1 I have an elf sitting in the cube behind me now. Well, he looks like an elf. I don't see any toys in his cube though.

#2 SCHOOL IS OVER

#3 I rented the first seasons of Project Runway and America's Next Top Model and fell in love with them both. More so Project Runway.

#4 I totally aced that English Lit final

#5 I believe I aced my presentation in Communications last night (Dual Perspective as it relates to Napolean Dynamite)(true) - but you can never ever ever know with that teacher.

#6 I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL

#7 I am also done with the chocolatey marshmallowy peanuty chocolate thingies that a co-worker brought me and since she's the one responsible for the addiction, I think she needs to bring me more.

#8 I am already logged as the #3 female weightlifter in my age group at my gym. Methinks the other ladies need to work out more.

#9 I gave my kids $60 to shop for a gift for me at the mall, and now there's a giant Victoria's Secret box under the tree. I'm hoping there's flannel in there.

#10 I have already mentioned about school, right? BRING ON THE BOOKS AND DVDS AND NONSENSE!

Contrary to my journal entry it IS raining pretty hard here today - actually though, it's maybe the third day it's rained this winter. Anyway -

HOLY CRAP you should have seen the lightening that just flashed, and then the humongously long and loud thunger that came after. The bird and I both jumped.

In other news, went to the gym, rode 7 miles on the bike, and lifted 36000 pounds. Go me!!!

Today I had the day off. I went to Sportsmart hoping there would be sales, you know, like Christmas sales, but NO, they not only had (hardly any) sales but they also had no swim suits. Hopefully some place will have them by the end of January. As for the "sales" they did have? A sports bra marked down to $25 is not a sale. Track pants for $60 is not a sale. I can get the same damn things at Target for $15. I was disappointed because I've been to their REAL sales before, and they're quite awesome.

But.

The running shoes were on sale, and I GOT SOME. Nike Converge. They are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO beautiful, that picture doesn't even do them justice. It also doesn't show how old and raggedy my old ones were. Anyway, I put them on and drove straight to my old YMCA. Re-signed up, put my stuff in a locker...

And ran on the treadmill. Then worked every weight machine (15) twice, for a total of 29712 pounds. Yes that's right, almost 30,000 pounds. Then rode the bike. When I checked out, I noticed that I had reached my next level already - I was only 250 points away when I left that gym! So with the 500 points I earned today, I am at 30000 points and have earned my Yellow YMCA shirt. WOOOOOO!!! Great welcome back present!

And it's funny, because as much fun as I had at the gym, and I really really did, I am totally not having fun at the moment. The closer it gets to Christmas the gloomier this family has been feeling. I will snap out of it, don't worry, you don't have to say anything to me. It's part of the grieving process, so just let me be. I think for us to get on with things we may have to just accept that it isn't going to be a happy Christmas, no matter how much we want it to. My mom only died 6 weeks ago. Like I told her just a few months ago... it's okay to still be sad.

Again with the godawful loud Christmas music at work.
Can I clarify please that I do love Christmas Music, but this? Is horrid.
The Baby Jesus would not be pleased I tell you.

In other news, I ran another 2 miles last night. That makes 4 days out of the last week.
Go Me!

Goshdarnit People, if you all have wishlists, you better put a link where I can find it! How am I supposed to get gifts for my very special friends if I have no idea what you want????

You guys make me happy

So last night I wasn't feeling that hot, emotionally, and not really that great today either, and I wrote a not very happy entry in the Diary, but I also asked for some cookie and peanut brittle recipes, and today I turn on my computer and my guestbook is FULL of recipes for holiday treats!

And how can you not be a little bit cheerier when your guestbook is full of holiday treats?

Thanks Guys. I'm still not feeling great, but you guys definitely help.

So after a very nice three day weekend (and another coming up this week!) I am happy to report that I ran 3 of the last four days. And my leg muscles are crying to prove it.

And then a very large life insurance check came in, and it had so many zeroes that I kept mis-punching the amount at the ATM when I tried to deposit it. At any rate, looks like some bills will be paid off and a car will be ordered next month.

And maybe some work-out clothes bought, and also the dreaded swimsuit that I need by February 4th, 7am.

Brrrrrrrrr.......

I did it yesterday!
Ran 2 miles!
WHOOOOOOOOO

And in 90 minutes I'm off to Aptos!

Also, Charleen's dad is having his second surgery, so keep them in your thoughts. Thanks...

A) The LOUD INSANE CHRISTMAS MUSIC is back, and I would like to know why, when they have reasonably nice Christmas music playing the volume is down low, but when it is a horrid wretching wail of Christmas songs then they turn it up.

B) I watched the end of The Amazing Race (yes, Season 1) last night, and when Kevin & Drew got eliminated I shut the TV off, threw the remote control, and went to make dinner. I was so pissed off! But then Rob & Brennan won, and even better, the Guidos came in third, and even better, the Guidos came in so far back in third they were told to just forget it.

C) Yes Emily, my Amazon list is up-to-date, but remember, I don't need any gifts. You guys just wish me happy holidays and I will be happy. Also, yes my picture link does not seem to be working, but I don't have time to worry about it yet. I'll fix that later.

D) Indian-Guy next to me just turned his radio on loudly to a baseball game, or something like that, and while now I have Celine Dion screetching in front of me and Howard Cosell yelling next to me, still, it's funny.

E) I AM going to start running.

Blame it on the weather

Foiled by rain.
I didn't even know it was raining outside when I typed that wish to run yesterday.

Oh well.

I've done a lot of work this week, and I'm tired and bored right now. Sorry Charleen, but I am NOT working at the moment.

Today I should have the final disc of The Amazing Race in the mail - I CANNOT WAIT.

We watched the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and it wasn't really all that bad. In fact, the tone of it was probably closer to a Roald Dahl story, but I didn't like the back story on Willy Wonka's father that was added in - I mean, nice touch, but I don't believe that was in the book, and I hate when they do that.

I wasn't impressed with Mr. and Mrs. Smith. If Angelina and Brad hadn't been in it I would have hated it.

15 more minutes and I can go home.

You think I'll start running today? Maybe...
I can't lie, the heart thing worries me, even before my dad died, but especially after he died and then REALLY especially after my mother sat down on the couch and died out of the blue. Hearts are unpredictable. I don't really want mine going out yet.

Just to be safe, Charleen? email Meg at DivineReality to get my passwords if anything ever happens to me.

I need to change the trust beneficiary for my life insurance to Scott, since it used to be my mother. And as soon as all the inheritance comes in I'm going to do my living trust. Gotta be prepared so things go smoothly, also I don't want excess money going to lawyers or anywhere else. Give it all to the kids. With Scott in charge, heh.

That was probably me trying to convince myself to not run. But today I feel good. I weigh more than I ever have, but at the moment I feel fine, so I'm going to go for it. If I die I die, right?

I need to do my nails when I get home. After I go run and then make dinner. Then I watch Amazing Race and do my nails. Yeah. That's it.

Okay, enough. I'm done here.

They may be smart, but do they have sense...

So should I be worried about my lawyer (for my mother's estate) if on letters he sends out he refers to me NOT as (My first name) (My last name) but instead as (My sister's name) (My last name).

*Sighhhhhh.....*

Idiot.

Mark your calendars - Oh, and mark mine too

Okay guys, Sunday, October 29, 2006, is the Silicon Valley Marathon.

I'm going to do the half marathon (13 miles).

Shut up, I am.

I won't put a time goal on myself this time, but I'm going to run it. It's the same one I did before (only 10K then) and it was an EXCELLENT race, one of my favorites.

I have to start swimming at the end of January, 3 hours every Saturday morning, 7am (for school). So I'll be ready to get in shape.

I mean it this time. I'm going to do it.

Okay so I was cranky yesterday.

I'm better today.

Also, the stupid Christmas music isn't blaring from that cube up ahead this morning - it's on and I can hear it, but it's quiet.

As if the day of rude people will never end...

I was asked to go to dinner today because one of our team members is here from Atlanta, and that's all fine and dandy, and I think she's great, so I agreed to go to dinner.

But people. I have a life outside of work.

So at 5:10pm I wander around looking for the only two people who still plan on going to dinner, and I find them and I ask when we are leaving, and they look at me like - Can't you wait another hour or so?

What, at my cubicle?

And I explain, Look, I cannot stay out all night, I have kids at home, I need to be back at a reasonable hour.

So they agree they'll be ready at 5:30.

It's 5:41, and no sign of them.

I really want to just go home. I have studying, and cleaning, and relaxing to do. I have things to do besides spending more time with my co-workers.

I have a LIFE and I don't want to spend it HERE!!!!!

Shut. The Hell UP.

Oh my gosh, she just cranked the music up LOUDER! Unbelievable!!!!!

Actually I just want some QUIET this early in the morning.

Here at work in cubicle-land we all have the ability to play music on our computers. And most of us do, quietly, play what we wish in our own cubicles where no one else has to listen to my classical music, or his Indian music, or her rock music.

Except for one girl, who always thinks everyone wants to listen to what SHE wants to listen to. Every morning I come in and she's blasting whatever it is she wants to listen to... And People, that's just RUDE. If I wanted to listen to that, I would be listening to it. As it is, I want to listen to my classical music, because that is what calms me down in this job.

So knock it off. Use your volume control. And stop thinking everyone shares your taste in music so well that you don't even have to ASK if we want to hear your computer. I DON'T.

I'm going to go home, stop at StarBucks and get a coffee, sit on the couch and watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Disc 3 of The Amazing Race, and watch Nancy and Emily, and the Evil Guidos, and the Fantastic Bald Guys all night long. Then I'm going to sleep in, make a huge pot of coffee, and clean the house up. And watch my DVDs again.

And that is it. It has been a long week and I'm soooooo happy it's over.

Also... Shut Up. I know I'm the last person on earth to ever see The Amazing Race, but I finally am and now I know why you all loved it. And don't you DARE tell me who won the first season!!!!!

Okay, off I go....

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